Degrassi: The Next Generation of Gay Teens on TV

TNG reader and frequent commenter Adam Isn't Here submits this post.

Man, there are lots of fags on the TV these days. It’s almost as if you’re not allowed to make a show that doesn’t have a homo in it. Even the pretty-macho Soprano’s, in its final weeks, outed one of their own. And mostly sympathetically too; even if he did get raped to death by a pool cue in the end.

Television has taught us that mobsters can be gay; as can bookstore owners, tenants in drama-prone Los Angeles apartment complexes, fussy pathetic New York lawyers, morose funeral home operators, witch friends of vampire slayers, kick ass Baltimore cops, conflicted drug dealers, cute hilarious drug dealers, creepy Mormon cult leaders, naked survivors, and whatever it is those boring married-gays do on that boring Brothers and Sisters show. That’s right, gays can be boring and earnest too.

But you know what kind of gay you don’t see much of on the ol’ tube? I mean, apart from women, people of color, or anyone who isn’t physically attractive of course. Teens! Which is weird, because television LOVES teenagers. Oh sure, I remember Ricky, (how could I forget Ricky?) but he, like everything else having to do with My So Called Life, was an anomaly. Not any more though.

Just off the top of my head I can think of four gay characters, who are sixteen or younger and featured prominently on their respective shows. I’m not trying to tease you by holding out names this long, the programs I’m referring to are Degrassi, United States of Tara, Skins and Gossip Girl.

Let’s start with Degrassi. Now I should tell you, I’m between the ages of 20 and 35, and I’m Canadian. That means I’ve seen every episode of the original Degrassi several times over. Growing up, Degrassi was inescapable. Inescapably awesome! Of course Degrassi has already dealt with the love that dare not speak its name more than once. This one time everyone was sure Ms. Avery was a lezzer, and that she may or may not have been hitting on Caitlin. It caused quite a stir. Another time Snake’s brother came home from college and told everyone that his relationship with his special roommate was very special indeed. The shame! But no actual student of Degrassi ever came out that I can remember. It took until “The Next Generation” for that to happen, and once it did it snowballed almost out of control. This new Degrassi is crawling with queers; some avowed, some closeted, and others just experimental. Oh to be young again.

The only problem I have with Degrassi’s current gay story line is that it involves another jock. This time it’s a football player who makes a move on the floppy-haired twinky one, only to be gently rebuffed in the “woah dude I think you misunderstood” style of rebuffment. So he gets a girlfriend and starts taking steroids because he thinks it’ll make him straight, all the while sneaking off for long runs in the park where he has rendezvous with an old buddy from soccer camp. It’s all adorably misguided. Frankly I’m just surprised it took Degrassi this long to tackle the very real issue of gay public-park sex.

That’s very titillating and all, but Degrassi already had a gay jock. He was a hockey player and he and his boyfriend were tragically torn in twain so jocko-homo could pursue his professional hockey career in Switzerland or Sweden or someplace. I know, I know, there are gay jocks out there, and I’m sure they feel very underrepresented, poor things. I think it’s great to make the point that gay kids don’t need to be put off athletics or other “manly” endeavours because they’re gay. But they already made that point. Being attractive and athletic, this kid’s already got a leg up, and what with all the same sex action going on at his high school, I’m sure it wouldn’t take him long to come to terms and get in on the fun. Being a homo isn’t exactly a heavy cross to bear at Degrassi.

The encouraging thing about young queers on TV is that it shows kids that it’s all right to be different. Jocks have got enough high school cache as it is, even if they do suck a dick now and then. So how about a deeply affected weirdo who smokes cloves and hangs out in the graveyard? Or a drama fag who really wants to audition for Maria but ends up as the Captain? Or the overweight, insecure video game player? How bout some screen time for them on Degrassi?

To the writers’ credit, the hockey player’s boyfriend was a total flamer. Like, super faggy. And they do have a very limp wristed drama fag, but he’s not gay. He actually got some chick knocked up, and then stole oxycodone from the pharmacy where he worked to pay for diapers. There is no action without consequence in this universe. It is a vicious and wrathful pantheon of gods that watches over the students of Degrassi. Maybe I should cut them a break.

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Law and Order for Women?

This post was written by TNG founder Zack, who watches way too many Law & Order reruns.

Tuesday night was very atypical for me because I actually got off my ass and left the house. My boyfriend and I went down to the 6th and I Synagogue to see queer band Antony and The Johnsons. Despite the venue's piss poor sightlines (it was better to stand against the wall than sit in the far left wing) I found the show to be pretty incredible. Antony's singing voice is just as magical as it is on his CDs. His talking voice was exercised quite a bit too. After I got over my initial shock that he speaks like an ordinary guy (no quivering, no wavering and his octave level was normal) I started to listen to what he was saying.

Among many long diatribes was a resonant thought on the modern roles of men and women. Wondering why we still make nuclear bombs and propagate war, Antony lamented the plight of the contemporary man. I am paraphrasing, but he said something along the lines of "Cavemen were wired to troll the perimeter of the camp to protect the women and children from Woolly Mammoths or other threats. Now they don't have to do that any more but still can't shake their impulse to fight. However, they have forgotten that the impulse was there in the first place to protect, not to harm."

He phrased it much more poignantly but I took his point. The Masculine Archetype should exist to guard, not to attack. But that's clearly not the case anymore. I thought about this until the show's end.

Then, in a much more typical fashion, my boyfriend and I came home and watched Law and Order. We have a crippling addiction to the standard iteration of that program but I cannot stand Law and Order: SVU. It makes me bristle. There's something about it that I find insulting. Now, thanks to Antony, I can finally articulate why.

Law and Order, for the uninitiated, has a very universal appeal. Every episode opens with someone stumbling across a body as they go about their daily grind. Two detectives show up and make a wisecrack before the opening credits. Then they chase after a couple red herrings. Once arrested, the correct suspect appears to be evading prosecution due to a legal loophole. But then one of Jack McCoy's interchangeable dark-haired assistants (excepting Serena Southerly) finds an overlooked detail that breaks the case. Then Jack, cookie-cutter brunette or Bill Richardson makes a closing wisecrack and the "Dick Wolf" final credits come up. It's as predictable as your favorite Mexican restaurant or someone yelling "Shut the fuck up" at one of my family's Thanksgiving dinners.

Does that sound like a formula that needed to be messed with? I think not. But Law and Order: Special Victims Unit is a whole different beast. The program focuses on rapes, sex crimes and seemingly anything involving a little girl in danger. The main characters are Olivia Benson, the striking take-no-shit lady detective with strong lesbian overtones. Her partner Elliott Stabler is a handsome family man who never shuts up about his children and is the subject of inumerable gratuitous nude scenes.

If I didn't know better, I would say that some NBC bigwig thought to himself "Hmm... Regular Law and Order is a detective show. Only men like detectives. How can I exploit the broadest female stereotypes to get more viewers?"

Am I the only one who thinks that SVU panders to the lowest common denominator of what marketers think that women like? I want to play a drinking game sometime with SVU. Whenever someone says "Protect" or "violate," I take a shot. When a little girl is in danger and Stable bursts through the door to save her, I take a shot. When Olivia exchanges a more-than-passing glance with a female colleague, I take a shot. I'd have my stomach pumped by the third commercial break.

I know that SVU is just mindless entertainment. It shouldn't bother me that it insults the intelligence of women. Who knows? Maybe it doesn't. But I know that my mom and my sister and my friends and the women that write for this site are interested in more than pretty faces and the sanctity of the female body. The latter is and always will be a respected priority in my life. But with actualy people on the streets fighting for abortion rights and stronger laws against sexual abuse, doesn't it cheapen the cause a little to focus an entire show on their entertainment values?

I think there are some truth to men/women stereotypes. As a matter of biology, men are wired to have as much sex as possible. That explains the success of manhunt. Women are more wired to seek one partner, which could account for all the lesbian nesting stereotypes. But I think most stereotypes beyond that are hooey. In this day and age, why is it decided still that men inherently care about trucks and women are overly concerned with yogurt? Is anyone with kids, nieces or nephews aware if the blue/pink rules of dressing a child are still staunchly followed?

More than anything, it reminds me too much of the way that gay men are marketed to. I suspect the same guy at the NBC writers' table who decided to try a "cop show for women" had a hand in the insulting beer ads and travel agency posters that are supposed to grab a gay man's eye with all their sweet exposed flesh and over-gelled hair. They are probably the same people who decided Will and Grace would only be appealing if its gay characters had no sex lives, but were over the top in every other behavior that the straight world thought gay men engaged in.

That said, Olivia is pretty hot and I never object to seeing Stabler in the buff. But it takes more than that for a show to hold my attention. Now if only they could somehow use CGI technology to make Briscoe and Green have sex on regular Law and Order. That would be... pretty disgusting, actually. I'm sorry for bringing it up.

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Your Morning Upper: Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs

TNG Events Planner Amelie submitted this post.

Mornings suck. So every morning TNG brings you a fun video to ease the pain.

The fact that I love Frasier is no secret. I love the fussiness of the brothers Crane, the blue-collar charm of Martin Crane, the sexcapades of Roz Doyle and Daphne's accent. But the moments I love most on Frasier are the moments of pure silliness, like this one, where Niles, in an attempt to coerce Frasier into co-authoring a book with him, recalls the brilliance of the musical they wrote together in prep school. Throw in some dancing and some suggestiveness, and you've got your morning upper.

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Preview: RuPaul's Drag Race on Logo

TNG advice columnist, Summer Camp, has some special advice for you re: RuPaul.

Remember RuPaul? The super tall, glamazonian drag queen who had a pop hit in 1992 called, Supermodel? The song capitalized on the zeitgeist of one-name models who could demand $10,000 per day like Cindy, Linda, Naomi, Christy, and Claudia. The song had a few interesting side effects on pop culture. (1) Suddenly, everyone was interested in drag (albeit a watered down, asexual version), (2) RuPaul became a HUGE sensation (remember his/her short-lived talk show?), and (3) far too many people were uttering the catch phrase, "You Better Work!"

Fast forward 17 years. RuPaul is back with a new show on Logo called RuPaul's Drag Race, in which, according to Logo, "nine fiercely talented divas vie for drag stardom as RuPaul (the man), guides the contestants through intense weekly challenges, and RuPaul (the most legendary drag queen in the word) reigns supreme in all judging and eliminations."

It will be interesting to see if this show is popular among the gays. I think there has been a gradual decline in the community's interest in drag during the past 17 years. (I have to admit that my awareness lays more in the drag queen scene and not so much in the drag king scene). It seems that the lack of interest in drag is more pronounced among younger gay men. Though, here in DC, it seems like drag still has a certain appeal for all ages. Miss Adams Morgan. The High Heels Race. Drag shows at Town. The reopening of Ziefeld's/Secret's. CRACK (Yes, I know that is a transparent and shameless plug for the cabaret show that I host, which returns to the stage on Saturday, February 28 at TOWN). All of these drag events are well-attended by a cross section of the DC gay community.

Personally, I still get a kick out of drag. Good drag. Bad drag. Embarrassing drag. I like it all. It's theater. I think drag is still a viable and interesting method of performance art. And I'm also a huge fan of trashy reality TV like ANTM, Project Runway, or Top Chef. So, I'm going to watch RuPaul's new show. I'm secretly hoping that it will be a disaster filled with train wrecks, or should that be tranny-wrecks? [Did I just invent a new word?].

The show premieres today on Logo TV at 10 PM and LogoOnline. In episode #1, "Drag on a Dime," the nine contestants must re-invent their glam drag looks using thrift store clothing and tschotchkes from the 99-cent store. Guest judge Bob Mackie stops by to help RuPaul weed out the drag queen with the least style.

I'll be back later this week with a recap of the episode. Hmm, maybe I should make the weekly recap a regular thing. No promises, cause this drag queen is busy getting ready for CRACK, which is back on stage Saturday, February 28 at TOWN (a second shameless plug...I guess that makes me air-tight?).

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In The Ladies' Room: Alternate Versions of The L Word Spin-Off

In The Ladies' Room is a weekly column brought to you Amelie and her BFF Anne, where they share their thoughts on pop culture, lesbian culture, dc culture, and more often than not, television.

Two Sundays ago, the final season of The L Word premiered. We had planned to go to one of the premiere parties happening around town, but between friends coming in for Barack Obama's Big Day (Anne) and being old and "married" (me), we decided not to. So instead of writing about our interesting encounters with various DC lesbians and their reactions to the new episode, we're going to talk about potential spin-offs.

Showtime announced recently that there is an L Word spin-off in the works; it's going to follow almost-everyone's favorite character, Alice Pieszecki (Leisha Hailey), while she's in prison. Because that's what we really need--another show about lesbians in prison. Anyway, when Anne and I started forcing our straight roommate to watch The L Word during the summer while we were all unemployed, we had plenty of time to mull over what would happen if other people featured on The L Word were the focus of a spin-off. If only we had known Showtime was actually considering a spin-off, we could be very, very rich right now. Or at least rich enough to pay our rent.

Below the fold, the spin-offs that could have been.


1) Black People on The L Word--For a show that is supposedly all about breaking down stereotypes, The L Word sure tends to buy into them. While the The L Word does do a better job representing different ethnicities, the show still has some trouble portraying them without falling back on stereotypes. For example, if there was a spin-off centering around black people on The L Word, it would primarily consist of Tasha (Rose Rollins) saying things like "I'd have to beat a bitch down, she tried to do that shit to me," and Kit (Pam Grier) saying things like, "Damn girl!" Which, sadly, is about all poor Pam Grier gets to say on this show nowadays.

And let's not for get one of The L Word's best moments in race/class stereotypes--Season 4's basketball faceoff.

2) Straight People on The L Word--Straight people on The L Word are one of two things--boring and perplexed by lesbian sex, or, straight girls just waiting to go gay, generally for Shane (as will be discussed below). But mainly, straight people are boring! When you play celebrity with straight people, they don't know who Kathleen Hanna is! Or Lily Tomlin! Or probably Judith Butler either! LAME! While Straight People on The L Word would be the most boring show on Earth, at least it wouldn't be quite as offensive as Black People on The L Word.

3) Straight Girls on The L Word-- Straight girls on The L Word, unless they are married, are generally just waiting to go gay. Sometimes they are married--but still, they go gay. For Shane.

Lots of lesbians want to be like Shane. Sadly, it is nearly impossible, for two reasons. A) Most girls do not want to go gay for some rando lesbo in a weird outfit. I have confirmed this, both through personal experience and through asking straight girls. B) Most lesbos have sex with straight girls and then get sad about it because said straight girl does not want to be their girlfriend. Shane does not get sad. She just wears weird shirts.



4) Music on The L Word--This show would just consist of playing the theme song on loop. Simply put, it would make your ears cry. A lot.



So, what are your ideas for a L Word spin-off?

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Dispatches from Left Field: Prayers for Mommy

This week, Matt reflects upon the new made-for-TV-movie, Prayers for Bobby and his own experiences with coming out.

In 1983, Bobby Griffith jumped to his death from a freeway overpass. For four years he had been struggling with his sexual orientation--and his family's reaction to it. While tragic, his death inspired his mother to become a strong advocate of gay rights.

Bobby's life and his mother's reaction to his death were the subject of a 1996 book by Leroy Aarons, called, "Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms With the Suicide of Her Gay Son." Saturday, Lifetime Television aired a film adaptation of the book. Called simply, "Prayers for Bobby," the movie was a sad, yet inspiring.

When Bobby is outed to his conservative, evangelical family, it starts a harrowing part of his life. Desperate to find his mother's acceptance yet be true to himself, his self-esteem continued to fall until his soul was beyond repair. Believing that his mother would never love him for who he was, he took his own life.

Yet that act shocked his mother into questioning her own beliefs. Eventually, she found herself an advocate for gay sons and daughters. Her transformation is heartwarming, but is tragic because of her loss.

Bobby's struggle with his family somewhat reminded me of my own. I came out to my parents over three years ago, but I don't feel like I've made very much progress beyond the few baby steps made in the first few months. And I can't for the life of me figure out why it bothers me so much.

I can still remember when I came out to them--like it was yesterday. I made a trip home from college, which was only about 50 miles, but was fairly rare, so they knew something was up. I suppose I really surprised them. My dad said "Bullshit" and my mom said "Why do you think that?" Despite my best efforts to explain to them that I was gay and that there was nothing wrong with me, I went back to Atlanta disappointed and stressed more than ever.

I hadn't really been ready to come out to my parents, but I'd had little choice in the matter. I'd been coming out to friends at college for a couple of weeks, and while I hadn't come out to my (conservative, fundamentalist) roommate, I knew he'd figure it out eventually. And his mother knew my mother. And my roommate, always eager to help, would have seen it as his duty to help me by making sure my parents found out. He would have intended for them to get me "help." So I headed him off and did it myself. I didn't want my parents to hear it from someone else.

Over the next few months I had to deal with a lot of the same issues that came up in the film. My dad wanted to know how I could be sure I was gay if I'd never been with a man. My mom thought I just hadn't met the right woman yet. At least originally, my father was convinced that all gay people eventually died of AIDS. All the gay people he'd ever known (like three) had died in the early 1980s of that disease, and I suppose he feared his only son would too.

Even today, three years later, my mom thinks it's "just a phase." Of course that's an improvement from her original belief that I was just confused. Both of my parents still refer to me as their son, "who thinks he's gay," not their gay son. Of course, they don't discuss it much.

Like Mary Griffith, my mother grew up in a fundamentalist church, and that has shaped her views. She thinks it's a sin, and she thinks it's unnatural. But unlike Bobby's mother, she doesn't condemn me for it. Neither of my parents has disowned me or mistreated me because of my orientation. But they haven't accepted it either.

Originally, I was loathe to discuss any relationships I was having. I was afraid that when one failed, it would only prove to them that they were right--that I was a confused straight male and that gay people were doomed to miserable lives. I still think that they believe that last bit. They seem to think that all my life, I will be denied jobs and be at risk for homophobia. They don't think I will be happy as long as I masquerade as a fruit.

But despite the lack of my parents' acceptance, I am happy. I have a good life, and other than this recession, I have few complaints. I have tried to show them that I am happy, but it doesn't seem to have made much difference. In May, my boyfriend and I flew down from Washington to go to a wedding in Atlanta. We stayed at my parents' house. In separate rooms, as my mom insisted. Still, I hoped that introducing my boyfriend would prove something. It doesn't seem to have done so.

They met him again in July and for Thanksgiving here in Washington, and yes, it was the same boyfriend. I've been with the same man for over a year now, but my mom still thinks my orientation is a phase.

When I saw that the film was debuting, I had my parents watch it. I haven't yet heard their reflections of it, but it would surprise me if it has made much of a difference in their attitudes.

I have no intention on giving up (either on life or on my parents), but I'm at wit's end as far as what I can do to get acceptance from my parents. I'm also at a loss to understand why it's so important to me. If I've not had to face any negative consequences, why do I find it so important for my parents to start thinking of me as their gay son, and not accepting any apologies for it?

I don't think my own mother will ever stand at the front of the PFLAG delegation at the Pride Parade, but I do hope for some improvement. I've encouraged her to go to PFLAG meetings amongst other things, but the best I can get out of her is for her to talk to her minister. And trust me, that's bad. He's not the gay-friendly type of minister.

I hope that in time, things will work out. But I'm impatient. Three years is a long time to wait, and I wonder how many more are yet to come. Regardless, I'll continue to struggle. And someday, I pray I'll be successful.

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In The Ladies' Room: Battle of the Lesbian Mini-Series

This week, Anne and I are taking on two much-beloved movies in the lesbian canon: Tipping the Velvet and Fingersmith. Both are BBC mini-series based on novels by Sarah Waters (the lesbian Nicholas Sparks, if he was into period dramas). We're putting them in a head-to-head battle to see which one comes out on top. But first, here's a one line synopsis of each to get you up to speed, just in case.

Fingersmith: Maud's a rich lady whose pornographer uncle makes her read naughty things aloud; Sue is her lady maid who is trying to steal her money; eventually the two fall in love, but then stuff gets wacky--i.e., identity theft.

Tipping the Velvet: Nan meets a girl, falls in love, they do musical theater. Girl stops loving Nan, Nan becomes a prostitute/kept women, Nan runs away, falls in love with Socialist activist lady.

Below the fold, the battle begins!

Best Editing:

Anne: I can only hope that when I force someone into the insane asylum in order to secure my fortune the image of them being carted off - screaming my name - will echo in my mind forever. Through the magic of editing we get to see Maud’s guilty conscience replay this scene with Sue over and over and over again. This editing lets the audience know that Maude feels really, really, really bad for what she did – which is important because otherwise she might seem a little evil.

What really pushes Fingersmith over the edge in this category, however is all the voiceovers. I would say 92.7 percent of the story is told as a voiceover.

Amelie: I think it's an easy win for Tipping the Velvet here: while Nan's working the street, giving BJ's for dollars, the way Tipping the Velvet chooses to demonstrate is by using a peen's-eye-view of the process. See below:


That is all. WINNER.

Best Plot Twist:

Amelie: Almost-incest is a pretty good twist, right? Nan stays with Flo, a baby and a man, and she automatically assumes the man is Flo's husband. But really it's Flo's brother! And the baby is her ex-lover's! Shock! Awe!

Anne: Secret old fashioned pornographers have to win this category don’t they? Also babies switched at birth, but back to the lady pornographers - hot nineteenth century lady pornographers who write lady porn about their lady lovers to make their lady fortunes. WINNER.

Best Metaphor for Lesbianism:

Anne: Wikipedia, missing the point as usual, writes that, "’[f]ingersmith" may also refer to someone who has a mastered a skill involving the use of his or her hands. Maud is a secretary for her Uncle, Mr. Lilly.” Um no Wiki, no. However, they might be on to something. While “tipping the velvet” may be a charming Victorian euphemism, “fingersmith” connotes a certain level of talent and experience. It sounds so professional – like there should be some sort of union or guild.

Amelie: "Tipping the Velvet" is a charming Victorian euphemism. The meaning is pretty clear but for those of you who don't quite get it, Urban Dictionary defines it as "when lesbians go down on each other." Even though Anne thinks "fingersmith" sounds professional, I think it sounds a little vulgar, and I think tipping the velvet adds an air of mystery and old-fashioned elegance.

NO WINNER. As we do with all unanswerable questions, we asked ChaCha. The response?
"Oral sex on a woman. Tipping=licking & Velvet=Clitoris, Fingersmith, team fingersmith because our fingers smelled of v-- often." No help there.

Hottest Ladies:

Amelie: I'm really not even going to try to argue for Tipping the Velvet here--I think Fingersmith wins this hands down. I can't get over Nan's voice enough to find her attractive, Diana will always just be Duckface from Four Weddings and a Funeral to me, and Flo just isn't my scene. And even though Kitty has enough of an Idgie Threadgood (Fried Green Tomatoes) to catch my interest, they ladies in Tipping the Velvet don't really do it for me.

Anne: No freakishly throaty voices, or terrifying stage makeup, just two hot ladies in pretty period dresses staring longingly at each other. WINNER.



Best Prop:

Anne: Okay, okay. Tipping the Velvet wins hands down. Maude’s weird obsession with her gloves doesn’t even begin to compete with that big old glory rod.

Amelie: An old-fashioned strap-on. Sometimes it is painted gold. End of argument. WINNER.

Final Results: TIE.

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Your Monday Upper: Whose Urine is This?

Mondays Suck. So every Monday TNG brings you a fun video to ease the pain.

Call me a curmudgeon (you won't be the first,) but I think that January 2nd is the most joyous day of the holiday season. It's when the forced merriment and treacly music and jam-packed schedules finally give way to real life again. However, this return to wintry normalcy also brings its own disappointments.

Kind of like the boy in the above SNL commercial parody. The holiday season has the charm and promise of a small child making his parents breakfast, but the period afterwards is as jarring as finding said parents in bed with some rouged-up bisexual stranger. Luckily, though, drunken pee threeways are a lot more interesting than even the world's best pancakes. They might be sloppier and they might be shocking, but they are always preferable to the staid and trite.

Happy new year, folks. And welcome back. We here at TNG enjoyed our two weeks off and are excited to return to you semi-rested and ready for 2009.

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An Open Letter to Barbara Walters

Dear Barbara,

Miley Cyrus? Really? If Miley, why not Zack Efron? Why not Audrina?

Sincerely,
Stephanie

Look below the fold to read Barabara's whole list of fascinating (er, crazy - Tom Cruise) people. Then, and the real reason I made this post, please comment with your own list of the ten most fascinating people. I'm not sure who would be in my list, but surely DC fave and TIME coverlady Michelle Rhee would make my top-three cut.

Barbara's list: Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Tom Cruise, Tina Fey, Will Smith, Frank Langella, Miley Cyrus, Thomas Beatie, Michael Phelps and Barack Obama.

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True Blood

I’m obsessed with True Blood, the new HBO series about the relationship between vampires and humans in a small rural Louisiana town. It was created by Alan Ball, the gay writer responsible for the show Six Feet Under and the film American Beauty. My television viewing is usually limited to news shows and educational programming, but I came across this show when searching ON DEMAND (the Comcast Cable service that allows you to watch a select number of shows at your convenience), and each episode I watch leaves me anxious to sink my teeth into the next one.

The plot revolves around the civil-rights struggle of vampires who are trying to assimilate into a society that at best maintains a position of separate but equal and at worst considers them minions of satan. While Ball mirrors the vampire struggle to the African-American experience, references to the homosexual experience are more overt. The sign “God Hates Fangs” appears in the opening credits, and phrases like “coming out of the coffin” (closet) and conversations among the cast that could easily be substitued for homophobia provide knowing winks from True Blood’s creator to his community. While watching Bill (Stephen Moyer), the male lead (vampire) struggle to “mainstream” amid a world that distrusts him and a community of vampires that has complicated and varied beliefs, it's easy to relate his story to that of our own oppressed minority.

Ball does a great job capturing small town Southern life. While he counts on his audience not knowing much about Louisiana, he nails enough of it to be commended for his deft touch. Considering the current culture war taking place between urban and rural America, the town of “Bon Temps” (Good Times) is a perfect setting to dramatize the social and cultural transitions taking place.

There is only one main character in the compelling cast who is gay, but this show is gay as hell. While the gay content has been limited to themes, vampires have often been thought synonymous with sex, particularly deviant sex, so I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before we see some man on man vampire action. The most notable (in my opinion) gay gift is the presence of Jason (Ryan Kwanten), the nymphomaniac brother of the show’s heroine, Sookie (Anna Paquin), who through the charity of Alan Ball is naked in each of the first four episodes of the show (photo below). Without a doubt he is now my favorite character on television.

True Blood airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on HBO

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If Lesbot TV Shows Could Kill

...then I'm pretty sure all lesbians who've watched the L Word (read: all lesbians) would be dead.

Is Jenny finally going to flip her crazy shits for real?

Watch the recently released "preview" and try not to be distracted by thoughts of how foolish the leztresses must have felt taping it.

Oh well - at least we know no one's killer looks are going to do too much damage to our favorite lady gay, Alice! Actually, I take that back, I wouldn't be surprised if Ilene Chaiken brought some les-urrection action into the craziness and insanity that has become the L Word.

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Brothers & Sisters: Something Good and Gay on TV

Television often has a very powerful affect on our culture – sometimes more so than anything our country’s political and legal systems can produce. Growing up, I remember when Ellen came out. I was too young to have been struggling with my own sexuality at that point, but I remember her having her own sitcom, and I remember seeing the “Yep, I’m Gay” Time magazine cover at the grocery store. I was in high school when Will & Grace became popular, and while I’ve always thought that the show focused too much on stereotypes, I would generally support the notion that the show made homosexuality a bit more mainstream.

Having heard good things, last winter I tuned in to watch ABC’s Brothers & Sisters. The hour-long family drama stars Sally Field as the mother of five adult children (Calista Flockhart among them). Unbeknownst to me before I started watching, one of the sons is gay. Even more surprising to me was how prominently this gay character factored into the show’s plot, and how un-stereotypical and refreshingly realistic the character is portrayed. Kevin, played by (straight) actor Matthew Rhys, is a successful lawyer, is hardly flamboyant, and while now in a committed relationship, had an active dating life beforehand.

Watching the show last season, I’ll admit to tearing up when Rhys’ character got married to his boyfriend. It was a bit sappy (and who doesn’t like a bit of that?), but profound in how “normal” it seemed. Living at home at the time, I tivoed the episode and made my mom watch it after I had. The episode aired shortly after I had come out to my parents, and was at a time when they were still very much grappling with how my being gay would change the future they had always pictured for me. Having my mom watch as two men became a family, while obviously fictional, was tremendously helpful. She wasn’t suddenly over the fact that I was gay, but I think it did give her an image of what my future could look like – something nice to fill the void that had previously been occupied by visions of my straight wedding.

After watching the wedding episode, I got a little curious. Who was writing this, and how were they so authentically capturing the gay experience? Which is how I stumbled upon Greg Berlanti… who, btw, is the hot guy featured in the adjoining picture (I totally have a crush on him). Berlanti, it turns out, who is himself gay, is no stranger to pushing the television envelope on behalf of gays. While writing for Dawson’s Creek (his first show), Berlanti successfully lobbied the WB to air what became television’s first gay kiss.

While much has changed since that episode of Dawson’s Creek, Berlanti attributes most of the progress to television itself. Speaking with AfterElton.com, Berlanti explained that “The executives are my age now [he’s 36] as opposed to 10 or 15 years older than me, and they've grown up in a post-Will & Grace world and a post-Six Feet Under world… And you can't live in a post-Six Feet Under world and tell mature, adult story lines without gay characters kissing where everyone else would kiss.” Which makes sense really… our generation (people under 40) is much more comfortable with gays and lesbians. And why? Because we’ve been exposed to gays and lesbians far more often, and in a far more positive light than previous generations (thanks largely to tv). And now, Berlanti is adding further to that progress.

In addition to producing Brothers & Sisters, Berlanti also produces Dirty Sexy Money and Eli Stone (starring a certain former Dawson’s Creek actress and famous Scientologist). Brothers & Sisters airs Sundays on ABC at 10pm.

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Your Monday Upper: Cute Man This, Great Big Kiss

Mondays suck. So every Monday TNG brings you a fun video to ease the pain.

Do you ever think to yourself "I want to have a a really fun night tonight," but you drink two martinis at dinner to make that happen and get too drunk to know if you really had fun or not? I never did that before this past Saturday, and now I know never to do that again. I made an ass of myself and my head still hurts. But I do believe I was being very friendly to many, many people... which has inspired me to post the Animaniacs international friendship song.

Did anyone else like this as much as I did when they were younger? It was probably stuck in my head for two years. Dare you to only listen once!

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Tonight: "Heroes" returns to NBC

Nathan and Peter Petrelli, main characters of Heroes, are brothers. But are they secretly more?

What's with gays and superheroes? Though I never read comics very much when I was little, I was fanatically devoted to the X-Men cartoon. Between when I grew out of such interests and about 4 months ago, I chalked this devotion up to a desire inherent in all 9 year-old boys to fly, shoot lasers from their hands and wear tight spandex singlets. (OK, maybe this desire was not inherent in all 9 year-old boys...) There was an undeniable element of escapism too. Growing up as an extremely dorky child, it was nice to think that if I did possess such abilities they would be a great way to show up all the popular assholes who were mean to me. (Popular asshole: "Hey, you're funny looking. Me: SONIC BOOM!")

But Heroes, NBC's superhero show, returns from hiatus tonight at and I'm just as excited as a 9 year-old. (And I know I mentioned this in my upper. If you've never repeated yourself you may throw the first stone.) I think there's a disproportionate number of gay comic book geeks out there. "Heroes" alone had one character that was about to come out before the producers became flaming cowards, a series of guest appearances from gay Star Trek star George Takei, and a highly questionable relationship between two brothers who may have read The Cement Garden one too many times. (see the video above.)

It's actually pretty obvious why the homos love the heroes so much. You have a group of people whose genetic makeup makes them outcasts from greater society, but who actually have extraordinary gifts and abilities that benefit the folks who shun them. Anyone who has been called a fag by someone in a Versace shirt should be familiar with this principle.

So these heroes usually band together in one or another family unit or underground society and take solace in being around others who are like them. Not to mention the obligatory "Why did I have to be born like this?" "You have no choice, now deal with it" dialogue that goes on in any situation where someone comes to terms with their powers.

X2 probably has the best example of this, in a scene where Iceman has to "come out" to his parents as a mutant and weathers some familiar questions, like "How long did you know? and "Maybe it's just a phase?" This clip is not on YouTube, but gay director Brian Singer can be thanked for its inclusion.

Where am I going with all this? I'm saying you should watch "Heroes" tonight if you're free. Yes, there are all the relevances that I brought up above. But really, there's a lot of hot men and women on that show running around in various states of undress. All the ladies out there can fight over who gets to kiss Nikki or Maya. Me, I'll just be dreaming a little dream of Sylar.

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A Love Letter to Gossip Girl; or, Why I Finally Understand Pop Culture

Until I went to graduate school, I was never much of a TV watcher. Anyone I’m remotely close to knows about my lack of pop culture knowledge, and growing up I was more apt to read about a show in TV Guide than actually watch it. (Case in point: Dawson’s Creek. I don’t think I ever actually watched an episode, but realized that if I couldn’t follow what people were talking about at school it would be a social detriment.) Many of my friends talk about the shows they watched in their youth that they want me to watch, but to be honest there are very few shows that I can actually get into. Arrested Development tops the list, and I also watch The L Word (obviously), The West Wing (when it was on), Mad Men and various Bravo series. And then baseball and politics whenever I get a chance, or when I visit my parents, who watch MSNBC and NESN exclusively.

But my television watching has reached fever pitch with Gossip Girl. While I initially dismissed the show last fall when my friends suggested I watch it, it wasn’t until I was in the Dominican Republic last winter that my college friends convinced me that the show had escapist qualities — the same desired escape that drove us all to spend four days laying on the beach, consuming pina coladas sun up till the next sun up. I was sold but waited until January, when I spent many empty hours waiting for gschool to begin again to start watching it. And I was hooked, immediately.

Gossip Girl may be nothing more than guilty pleasure. But the social critique of New York society places it as a modern-day Edith Wharton, or Henry James. The writing may not be brilliant, and Serena may not be May Welland, but it skewers perceptions of the rich to the point where you realize that underneath all the trappings, everyone is exactly the same. Some people simply have maids or private jets. And eternally stylish Edith would love the fashion and houses depicted in the show.

The fashion is something else entirely. While sardonic Vanessa, the Brooklynite, dresses like she is permanently trying to be ironic amidst her social betters, and Serena is too hippy-ish for me, Blair’s headband collection is enough to make me commit murder and her dresses achieve the perfect balance between preppy and classic, which is precisely what I aim for when I get dressed in the morning.

I’m also able to see something of myself in the character of Blair — though I don’t live in a mansion, and I’m not 17 (I remind myself that the actors are actually my age, which makes me feel better), I’m just as much of a ‘crazy bitch’ as Blair is. (No, I’m really not as nice as many of you think I am.) And her relationship with Chuck, the resident scoundrel, parallels several of my romantic entanglements (inability to discuss feelings, desire to hurt each other, etc.)

But I think the show gives me something that I never had before — a chance to fit in with my friends in a pop culture context. To be able to read the New York magazine recaps, to have friends over to watch it (or else discuss it via gchat/iChat with my college friends while sitting on the couch, MacBook on knees), and pick up allusions to the show that other people make in bars is an experience I’ve never had. I get obsessive or fanatical about things from time to time, but if the object of my obsession is media, it’s usually a book or movie — something that ends eventually. But Gossip Girl is a weekly fix, which allows me to indulge my obsession more often.

I’ve gotten less flak for my love of Gossip Girl than I have for say, my love of Garden State. I find secret Gossip Girl fans everywhere and have converted others. What amazes me is that so many well-educated twenty-somethings are just as fanatical as I am. I already know many of you are out there, reading this blog post, following the show with the same frenzy that I do and wondering why, if our lives must have the same problems, we can't also have the long perfect hair, the cravatted boyfriend, or the days of high school anymore, with the empty afternoons.

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L is for Loner

Meet my new costar.

So I’m probably the last dyke on the Planet (yes, the one run by Kit and maligned by Dawn Denbo) to hear that Ilene Chaiken is pitching an L Word spin-off that’ll pick up where the Season 6 finale leaves off, and follow the life of one of the main characters. The proposed series might not be picked up by Showtime, which means it’d most likely end up as an online-only broadcast. I’m pulling for the show to (like homo-rific Project Runway) get picked up by Lifetime, paving the way for some serious Nancy McKeon and Meredith Baxter-Birney cameos.

An upcoming Elizabeth Berkley (!) story-arc in final Season 6 has many speculating that Jennifer Beals a.k.a. Bette Porter will be the one to carry the L torch. Berkley shows up as Bette’s old college friend; I’m seriously hoping this leads to some sort of Flashdance vs. Showgirls exotic dance-off.

J. Beals was one of L Word's more seasoned (and arguably, better) actresses, she had the best panic-stricken face, ate a lion’s share of the plot’s shit sandwiches with aplomb, and put the D back in Dolce & Gabana power suits. But as much as I loved her character, I tend to think J. Beals is too classy to stay L-bound as an actress.

To me, all signs point to Shane as the spin-off’s likely focal point. Even though villains like Denbo or spazzes like Alice definitely kept the series fun, it’s fairly obvious that most people came for the choreographed finger-banging, to which Shane was a Baryshnikov of sorts. Unless Remorse becomes more than a lesbo cult fave, I imagine Kate Moennig will be available to get laced into some leatherette ensemble and make out with whatever Girls Gone Wild extras they’ve got on deck for the new series.

Personally, I’d love to see some sort of Desperate HouseDykes rip-off where the ghost of Dana Fairbanks narrates the lives of the more ne’er-do-well cast members. Or a series where real-life Leisha Hailey sits around with her designer girlfriend and talks about t-shirts, home gardening, and why everyone should move to Marfa, Texas.

Honestly, who knows what we can expect from Ilene Chaiken, the person who brought Betty to the small screen, and who takes the term self-promo-homo to new heights. Maybe we’ll wind up with “Papi’s Taxi Cab Confessions”? “The T Stands for Tokenism” starring Max? Or a Dexter-esque “Cannibal Schecter” featuring Jenny?

Who’s your vote for spin-off headmistress? Can we get a dyke version of Mrs. Garrett? Or are you already tired at the prospect of more L-ish programming?

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Your Monday Upper: The Entire Universe, Man.

Once, on a family car trip in 1991, my two older sisters insisted on playing They Might Be Giants' "Birdhouse in Your Soul" 400 times over the course of three days. Though my dad was one repetition away from Hara-Kiri, I developed a love for the goofy duo that persists to this day. This was only strengthened by their partnership with '90s kids show Tiny Tune Adventures, which produced the above video for "Particle Man" and the below clip for "Istanbul (Not Constantinople,) both of which feature Plucky Duck suffering through extraordinary abuses.

Although some would say that listening to TMBG is the biggest abuse of all, I get a big kick out of these. I especially enjoy Plucky's expression as he flees the stadium in "Particle Man." He looks like he saw his parents having sex.

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A Dream Come True for "Newsradio" Fans

The secret of management. Complaint box. Rocket fuel malt liquor. Does this mean anything to you? Then congratulations. You one of the few, the proud, the long-suffering: You watch Newsradio. My all-abiding love for the fictional WNYX and its eccentric crew has garnered me nothing but abuse in my 10+ years of fandom. I've found exactly three people, ever, that share my love. Their shotglass of validation does little to overwhelm the pony keg of derision heaped upon those who've proudly read "Jimmy James: Macho Business Donkey Wrestler."

But there's hope: The Onion AV Club just ran the first in a regular series of Newsradio recaps. Someone out there loves them as much as we do, and has decided to throw a Monday morning bone to his Bobba Fett-loving brethren. They've started with the pilot and plan to run through the whole series. This is totally gaziza.

And I doubt I'll convert any non-believers here, as this show can be polarizing, but Newsradio featured two prominent gay comedians in its main ensemble: Andy Dick played office spaz Matthew before his sense of humor went down the toilet, but many people don't know that Dave Foley is "family" too.

Addendum: A simple google search, prompted by TNG Michael, has just informed me that Dave Foley, is in fact, straight. I'm sorry for my oversight. Blame his constant cross-dressing on Kids in the Hall for the confusion.

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*CLICK*

This post was submitted by "CK".

Who else read Ben’s post on killing your television? He made some really good points. Yes, TV promotes a surplus amount of consumerism, stereotypes, and personal image distortion. It creates a culture of homogeneity (and not the good kind of “homo” either). But is the tube worth kicking?

I personally don’t have a cable at the moment, but TV has played essential roles in my life. Before I came out I used to watch Queer as Folk and Will and Grace, slowly inching closer to the sexuality I was about to reveal to my suspecting family. Brian Kinney (Queer as Folk’s main character for those unfamiliar) became an icon of unapologetic homosexuality for me. While he, as a character, would never use these words, he acted as if he was “here, queer, and the world had better deal with it.” That kind of confidence was empowering. I fell into the fantasy of a gay life that seemed to work, as if being gay was possible. At 16, and unexposed to the gay culture us TNG readers are familiar with, that was a revelation.

Simultaneously, gay shows on TV were just fantasies, and maybe not the best examples to follow in retrospect. Nevertheless, I still feel that television has the capability to empower, and even create communities of gay folk. In fact I think TV has been essential to forging and strengthening bonds especially in the gay community.

How? Well think about it: Homos exist in diaspora. The identifying factor of a gay person isn’t geographical, economic, or political. For myself, being gay isn’t about where I am, how much money I make, or who I’m voting for…it’s about dick. Now for some it may be about pudenda. For some it may be about combinations of the two, but in some way being gay is about sex and sexuality.

Now, sans those with voyeuristic preferences, sex tends to be private. I don’t know about other readers, but all my romping happens in the bedroom behind closed doors, and usually I remember to close the blinds too. So, if being gay is about sexual identities, and sexual practices tend to stay private, how do gay people find each other to create communities? Is there a gaydar switch that networks us into each other’s bedrooms that I’m missing, or is a different apparatus at work?

This is where TV comes in: it’s a connective device. In a community that can choose when to be stealth and when to show itself (via fitting gay stereotypes or not), other mechanisms of collection are essential to forming community. Gay people aren’t connected by the physicality of location. It’s not like being American, where living in America (with obvious exceptions) makes one an American. We’re connected by the culture we choose to create. In thinking about burying the boob tube, we might do well to consider the synergistic relationship between the culture of gay people, and the ways TV and gay programming influence that.

The constitutive elements of a person’s sense of belonging are inexorably tied to the kinds of media they consume, and gay people eat up TV. Programming like Project Runway, AbFab, Queer Eye, etc… have all played roles in creating points of collectivity amongst homos. Whether it’s a night time gathering to watch Queer as Folk, or a conversation about how great last night’s L-Word episode was, TV creates a point to bond over, and an excuse to talk about being gay. Talking about sexuality leads to ideas about sexuality, and those ideas are weeded through until the good ones surface into core components of a community.

Wrist flopping, men in capris, and the word “fetch” are not genetically inherited. Those stereotypes result from the formation of popularized culture. Now, I’m not saying that the promotion of stereotypes is good, or that the assimilationist images of gay people that a lot of TV projects are helpful, but you can’t deny that TV helps create points of similarity and community. Gay TV shows gay people what some of the cultural characteristics of the community are outside of the bedroom. While a lot of those promotions are exactly the kind of thing TNG tries to get away from when they say get “over the rainbow,” they are building blocks. Hey, it’s a start.

Gayopolis probably wouldn’t collapse if we all kicked the TV; gay bars, clubs, neighborhoods, and other locations are all places supplement the creation of gay culture. I certainly think TV helps in some ways though. Ok ok, part of this is because Randy Harrison (Justin on Queer as Folk) makes me hot. Despite that, TV represents an underutilized piece of infrastructure in the creation of gay culture. I’d write more, but LOGO is about to have a Queer Eye Marathon. Clicking on the tube and off the internet...

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American Experience: Walt Whitman

I have a very great appreciation for Walt Whitman — I will occasionally go around quoting "Song of Myself," I receive updates on Washington-area events via CyberWalt, and the above picture is frequently my desktop wallpaper. So, imagine my delight when I saw that PBS was showing an American Experience: Walt Whitman earlier this month.

I think part of my love for Whitman comes from the fact that his poetry reflects his sexuality, and he wrote it at a time when attaining publication for risque verse (and not being subsequently censored, which it was) was difficult, but he didn't care. Whitman's poetry is also transcendent: it is a reflection of the strife and turmoil of the 1860s, yet much of what he touches on is applicable for every generation.

For those who only know the poetry, American Experience is a wonderful way to learn about Whitman the man. And if you're a literary nerd like me, there is something strangely satisfying about seeing the Whitman critics who are featured on the show.

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