Letter from Poland: Negotiation of Gender Identity

Dariusz — a Polish TNG fan — shows us that some LGBT challenges are the same no matter where you go.

Many people think that being born male, white and middle-class is supposed to really simplify a lot of aspects of one's life. Especially while living in a very homogeneous country like Poland. I dare to object.

I write to you because I have to share something that really annoys me. But in order for you to understand it, I think a short bio of myself is necessary.

I'm at a stage in my life where I can surely say that I like all people from a sexual perspective: sex, gender, race, color - those features really mean nothing to me. I'm 21 years old, a student, a person, and a vegetarian. But in Poland, labeling oneself as bisexual means that you are either gay and closeted (according to straight people) or heterosexual and just want to be cool (according to gay people). And everyone thinks such a person just cannot be faithful.

Because of certain features I possess — long, dyed hair, wearing pink and violet, generally bright colored clothes — everyone is likely to tell me that I'm just gay. And here is where it all begins: I'm a victim of stereotyping and gendering, but also some silly norms.

I wish to say: just stop that already. In a straight, Polish reality, I should cut my hair short and start wearing black and blue, find myself a girlfriend and watch sports. I don't want to do that simply because I was born with a penis. Although I like that part of my body, it does not define me.

But if you go to so-called "gay places", you don't get different treatment. People are people and everyone stereotypes and genderizes. So Polish gay people just want to be "straight-acting", and judge you if you don't. Although I have never worn a dress in my whole life, they keep asking me whether I'm willing to change my sex or suggest I am a "tranny". Girls ask me about makeup stuff though I have no idea about it, and can't even name a single device they are using. Although I am not trans, I feel obliged to defend transvestites and transsexual people because I cannot really understand why they are being treated as different, when they really aren't. I don't wear "female" clothes because I just do not fancy them. If I did, I would wear them.

Then again, I find myself with a constant need to define myself. I have to negotiate my gender, my place in society, and — to put it simply — MYSELF, all the time. I am pretty much aware that although people say, "It's what you have inside that counts", that's not really true. It's whether you fit a stereotype or not. If you stay in Poland for a long period of time, this will strike you (allow me to generalize, too): about 3/4th of people will look nearly the same. Asked about their favorite stuff, they all will provide the same answer.

I'd love to somehow — I don't know how — be able to to tell people: "Stop genderizing so much! Why do you care about appearances so much? Why do you care about defining everybody and making them put concrete labels on themselves?"

I am not denying that I was born male, but everyone knows that this is easily changeable nowadays. Yet, I like my body the way it is. Just because I have certain male bodily features does not mean I can use a hammer or fix everything. Or that I like sports. Or that I cannot be a single parent. I can also cook. I don't believe in violence. I am a romantic. I'm going to keep my hair orange, and wear it long and curly, and still refuse to wear dresses, 'cause I ain't feeling female. I feel genderless. I feel myself.

So how and where can I start fighting for the abolishment of genderization? I heard that labels are supposed to make life easier. Well, only for those who cannot overcome them, because for me, they are only a nuisance, an obstacle I have to deal with all the time.

I know it's unreal to think that one day, people would stop looking at sex and gender and judging you by whom you sleep with. Or stop you from being with someone you love because you declared yourself either straight or gay. Or where thinking of yourself as bisexual wouldn't mean losing to society, norms, and the system.

I mean, why can't we let people just be themselves? I think people see me as a threat to their identity. And I don't give a damn about their identities. I'm okay with everything as long as they are okay with mine.

It terrifies me because I don't know whether there are countries, cities, or places where I could just be myself and still find happiness. Don't get me wrong though, I don't feel bad. I have a decent life, plenty of friends, some dating possibilities, and a shiny future. Still, with my point of view, I just feel I don't fit in. And everyone needs to belong somewhere.

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The Gender Deviant Shopper

TNG reader Randi submitted this piece.

As I, a biologically female-bodied person, sit here in a size XS, long sleeve, light blue thermal from the men’s section of The Gap, I wonder if people would consider this cross-dressing. The shirt fits my 113 lbs. frame perfectly. Either The Gap is really accommodating of smaller people, or they knew women were going to want to wear these shirts, too. So this brings up the question… why am I able to wear this shirt without encountering negative comments about cross-dressing? When I first bought the shirt I was hesitant to wear it knowing it was a “shirt for a man,” but eventually I said fuck it and wore it to school. No one said anything there. I made the mistake of wearing it in front of my mother, who in her 3rd generation, watered-down, Asian sensibility, immediately asked where it was from and how much it cost. The second mistake I made was starting off with: “It’s from the men’s section…” My mom stopped trying to put me in dresses at age 7 and knows that I prefer pants to skirts and sneakers to ballet flats, but she always hopes that I will someday be more of a “girlie girl.” She shouldn’t wait with bated breath.

Why is it that cross-dressing has the potential to provide women with opportunity, while cross-dressing for men is associated with shame or comedy? To be clear, I’m not talking about drag performance. I’m talking about everyday wear. Maybe it’s because men’s clothing looks more unisex than women’s clothing. A woman can get away with wearing men’s clothes more easily than vice versa. I venture that people would not have a totally adverse reaction to a woman wearing a man’s button down flannel or a necktie but would lose their shit over a man wearing a skirt or ballet flats.

Is it because women’s clothing is more (binary) gender specific? Not everyone looks good in pink, but I would guess that a lot of people think they look fine in blue. Society’s folkways have dictated “pink = girl” and “boy = blue” for so long that pink will never be equated with boy, no matter how hard Abercrombie and Fitch try to make it work. When I was an undergrad, I saw a guy wearing a shirt that had “Tough Guys Wear Pink” written on the front of it. The fact that the shirt comes with its own disclaimer is evidence that pink on a man might generate a few chuckles. Can we attribute this unequal appropriation of colored clothing to the idea that being associated with femininity is an assault on masculinity?

When am I going to find my way to the women’s section of the store? When am I going to stop being able to get away with looking like a 16-year-old emo boy? Am I wrong to even think of this as cross-dressing?

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Gender Blender

I've attempted to begin a new policy when filling out forms that ask me to state my "gender": I cross out the G-word and write in "sex" instead. Then I answer male.

Yes, it would work better if people didn't think I was just an adolescent who still thought the word sex was funny, and wanted to see it written on the page. And to be honest, it does make me think of Austin Powers answering the "sex" question on some paperwork with "yes, please." But I like the idea of rejecting the notion of gender as for a few years now I have felt strange identifying in that way.

I was talking with my thesis adviser in December about the terminology being used by the Lutheran church to describe gay couples. Some folks wanted to use the language "same-gender" instead of "same-sex," and my professor was opposed. The idea of gender, we agreed, simply carried with it too many ideas and associations outside of biological necessity. It assumed too much about an individual, and restricted the acceptable ways society suggested that they could express or identify themselves.

Of course, this is all just a bunch of academic bullshit if it doesn't mean something to someone. Lately I've been wondering if it means something to me - if I really have reason to reject a gender identity.

The interesting thing about being gay is that although we are attracted to members of our own sex, we are often looked at as the least acceptable members of that sex in terms of masculinity and femininity. It is somehow considered not masculine to be a gay man, and not feminine to be a gay woman. This is contrary to the logic that if I greatly appreciate the male form, don't show sexual interest in women, and sleep with men, I would be the most masculine type of person. (And similarly, a gay woman would be the most feminine.) But this isn't the case at all. Same-sex couples often have complex gender identities, and even if they don't - even if two of the bro-est guys on the earth are in a relationship - much of our culture would still define them as the antithesis of masculine because of their orientation.

And this has caused many gay people, who have struggled with their gender identity but don't want to mention it, to be on the defensive. I got in an argument awhile ago with a friend who said he was more "masculine" than I was, and realized just how touchy a subject this is for many gay folks. This same person told me later that he felt the need to "bro it up" with straight male friends, trying to be a better athlete than them, a fiercer competitor, more of a dude. For many gay men, the idea of appearing at all "feminine" is some kind of insult.

I have been tempted by this at times, too. And often I have found it easier to simply embrace the notions of masculine and male and gender at their face value, rather than to question them. It's not hard - I am attracted to men, especially the ones most people would identify as more "masculine." (Come to think, generally I am attracted to straight guys, but that's another story.) And I suppose that I like being a boy most of the time, and doing "guy stuff."

Deep down, though, I know that this is mostly bullshit. Most of what we think of as masculine and feminine, even male and female, is all a construction. I'm not saying it's an easy one to cast aside - in fact, the opposite is true - but I can see no evidence that most of our male/female standards are rooted in something biological, essential, or objective, rather than in culture, history, sexism, and fear.

Personally, when I have to identify with a gender, I feel a little piece of me slip away. I feel myself acquiring a lot of things that I am expected to be but am not, and losing a lot of things I want to hold on to but am told don't befit me. I feel myself silencing that part of my brain that I've always felt, since a young age, was somehow female. I like that little voice. She makes life interesting, and makes me who I am. And she's smarter than the male portion.

I'm not saying I'm a woman trapped in a man's body, or that my life is some kind of a gender-bender romcom. But maybe more of a gender blender - with a mix of traits and emotions and ideas that I don't feel add up to an easy catch-all identity like "male gender" or "female gender."

It would be a lot easier if we all fit into check boxes like that, call some things male and some female, some masculine and some feminine. But I'd rather wrestle with life and find my own answers. As Nietzsche said, "Isn't our need for knowledge precisely this need for the familiar, the will to uncover under everything strange, unusual, and questionable something that no longer disturbs us? Is it not the instinct of fear that bids us to know?" That's not the kind of knowledge I want.

And sure, Nietzche may have had a mental breakdown. But at least he was an interesting dude.

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Answers about the T

In this post, Alex, a transplant to Maryland from the Wild West, responds to Michael's recent posting "Questions about the T" and shares some personal responses to the questions raised about trans life and dating.

Does "trans" have a destination, or is it a life-long journey?

It depends on the person (actually, any answer "depends on the person", so just assume that caveat is there), but most people reach a point where their outward gender presentation isn't visibly in flux anymore. Some people transition and consider themselves no longer trans when they are done. For me personally, "trans" is a statement of my history as much as a current state of existence. I suppose I am still technically "in transition", as I am still experiencing some puberty-type effects from testosterone, and have surgery scheduled for later this year. However, I don't really think of myself as "in transition", since I live and pass full-time as a man.

Do same-sex-attracted trans folk start off as gay people and, while changing their gender identity, maintain their gay identity and change who they're attracted to?

Most trans people seem to continue to be attracted to the sex they were attracted to before transition (and so go from straight to gay, or vice versa). Second most common seems to be identifying as "bi" (physical sex can seem kind of trivial after transitioning, you know?). Some people, however, do change what sex they are attracted to, and this usually seems to happen with hormone therapy. I fall into the first (and second) category(s). I've always been mostly attracted to guys (and butch girls, butch girls are cute)

What about socializing? What community do trans-folk want to belong to? Do trans-men feel comfortable in straight "meat-markets" looking for potential sexual partners? (Does anyone, really?) Or do they find more success and understanding at lesbian venues? Wouldn't a trans-man dating a lesbian present identity issues for both parties involved?

Alright, this is a big mess. I'm going to halve it by only talking about trans-men, since that's the group I'm more familiar with, and even then I'm only going to be scratching the surface.

There's no easy "rule" for whether any given transman participates in the larger LGBT community. Part of it depends on the importance they place on stealth and passing. Hanging out with other gender outlaws increases the probability of someone noticing your "tells", and you run a risk of being mistaken for a butch lesbian. However, since trans issues are so much less well known than LGB issues, lots of trans people identified as some sort of queer before figuring out that being trans was an option.

There are many transmen who identified as lesbians before transitioning, and for some of them, that connection to the lesbian community remains very important to them. There are plenty of transman/lesbian couples, with varying degrees of success - there certainly can be identity issues, and relationships have ended because of them. Transmen who never identified as lesbians are unlikely to enter lesbian communities after transitioning to find dates.

Dating is often a huge issue for trans people, because the chances of rejection and the penalties for rejection are so high. Beyond that, many of us missed gender-appropriate socialization. For me, while I prefer the company of queers, the gay club scene makes me very uncomfortable (of course, besides being trans, I'm also a big geek, which doesn't help at all). The emphasis on sex makes me feel like I would be disqualified from participating. Al wrote a great 3-parter (Post 1, Post 2, Post 3) for TNG about trying to date as a gay transguy. One reason why I really like reading TNG is that you can hear other gay men expressing dissatisfaction with the gay "dating" (rofl) scene, which gives me some hope.

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Transgendered Children

Completely unrelated to my recent post "Questions on the T" and the subsequent discussion, a facebook acquaintence of mine recently posted an article to a group of people from The Atlantic entitled A Boy's Life. The article tells the story of transgendered children by following one little boy who, ever since he could speak, said that he was supposed to be a girl. Perhaps the most phenomenal part of this story is that the boy (pictured) has the support of his working-class family.

This article is actually really incredible and does a great job of portraying all of the issues that a parent has to deal with when raising a child who believes he was born in the wrong body.

One of the more interesting parts of this article is scientific research that it relays. First, there's the story of an infant boy who had his penis burned off in a circumcision accident. He was used in a horrible experiment where, through surgeries, hormones and socialization, he was raised as a girl. Guess what? The experiment failed. With tragic results. This story was the topic of the 2000 book As Nature Made Him which looks like an excellent read. This makes me think that gender is fixed in the brain before birth and is immutable.

Another interesting research result in the article describes a 1987 study wherein 44 "sissy boys" were followed for 15 years to chart their psycho-sexual development. The researcher had originally assumed that all of the boys, who played with dolls as well as played hide-the-penis "look ma I'm a girl", would turn out transgendered. In fact, only one of them did. But 3/4 of the 44 turned out to be gay. This study does more to link effeminate behaviors with sexual orientation than it does with gender, in my mind. However, those behaviors aren't necessarily directly correlated to orientation.

The most compelling thing reported on in the above article was this: doctors now can administer hormone blockers to transgendered children, basically delaying puberty until the child grows up and has a better ability to decide whether their self-gender-identity matches their chromosomal gender. Wow.

I'll freely admit that I was pretty sissy when I was a kid. I was horrible at sports and preferred playing in the woods with the girls while our brothers played little league baseball. While my brothers monopolized the television all year 'round with baseball, football and basketball, I spent time in the other room listening to the radio and tying bedsheets around my body into intricate saris that I'd show off to my mother. I always preferred helping my mother in the kitchen, inventing recipes for "apple cake" and "fritters" or trying to master my grandfather's chewy fudge recipe, all while my brothers were out back tossing the pig-skin. After I'd given up on sports, my mother enrolled me in a jazz dance class in 4th grade. Though I didn't like it enough to re-enroll for another year, I did decide to teach the routine to two girl friends in my neighborhood and we eventually put on a show in front of our parents and neighbors that included home-baked refreshments and a "gymnastics" routine. I even once tucked my pre-pubescent package between my legs and showed my mother, proudly proclaiming, "Look, mom, I'm a girl!"

But for all this girlie, sissy behavior, did I ever actually want to be a girl? I don't think so. And, especially once puberty hit, I quickly grew into a (gay) man who was comfortable in his body.

Perhaps I'm the lucky one. Perhaps ending up gay is a better fate than actually wanting to be the other gender, or feeling that you were born in the wrong body. Or perhaps the transfolk are luckier? Between hormones and surgery, many can easily integrate themselves into the majority straight culture, leaving behind the world of sexual deviance and focusing instead on a "medical condition" for which science and medicine can provide at least a semblance of a cure.

So, perhaps here is another question for the trans members of our community. How early did you know? And if you knew early enough and hormone blockers were available to you at the time, would you have taken them?

And to everyone who commented on my previous post, please read the article I'm describing here and share any new perspectives you may have in the comments.

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Tonight: Confronting Violence and Prison in Trans Communities

Before enjoying a cupcake at TNG's "First Birthday" Party tonight, work toward social justice by heading to Foundry Methodist Church to attend a community forum on trans and incarceration issues in the District. The Prisoner Correspondence Project, Sylvia Rivera Law Project, and the DC Trans Coalition are presenting this meeting, which will focus on strategy discussions and networking.

Details: Tonight (Thursday, October 16), Foundry Methodist Church, room B2, 1500 16th St. NW, 7-8:30 p.m.

Continue reading for more information snagged from the press release.

Confronting Violence and Prison in Trans Communities

The Prisoner Correspondence Project, Sylvia Rivera Law Project, and
the DC Trans Coalition invite you to join us for a meeting about
confronting violence and incarceration...

Thurs. Oct. 16th, 7:00 - 8:30 pm
Foundry Methodist Church, Room B2 * (near Dupont Circle)
1500 16th St NW, Washington DC

Snacks will be served! Some money will be available to help cover
transportation costs if needed!

Join us for a night of networking and strategy discussions. We'll
dialogue with a panel of representatives from local and regional
organizations to learn from each other's work providing accessible
healthcare, legal and other services to the trans community, and how
these community-led efforts are planting the seeds of a world free of
violence by providing concrete alternatives here and now.
Participating organizations include:

*Sylvia Rivera Law Project (NYC)
*Prisoner Correspondence Project
*DC Trans Coalition
*Different Avenues
*Critical Resistance D.C.
*And possibly more!

Then, let's brainstorm ways to work together toward our shared goals
of social, economic, sexual, racial and gender justice. How can we
actively support folks who are in or just getting out of prison? How
can we respond to poverty and violence in ways that don't rely on
policing or prison and that challenge racism, classism, sexism, ageism
and other kinds of oppression? Centering the experiences of those who
are most directly affected by State and interpersonal violence, what
might a world with safer communities and without prisons look like,
where we could express gender without fear, discrimination, harassment
or imprisonment?

For questions or to RSVP: dc.queer.trans.prisoner.support@gmail.com or
(202) 917-0446.

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Questions about the T

One of the reasons we started this site was to give people from all corners of the queer community a forum for getting to know one another better. We all learned a lot last week from the experiences and opinions shared in the comments on Ms. Cavanaugh's post about whether gay men and lesbians want to hang out with each other. Recently, a post by Jon that briefly mentioned the recent HRC dinner inspired a series of comments stating that we shouldn't support HRC and help them raise funds until they support including transgendered individuals in ENDA. These comments got me thinking about my relationship with trans-folk. Or lack there-of.

Do I support equal rights for all queers including transgendered people? Yes.

Do I understand the trans-experience? No.

Would I like to? Yes.

Do I know how to go about it? Not in the least.

One question I have about trans issues is this: does "trans" have a destination, or is it a life-long journey? "Trans" means "across, through, over, beyond" but do folks who transition ever arrive at the other side? Or once you begin your transition, are you always considered to be in transition even if there is no destination? It would be helpful for me to understand this. How can someone be so brave as to begin a journey with no destination? With no end in sight? To me, that's a very scary prospect.

The thing that makes trans issues so hard for me to wrap my brain around is that, really, the gender variable is completely different from the sexual orientation variable. They are like the X and Y axes on a high-school geometry graph. The value of one isn't necessarily correlated with the other. You can have trans-men who are attracted to men, and trans-women who identify as lesbian. Do same-sex-attracted trans folk start off as gay people and, while changing their gender identity, maintain their gay identity and change who they're attracted to?

What about socializing? What community do trans-folk want to belong to? Do trans-men feel comfortable in straight "meat-markets" looking for potential sexual partners? (Does anyone, really?) Or do they find more success and understanding at lesbian venues? Wouldn't a trans-man dating a lesbian present identity issues for both parties involved?

Perhaps the reason that the HRC is neglecting to support trans issues is because their core membership doesn't understand trans-folk and the type of support they need. I have only had a small series of interactions with trans people. Perhaps trans people need to be more visible and vocal about the rights they are striving to achieve? Or maybe that's antithetical to what they are trying to do: to simply gain acceptance for who they are without having to draw too much attention to what's going on underneath their clothes or their skin.

I, for one, would love to know more about trans-people and their issues. I would love to put some faces and names behind the T in GLBT: faces that many of the Ls and probably most of the Gs out there have never seen. I would love for us to have a trans contributor to TNG who can help bridge the divide between those of us who feel comfortable with the gender we're born into and those of us who don't.

I'm sure that someone out there may be offended by my lack of understanding of trans issues. But honestly, how can I learn about these issues if we can't have a dialog on this topic without getting pissed off? Please consider this my first humble step in getting to know more about the T.

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DCOH Meets Today; Trans Rights in Jeopardy

From Max of the D.C. Trans Coalition (DCTC)--

The DC Commission on Human Rights, the group responsible for proposing to gut important parts of the Human Rights Code, are having their regular meeting today Wednesday, September 10th, at 6pm. (9/11 meeting date on DCOH Web site is incorrect.)

While the proposal may not be on the agenda, we need to show the Commission and the OHR that until they agree to DROP these changes, they're going to keep hearing from the community. All supporters of the Coalition and the effort to oppose these changes are strongly encouraged to attend. Bring your friends! Tell everyone you know!

The meeting will be at 441 4th Street, Suite 570 North (Judiciary Square Metro). Call the Human Rights Commission's office at (202) 727-0656 for room location and additional information.

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Urgent: Trans Rights Under Attack in D.C.

The D.C. Office of Human Rights is up to some bad tricks, threatening to rewrite parts of the District's Human Rights Act in ways that would discriminate against trans and genderqueer individuals. On the table are proposals that disregard community action to make jails less abusive to trans people, giving the Department of Corrections carte blanche to process trans folks as they see fit, and attempts to take away the rule that single person bathrooms should say "restroom", and be available to all.

Anyone who fought hard (and won) the battle to change bathroom signs to restroom knows that we have the power to affect queer policy in D.C.--you also know that all that hard work shouldn't be for naught. Take a minute and sign the petition to strike down the OHR's transphobic agenda, even if you've sent an email to the Office of Human Rights already. If you want to take even more action, come to the next DC Trans Coalition meeting this Tuesday, July 29th from 7:20-9pm to find out how you can get involved.

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Queer & Trans July Fireswamp Show Recap

“What do all the blue-haired teenage lesbians listen to now that Ani Difranco is like singing about breastfeeding?” was how Bananz, a.k.a. Jailbird Thunderheart (pictured) opened her set at last night’s house show at the Fireswamp, part of the Queer & Trans July month-long line-up.

She followed with a set of fairly angry yet charming songs about dealing with cops, being silenced by whiteness, male identity, and other themes all beat out on guitar, tambourine, hands, and floorboards. I’m neither blue-haired nor teenaged, but I wager the kids would be alright with this. One of my favorite songs, “land lease law blues”, about her father’s experiences growing up a sharecropper in the 1950s American South, kind of reminded me of a Heaven, Hell or Houston-era Naysayer.

JbTh shared the backyard / living room stages with Emily Bate, Jake, Jubilee, and Dave End. Despite some pretty emo song themes, there were enough jokes, tuning fuck-ups, and positive mental attitudes to keep things breezy. I felt like I was back living in Austin, where everyone bands together against the sweltering summer heat and turns porches and backyards into amphitheatres, with dogs and urban gardens filling in for furniture.

Besides first time performances by Emily on ukulele and Jake on strum stick, I was also psyched to catch Amy and Brian of Jubilee right before they light out for their Pacific Northwest tour. Jubilee demo TK--look out for the song about her also queer brother. It’s I’ve got your back sentiments and “Fuck their expectations!” chorus always choke me up.

Finally, there was Dave End, down from South Freeport, Maine. End on body image obsession (“Phat Camp”):

“When I was growing up, all you saw on TV were people in spandex telling you to dance, now it’s stern-faced women in power suits pushing some pharmaceuticals. The pills are made of all that leftover spandex.” “If you’re falling off a cliff and I’m shirtless nearby, I will save your life,” he added re: the benefits of love handles.

About his recently deceased gay dog Sophie who made it easier to grow up in his super conservative household ("Thank You for Being a Friend"):

“The vet said she had an excess of testosterone; she would hump all the boy dogs and only eat the girl underwear from the laundry.” And, “This song contains a fair amount of dog nostalgia, so if that’s a trigger for you . . .”

I should’ve known End would be awesome when he sang “Fabulous Artistic Guys Get Overly Traumatized Sometimes” or “FAGGOTS: The Musical”--a song about street harassment. “Because,” he quipped, “You know what homophobes hate? Musicals!”

Way to go QT July and Fireswamp kids for putting together a sweet evening of homo jams, totally for free. Tonight, they’ll be showing Brother to Brother at the AqueerIam group house at 1361 Monroe St., NW.

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More On Trans Issues

This post was submitted by TNG reader Darby.

D.C. resident Patti Shaw says she was forced to wait for a court date in a jail cell with men because police had no procedure for changing her gender identity in their records. Shaw claims she was sexually assaulted while waiting.

In response to last week’s “A Lesson on Trans Inclusiveness in Marketing” and the comments that followed, here is some information about an upcoming protest event and changes to DC municipal regulations that will affect transgender people in the city as well as an effort by the Human Rights Campaign Commission to roll back some very positive regulations developed by the community a couple of years ago regarding trans people in various settings.

The DC Department of Corrections seems to think that running their jails with “safety, order and security” means compromising the safety and security of our community. We need to correct them! Join the DC Trans Coalition this Saturday from 1-3 p.m. to tell the Dept. of Corrections that they can't ignore our voices, our allies, and OUR need for safety and security within DC jails. Bring yourself, as many friends as you can, some righteous indignation and join the protest!

The Dept. of Corrections is located at 1923 Vermont Avenue NW (near 10th and U and the U Street Metro).

Want to help make signs this Thursday? Drop an e-mail to Max, meestertoth@gmail.com for directions to our sign-making party.

Also, the DCTC's campaign against the Department of Corrections was the focus of a very good article in the Metro Weekly that hit the newsstands this past Thursday.

As for the DC Human Rights Campaign Commission, you can contact them, Mayor Fenty, and the DC City Council to urge them to reject proposed changes to DC Municipal Regulations Chapter 8 Title 4, which will have a negative effect on transgender people in our city. Read the changes for yourself.

You can also check out these articles from Metro Weekly:

• Uncommon decency: Transgender women prepare to file lawsuit in response to treatment in D.C. jails


• Gender Confusion With few answers in gender mix-up case in D.C. jails, activists look for solutions
  

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Tonight: House Party to Support Basic Rights Montgomery

Local electronica superstar Bev Stanton, aka Arthur Loves Plastic, is spinning tonight to support Montgomery County's recently passed transgender anti-discrimination law. Apparently, there are those who are unhappy with the county's new protections, and those people would be the gay-hatin' Citizens for a Responsible Curriculum (whose name alone says bad news). They've got an inititiative on the ballot to rescind the law, passed unanimously last November. As the host's evite says, "This is the first time anyone has been faced with a vote on transgender protections. The costs of losing are too high and has national implications."

Details:
Location: The Fabulous Home of Robert Raben (near Union Station)
Washington, DC 20002
When: Thursday, July 17, 6:00PM

Come enjoy music, fun, and a great cause! Basic Rights Montgomery is a broad-based coalition of community leaders and organizations formed in response to the efforts to repeal Montgomery County's recently passed transgender anti-discrimination law.

• Party Evite
• CRC - Stop Transgender Bill
• Arthur Loves Plastic MySpace

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A Lesson on Trans Inclusiveness in Marketing

Or, "The Problems of BeBar's Be:XX Marketing Effort", submitted by Tina T.


Before I go into the critique of BeBar's marketing of their new women's night/"DCs New Alterna-Queer Dance Party for Everyone", I feel I need to define exactly what is a queer identified trans person, as there is some confusion about this. A queer identified trans person is not a person who identifies as queer (that is, not straight). This includes trans people who are out with regards to their trans status. The alternative queer community often provides trans people a safe haven in general, but queer identity, with regards to transsexuals, is tied closely to orientation. Many (if not most) trans people identify as queer, in that they identify with either having no sexual preference, are bisexual, or are gay or lesbian. For example, a queer identified trans man will often identify as a gay male, while a queer identified trans woman will often identify as lesbian or queer.

Many places have tried their hands at providing spaces for an alternative queer community in DC, however, sometimes without quite understanding the sensitivities with regards to trans people. One needs to look no further then the original marketing for BeBar's Wednesday night Be:XX event to see this. The original marketing effort described that the event was designed for any person born with an XX gene, basically using chromosomes as a standard. The problem is that, while it explicitly included trans men, it also explicitly excluded the queer trans women who are also part of the lesbian community in DC.

The marketing effort was generally disrespectful of both men and women who transitioned, and failed to grasp the nature of trans inclusiveness that has evolved within the queer women's community. Basically there was a lack of understanding with regards to the history of exclusion of queer identified trans women from lesbian spaces. By tying chromosomes with gender and inclusion, this effectively became dismissive of queer trans women's identities both in terms of gender and sexual orientation. This is a point of sensitivity for trans women. A big part of the alternative queer movement was to push for greater inclusiveness for queer identified trans people, but especially trans women who have long faced hostility and discrimination within the queer community. While marketing an alternative queer women's night is acceptable, marketing such a night in a way that explicitly and implicitly excluded trans women was disrespectful.

In addition to offending queer-identified trans women, it was also offensive to many trans men I know as well, and for very good reason. The identification of trans men with their genetic makeup is rather insulting and dismissive of their male identities. This is especially true for trans guys who identify as gay males. While some trans men do keep close ties to the lesbian community, most trans guys transition out of the community or were never part of that community to begin with. Most trans men, once transitioned, move into male spaces, either gay male spaces or straight spaces depending on how they identify. The problem is that the marketing of Be:XX attempts to include trans guys under the assumption that most guys who transition remain in lesbian spaces, when in fact this is not the case. Men who would like to be considered as such and not identified with their chromosomes in marketing efforts.

The entire marketing effort was out of touch and dismissive of trans people's identities. It came off as essentialist with using chromosomal characteristics, which in essence disrespects trans people's identities as men or women. As stated in an earlier comment on the title and marketing, genes do not make up ones gender.

Eventually, BeBar kept with the original name, Be:XX, but dropped the marketing message for one that was more expansive and that stressed inclusion. Many individuals who were actively involved, including active members of the DC Kings and Gurly Show, expressed their concern with the original marketing effort. I give credit to BeBar to offering a Wednesday night home for the DC Kings and Gurly Show after Chaos closed. I regularly attend the event on Wednesday night, even before they made changes to the marketing; I try not to let the marketing get in the way of spending time with my friends, and I am not one for boycotts. I also see the whole marketing disaster as one based in ignorance rather than hostility, one in which the person designing the marketing did not fully understand issues of inclusiveness within the lesbian and trans community. But my trans-guy friend is still rather insulted by the title of the event and my personal word of advice to BeBar is to change it immediately.

The alternative queer community formed in many cities as a way to avoid the practice of excluding queer people who did not fit easily into the mainstream gay and lesbian pigeonholes. I wish I could say there is a solid scene here in DC like there is in many other big cities, but there is not. For the most part there is a group of people here in DC pushing for a larger community because there is a sense of disappointment with regards to what DC is offering. This includes people like myself who grew up in an alternative queer community, because it was a safe space for me before transition and did allow for greater degree of expression. However, if bars and clubs in DC are going to cater to this growing community, it has to realize that the mistake BeBar made should not be repeated. All queer identified trans people should feel welcome in queer spaces in general, especially with regards to spaces associated with their identified gender. DC bars and clubs should avoid the divisiveness of trans exclusionary practices of the past and respect people's identities, whether it is in marketing or practice.


(A somewhat related side note: Phase 1 has one of the most informed and respectful policies with regards to the trans inclusiveness issue. The lesbian bar lets in trans women and trans men need an escort. Basically, they keep the bar a women's space while simultaneously respecting individuals identities. They are known to let trans men they know in without an escort, but most trans guys I know who have transitioned have to go in with an escort. Phase 1 does not market their inclusive practices, because respect for an individual's identity does not need to be marketed.)

Be:XX happens every Wednesday night at BeBar, 1318 9th Street NW.

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This Month: Queer and Trans July

It's no secret that finding non-bar gay events in this city can be frustrating. Hell, it's half the reason this site exists. So I was excited to discover that the organization QT ATAC (Queer + Transfolk Acting Together Against Capitalism) is hosting "Queer and Trans July," a month of nightly events "celebrating our identities, our communities, and our resistance to oppression... all focused on what it means to be queer and/or trans."

The full event list can be found at the hyperlink above, though some immediate highlights include an interesting-sounding lecture called "Queerness and Madness" on the 24th and a screening of Cheryl Dunye's "The Watermelon Woman" on the 28th.

And just to open some cans of worms: "Selling Queerness," a lecture on the 8th, is subtitled "Discussion on how mainstream culture is selling queer identity, and why a critique of capitalism is important to our lives." To what extent do you believe that this is true? Also, what are everyones opinions on queer and trans being separate identities?

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Inequality for Transgender Americans

Yet another post submitted by Regan Worthington.

Trans-woman Duanna Johnson was beaten by police officers for refusing to respond to derogatory names.

Even with all the talk about same-sex marriage, it’s easy to miss the fact that transgender Americans continue to face discrimination every day. And not just when it comes to getting married.

Antonio Blount and Justine McCain from Norfolk got a marriage license at the local courthouse in March, and now potentially face misdemeanor criminal charges because officials discovered that Justine is actually a trans woman whose real name is Justin. The ensuing debate about whether marriages that involve transgender people are valid or are actually same-sex marriages (and therefore criminal) highlights the difficulty states are having applying the laws to transgender individuals.

Some states recognize transgender marriages, or will change the gender on birth certificates and drivers licenses for people who have undergone gender reassignment surgery, while others won’t. It will be interesting to see if and how the changes in same-sex marriage impact that discussion.

This, of course, is merely a follow up to the February beating of a transwoman by a Memphis police officer in a police station after she refused to follow his directions. Why? Because when he ordered her to get up, the cop called her “faggot” and “he she.” The tape is pretty horrific, and shows him hitting her and spraying her with mace even though she is unarmed and sitting down. When she finally stood up and took a swing at him, more cops and a nurse showed up to check on the police officer.

And people wonder why I get upset when HRC backs an ENDA without covering transgender citizens.

The rhetoric used in these articles is interesting because it recognizes the fluidity of gender even as it attempts to capture it into a legal concept – what gender are you legally as opposed to how you self-identify. This kind of compartmentalized thinking ignores the fact that gender – like sexual orientation and even race – can be fluid concepts that change over time and can’t always be categorized.

Why is our society so nuts about fitting everyone into little pigeon holes with neat labels? Why can’t we be more like…Albania? The New York Times ran a pretty cool article a while back about women in Albania taking a vow of chastity and “becoming men” when there were no men to protect the family. Sure, it’s based on a patriarchy and the inherent inferiority of women, but it still shows that even patriarchal societies have some gender-bending tendencies.

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Tonight: Trans Hamlet in the Park

This above all — to thine ownself be true
Tonight and through June 1, catch Zorf (aka Jeffrey Carlson, above) out of All My Children and onto the Carter Barron Ampitheater stage as Hamlet. It'll be a beautiful night to spend in the great outdoors with The Shakespeare Theatre Company, contemplating love, death, betrayal, and the masterful language of the master poet himself. Bring a picnic and a respectfully concealed beverage of your choice to the park at 16th and Colorado.

Deets:
Hamlet
by William Shakespeare
directed by Alexander Burns
May 22 - June 1, 2008 at 7:30pm
Carter Barron Amphitheatre

FREE. Pick up same day tickets at the Carter Barron Amphitheatre beginning at noon.

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Hot Homo Song Alert: Athens Boys Choir "Fagette"

TNG just received the latest video from Athens Boys Choir. This one-trans-man act takes DIY hip-hop to the next level, including gender-fucking-yet-educational lyrics, 80s synths and a video shot in a set made from astroturf. A self-defined "fagette", Athens Boys Choir humorously spells out (literally) in this video the same issues that Al discussed in his three posts earlier this month. For example, "I got a V-to-the-A-G-I-N-A, but got no P-E-N-I-S en-vay". Great song and great video. Definitely worth the 3 minutes of your life.

Thanks to Ali Cotterill of Astro Films for the tip.

More Athens Boys Choir videos below the fold.

WaHo (Waffle House)



I Like You But I Love Your Jazz Hands


Trannie Got Packed (Live)

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Urgent: Very Bad Man Appointed to Revise DSM-V

This man would take your dolls away.

Dr. Kenneth Zucker, whose specialty is fixing girly boys and tomboys, has been named by the American Psychiatric Association to write the new revision of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, the standard used to diagnose and treat mental illness. Zucker is a practitioner and proponent of conversion therapy (read: ex-gay) for what are known in the lingo as gender variant kids. Gays and the DSM have long been at odds, and it's only been since 1974 that plain old homosexuality was removed from the manual. With Zucker and his self-appointed mentor, trans-enemy Dr. Ray Blanchard, at the helm, we can expect, at the least, the recommendation of reparative therapy for "treating" transsexuals and those who might become transsexuals (weird kids). But Mercedes Allen at The Bilerico argues that the fallout could be further reaching:

An additional danger that gay and lesbian communities need to be cognizant of is that if Zucker and company entrench conversion therapy in the DSM-V, then it is a clear, dangerous step toward also legitimizing ex-gay therapy and re-stigmatizing homosexuality.

A two-part NPR series by Alix Spiegel examines Zucker's views and methods: Two Families Grapple with Sons' Gender Preferences: Psychologists Take Radically Different Approaches in Therapy. One concerned family takes their boy-who-acts-like-a-girl to Zucker, "whose treatment aims to help kids feel comfortable with their biological sex," and another takes theirs to Dr. Diane Ehrensaft, "whose approach is to allow the children to live as the gender with which they most closely identify at the time."

How many of us would've ended up in conversion therapy for gender identity issues if playing with the wrong toys and wearing the wrong clothes could land you with the likes of Zucker? My own peacenik parents refused to buy me the toy I wanted more than anything, a gun, naturally, and so I substitued any phallus-shaped object (wax bananas!) or resorted to building weapons out of Legos. It's a slippery slope of bullshit when we're talking about diagnosing and treating children for mental illness because they're not acting like the supposed right gender.

Trans people, whose very existence is still classified as an illness by the DSM (Gender Identity Disorder) are pushing to get the larger GLBT community involved in stopping the APA from going through with this idiotic appointment. However, I haven't been able to find any action going on, besides signing a petition. If anyone has more information please add it to the Comments section.

More:

• A good analysis of the NPR piece at The Bilerico Project: More on Dr. Kenneth Zucker, by Alex Blaze.


• Supporting Boys or Girls When the Line Isn't Clear, NYT


• Parents Consider Treatment to Delay Son's Puberty: New Therapy Would Buy Time to Resolve Gender Crisis, NPR.


• Q&A: Therapists on Gender Identity Issues in Kids, NPR.

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Film Screening: Transparent

Years before the pregnant man hysteria was blowing up the checkout aisle or polarizing debates with seemingly progressive friends, Jules Rosskam made Transparent, a documentary film that follows the lives of about twenty transmen who gave birth to their own children either prior to transitioning, or in midst.

The film will have you weepier than a Rosie Cruise doc, and deeply explores how queer families renegotiate parental roles, particularly for these trans parents who are both mother and father to their children.

After the hour-long film screens, the folks from DCATS will run a panel discussion with area trans men that've given birth.

Do it: This Sunday, May 18th, 5-7 p.m. at 1810 14th St. NW.

Bonus: Jules Rosskam is calling for submissions to his queer film fest.

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On Manscaping, Manhunt and More (or How to Be a Fag in Three Not-So-Easy Lessons) Part III

This post is the third in a three part series that was submitted by Al, who is a queer transman and fed up observer of local gay culture. Read the first two posts here.

Once in a rare while a seemingly decent guy did make it through to actually communicating with me more than once. At this point it should have been easy, breezy, beautiful, cover girl, n’est pas? Not so fast. Being trans may be ok with some guys, and they may have accepted my lack of gym bunny physique, but what of the other ways in which I don’t measure up? A new group of truths to disclose felt like a heavy burden.

Let’s begin by examining the average profile of one of my manhunt admirers in order to illuminate our differences. Sample: “discreet, straight-acting, masculine guy seeks same for NSA fun...” I don’t know how a guy goes about acting straight other than by fucking women, and does that really disqualify someone as queer? Wait, these guys aren’t queer, they’re gay.

The word “masculine” is another item I take to task. It is used often and I haven’t yet determined how it differs from “straight-acting.” The issue is that regardless of semantics, I am far from straight acting and not uber masculine. I can be one flaming, queeny, effeminate kind of faggot. I have been known to sashay as opposed to walk, use my limp wrist to point out quality couture in passing, and yes, I have a Hello Kitty collection (and a damned impressive one to boot). Testosterone may have lowered my voice, but I am never mistaken for straight on the phone and if you met me in person you wouldn’t need to hear that lilt as my wardrobe, complete with junior-sized girls short-shorts and tight graphic tees in my favorite color, pink, would hit you first, bitches! This is a tough one as effeminacy can be mistaken for femininity with someone who was assigned female at birth.

The aforementioned traits are in no way an indication that I’m lousy at being ftm. As if being told I’m not trans enough by other ftms for this very reason isn’t enough, I get girlified by cisfags too. Funny, I wasn’t aware that I had entered a gender contest. I only hope there’s a tiara for the winner.

A different portion of these profiles could be termed “fantasyland.” No, we’re not in Disney World and I’m not referencing fantasy football either (obviously.) I’m talking about the second line of our sample profile “in shape-gym 5x a week, you be too. 8” cut. Smooth...” Just being online and trusting that these pictures are actually of the people posting requires the suspension of disbelief, but really now, I’m supposed to believe all this? The only reason these Calvin Clones go to the gym that much, if that is true, is to get action in the steam room. Provided this is a good way to burn off calories, but it’s not going to get you in shape for the next gay games (unless they’ve added watersports). I go to my gym regularly, but really, who has that much time? Between working out and getting waxed these guys must be exhausted. Your supposed 8” aren’t going to mean a thing when you’re too tired to rise to the occasion.

Page upon page of snooty, PNP power-bottoms with mug shots of their bleached ass holes (do their mothers know those are out there for the world to see?) have left me lusting for a new site. In fact, I’d like to launch realqueerguyhunt.com, your one-stop shopping spot for real, decent guys who don’t use fake tanner, don’t go to gyms that necessitated getting a personal trainer to get in shape enough to join in the first place, and who don’t suffer from factitious disorder. And no, this site isn’t sponsored by Absolut Vodka. I’m calling all you queer guys who only have a two-pack, you scrawny emo guys who wear skinny jeans (you know you’re my faves), you truly radical and progressive types who fight against HRC assimilationists and their sterilized version of liberalism, you guys who know safer sex can be hot, you guys who listen to Tegan and Sarah, and of course you guys who don’t think what’s under my clothes makes me a girl. I know you’re out there and I bet you feel as insecure as I do in certain gay spaces.

I have a penchant for dramatic retellings, naturally, but I have met some good guys and do feel like a part of something. I was thrilled when my fag co-workers starting referring to me the way they do each other. For instance, when someone addresses the entire group they say “ladies” and if someone likes your shirt they compliment your lovely “blouse.” Ok, so some refer to their own junk as pussies, but refrain from using that term when it comes to me; discretion is a good thing. You see, faggotry isn’t simply the act of lusting after and loving other guys. It is a culture like any other whose particulars must be absorbed through various measures. This culture comes complete with its own foods (did you remember to pick up some cous cous at the Whole foods?); costumes (where did I put that Ben Sherman track jacket?) and customs (use your imagination). All cultures also have diversity; in this case I may need to search far beyond the city limits to find it.

So what would my profile on the new site read? How about this:
Headline: wicked smart, effeminate boy who used to be a girl seeks actual dates!

5’3, kinda muscular and slim, but sporting a little belly pooch. Will shave shoulders for second date. Interests: vegan baking, contemporary art, fashion, and collecting vintage Hello Kitty stationary. DDF, you be too. No BB or PNP. Post-graduate work a plus, but not required. Non-monogamy is ok, but cheating on your bf isn’t. Alternative, punk, artsy and emo guys will be given preference, as will genuine sweethearts. Interested? Email me.

*face pic required

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