Thoughts From An Old Guy
This post was submitted by Top60, an older gay man who still uses his lightsaber.
Young people in body or mind do not have a corner on being inquisitive. At 60 I have questions on the evolution of our tribe that are both current but also reflective (the only advantage of age I can think of). I am old enough to have lived through the adoption of the term ‘gay’. Where did it ever come from? There was nothing gay about the coming out experience or in leading a life like a salmon attempting to swim upstream against the rest of humanity. That’s why I like the site because it attempts to create a forum for redefining ourselves by recognizing the vast changes that are occurring daily. Only in dialog do changes take seed. Not only do I have beliefs, I have questions!
Why do we still use the terms “gay” and “lesbian?” Are lesbians not gay? Also, if they are from Lesbos then we are from Andros, so why aren’t we Androsians? They have menopause – we have andropause – proof enough!
Shouldn’t the whole transgender/transsexual/two-spirited (three-sided) crowd go off and form their own group? We don’t seem to share the same issues. Our actions seem to be nothing more than an attempt by our notoriously soft hearts to be inclusive.
We need to cut the Lesbians some slack. The older I get the less scary they become. I actually wanted dykes on bikes to lead off the Rose Bowl parade this year but Pasadena has a tight sphincter problem. Lesbians contribute more to our advocacy that most people know. Study Stonewall and you will see that they were removing the dental work of the cops while the rest of us were hiding under tables in bars. Also, remember the twink who saved Holland by sticking his finger in the dyke? Who can say which of the two contributed more to the salvation of our beloved Amsterdam?
Age and experience has made one thing clear: Over the years ALL women are becoming more masculine and ALL men are becoming more feminine. All you Jungians will be apoplectic with joy when the two meet in the middle as he projected (however I suppose it will be short-lived due to a dramatic drop in the birth rate).
I like the new technology – much better for gays. Jacking-off is a hell of a lot more convenient in front of a laptop (cute name) than when balancing a pair of binoculars and holding the blinds apart at the same time.
I like how the “new gay” seems less discriminatory against we old folk. Just because I’m older doesn’t mean that when a hot guy gives me the eye (and I can ignore the fact that he senses a sugar-daddy on the horizon) that I don’t drop faster than a Marine. You can use your imagination on that visual any way you want.
Does a “new gay” see the age of someone as a liability, or is that conception now blurred when compared to years past? Are “daddies”, “mommas”, and “twinks” etc. going to be the terms of the future or should it go away along with “GAY”? Maybe it is time to stop defining ourselves by a self-imposed closet name. This is a message similar to what Senator Obama and Bill Cosby have been sending to African-Americans. We are not defined by our identity labels but by the way we behave and care for each other.
Maybe I will have more later but at my age I need to have my nap now.
12 comments:
I must say I find it quite frustrating that other than enjoying less age discrimination (convenient in your advanced years) there seems to be nothing particularly "new" or progressive about your post. Not only because, as a progressive, I would hope others agree with me, but also because your age should have given you a more nuanced history of the gay movement.
Take, for instance, Stonewall. It is true that Lesbians were present and participated in the riots, but you seem to have forgotten the drag queens leading the fight, and the very reason for the raid in the first place.
In 1969, New York law compelled everyone in the city to wear at least two items of gender appropriate clothing in public. It was common practice for the police to use this law as the justification for raiding gay bars and harassing their patrons. The Stonewall was often exempted from this (owned by the mob at the time) and thus a haven for some of the gay community's most effeminate members. On June 27, however, even the Stonewall couldn't avoid harassment (citywide crackdowns that had already led to a lot of police brutality).
As the police took control of the bar and released patrons one by one (most receiving citations) it was the chanting and taunting of drag queens - the patrons of Stonewall Inn - that launched the riots and the modern gay era. (See "Stonewall" by Martin Duberman for more, it's a great book.) It is on the shoulders of the "transgender/transsexual/two spirited" community that the gay rights movement stands, and to which we will forever be indebted.
But, even forgetting that sticky little point for a moment, lets consider gender expression. Throughout history gay "acts" have existed, it's the gay identity that's so new. And regardless of how we choose to define that identity ourselves, it is primarily the language of gender expression that the dominant culture (straight world) has used to oppress us - gay men are "effeminate" and lesbians "butch." The transgression of queers (my preferred term) is not only same-sex acts, but that in embracing a new identity they challenge gender roles.
This is why the queer community has historically (and I would say rightfully) included us all. At heart is our right to self expression. For some, that might mean sexual reassignment surgery. For others, it's the right for their family to have two mommies. And it even includes one's right to never get married, find emotional support from friends, and live in open relationships. What the gay and trans communities share is that, in every case, we're fighting to lead our lives in ways other than what society has proscribed to us by our sex at birth.
And this plays out in practical, not just theoretical, arenas, too. Take, for example, ENDA. Without protections for gender expression (without being trans inclusive) what a homosexual "is" is becomes much less certain. Maybe you won't be fired for having butt sex or practicing cunnilingus, but because your voice is too high. Or your haircut is too girly. Or you don't wear enough skirts and high heels and makeup. It will be nearly impossible to prove you were fired for what you do in bed and not because you act like less than a man in the office. Especially when society at large ALREADY assumes that to be the case.
So, whether in the historical, theoretical, or practical frames of mind, being trans inclusive isn't really an option, it's necessary. Our lots are tied and without the T this movement wouldn't be much of anywhere.
Very true, they're not. In 1969, however, the lines weren't nearly as clear as they are now and a trans identity hadn't been that defined. All homosexuals were considered "gender dysphoric" and the queer community didn't have the distinctions between men-in-dresses and transgender/transsexual people.
You should repackage this and submit it as a post. Interesting. More, please.
I'm also curious about what he means by the two groups not sharing the same issues. It could be that he didn't go into enough detail about what he meant.
oh god not this again. it seems so much of the new gay readership goes through their lives poised to deliver exhausting diatribes like ryan's here. it's not that i don't mostly know what he's saying, but sheesh. it reminds me of why i drifted off from all those hippy dykes i used to roll with back in vancouver. must we, at length, "correct" all those opinions we don't agree with whenever they're voiced?
Should I instead not voice my opinion? I sort of thought the whole point of a blog like this was to have discussion...
anyone who's met me knows that i'm not shy about my, or anyone else's opinions, but this is the comments section on a fucking blog! comments are best when they're snarky and succinct. keep 'em brief ladies.
I couldn't agree with you more, adam isn't here...no where on this blog does it say "Ryan's blog". If you're so obsessed with correcting your feelings for trannie freaks, make your own blog. Blogs shouldn't be public forums, rather, they serve as journalistic expressions of lay people to say what they want and for people like Adam and I to comment when we concur or simply say "that ain't right", so the next time you want to go off on another exhausting diatribe, no one's like going to read it because all we really want is the original comment posting that some anonymous old guy sent to TNG because he didn't realize he could have posted a comment, too, but it's totally legitimate now because it's been posted by the owner of the blog.
Also, if we're so interested in finding out all these "findings" to the contrary in your diatribe, we'll just like look them up ourselves. We don't have to learn anything from you that we can't learn from the blog owners and we can easily assess what is and what isn't true by snarky and succinct comments that are the barometer of the people.
Sorry for going on so long Adam, I know you'll totally hate me for it but someone had to say it. Now, can we just got back to superior (and totally awesome) bitchy one liners, lady?
Actually, our blog is a public forum. So keep those comments coming, long as you want. And keep the arguments coming too.Its music to our ears.
You can comment however you want, Ryan. I understand what the others are saying, though. If it's a long one, I think its better to just make an argument and submit it as a post, even if you are responding to someone else's idea. Peeps are more likely to read it that way.
It kind of IS "Ryan's blog". But it's also "Adam isn't here's" blog too. Sorry to keep beating a dead horse, but anyone can post stuff here as long as it's fairly well written.
As the author of the original post, my response to Ryan is to somehow get him to untangle his terms whether it be lesbian with transgender with drag queens etc. Most drag queens consider themselves performers and despise generic sexual classifications of them ( a vast percentage of whom are straight anyway!)I should know as I just finished filming a motion picture on the history of the drag culture involving over 70 interviews. We probably would agree that they contributed in a major way to society by originating political satire and saying over many years what no one else could get away with. I would hope the "new gay" no longer lumps drag queens into sexual stereotypes or categories of any kind!
Haha, thanks Zack and Ben. But don't worry, that was just snarky self martyrdom. I don't intend to stop posting long winded comments just because AIH can't read more than 100 words in a sitting.
But yes, if I plan on being so loquacious in the future I'll email it for submission mayhaps.
oh, and in response to 60, if you'll see my comment above, the time period in which we're discussing the difference between "drag queen" and "transgender" is pretty important.
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