Thoughts on Olympics

Blogging from his couch, Ben realizes that his chances of a Bronze Medal are slim to none.

The opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics was jaw dropping—15,000 Chinese (no repeat performers) in a four-hour event (U.S. audiences saw only a portion) that incorporated stunning visuals and breathtaking choreography. Thousands of performers moved at a time and hit unlabeled marks with electronic precision. At one point 2,000 tai chi masters ran between each other in tight formation, at top speed, and none of them hit each other.

I'm amazed by the efficiency and precision of the production, and I can't imagine that the USA could ever match it (labor cost) nor replicate such collective cohesion (did you see the last superbowl halftime show?). I’m also chilled when I think of the massive Chinese population, and how the birthrate of Chinese males to females is 3:1. Doing the math in my head, here's the equation I get if I factor in a faltering Chinese economy:

highly controlled, efficient, collective society/too many young men+not enough pussy+not enough jobs=government goes to war.

Would you want to f*** with these people? Relax, I'm kidding. Kind of.

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While walking home from work, I saw a cover of USA Today featuring a photo of Michael Phelps. The headline was “Can Anyone Top Michael Phelps?” I bet Aquaman could.

I wonder if Michael Phelps has ever had sex in the ocean. The pool is a sure bet, but I can't say I've ever met anyone who got it on at sea. I remember seeing him in a print advertisement where he’s a merman surrounded by mermaids, and thinking that this guy is seriously obsessed with being a man fish, so I guess its possible. I wonder what would happen if, one day, Michael Phelps swam in the ocean and met Aquaman, and had a conversation like this:

Aquaman: Hi Michael Phelps, I’m Aquaman.
Michael Phelps: .......
Aquaman: Yes, its really me, Aquaman. I’m the prince of Atlantis, I can breathe underwater, swim at great speed, and speak to all underwater lifeforms and command them to do my will (Aquaman then summons dolphins and has them perform the opening routine of the Beijing Olympics).
Michael Phelps: Wow. That was awesome.
Aquaman: Tell ya what, If you bottom for me here in the ocean on the back of this sperm whale, I’ll give you access to all my powers and underwater kingdom.

Would Phelps agree to be his aquaboy? Might make a cute couple.

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Men’s gymnastics. Sweet gay Christ, I love the Olympics. They’re the summer Olympic equivalent to male figure skating.

This year’s cheerleaders offer every guy someone to swoon over, assuming that you enjoy men on the lesser side of 25 and under 5’9. NBC did a good job personalizing the team by providing narratives for each member. Studly Texan Jonathan Horton is the aggressive top so straight he bleeds when he takes a shit, Raj Bhavsar is exotic and philosophical, Sasha Artemev is the lanky twink, Joe Hagerty is the everyman cub in training, and Justin Spring (from Burke, VA) is the preppie boy next door. There are others on the team, but I didn’t see them perform. Me and my roommate feel strongly that Spring and Artemev should be a couple, as should Horton and Bhavsar. They certainly are in my fantasies.

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A sugar trail may dissolve in water, but it’s evident all the way up to the top of the diving platform anytime Thomas Finchum follows his diving partner, David Boudia. Watching Finchum sashay to the edge of the platform or seeing him pose in photos, its obvious he’s playing for our team.

I haven’t seen gay diver Matthew Mitcham during these Olympics, but I hear he’s very talented.

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There’s a woman on the Olympic swimming team named Dara Torres. She’s 41 years old, and won three siver medals, missing the gold twice by less than a second. I saw a tv segment about her workout regimen, which is quite revolutionary in its reliance on stretching, massage, and a small machine that electrically stimulates muscles. I’ve thought of her a great deal lately, as she inspires me to drink less beer and learn how to use a rowing machine.

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On three different days, I turn on the Olympics, only to find women’s volleyball. It’s annoying. Regardless, I hope the lesbians are happy.

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Should We Be Watching These Olympics?

This post submitted by Parker, who sometimes writes about politics for TNG.

There's a funny scene in the movie "But I'm A Cheerleader" where all of the kids in the ex-gay camp talk about their "root," the thing in their past that made them gay. I don't know if it's really possible for an incident in someone's childhood to make them a gay man or a lesbian. If it is, my "root" was the summer Olympics. There was nothing I liked better as a kid or a closeted young adult than watching swimmers in speedos or staring at gymnasts' muscular limbs as they held onto the rings and straddled pommel horses. It was way more satisfying then sneaking peeks at the underwear ads in the JC Penney catalog. During recent Olympics, I've even attended get-togethers with other gay guys that have been all about ogling Olympian man meat.

I must say that this Olympics has not been a disappointment. The swimmers have been delicious, even with those silly full-body suits they wear these days. And it was hot watching Jonathon Horton from the American men's gymnastic team talk trash in his cute Texas accent. Plus, this year I discovered the magic of men's synchronized swimming. Televised group showers anyone? I've even found myself rooting openly for the Americans for the first time.

Before all of the hotness and nationalism won me over, though, I was prepared to sit out this Olympics. I didn't want to be a part of things this time around because I saw every Olympic-watching party and every "Beijing 2008" Coke can as an endorsement of China and the way the Chinese government treats its own people and conducts itself in the world. I'm not going to go into all the details here because we've all been beaten over the heads over the past year or so with all of the talk about how awful China is. But I think it's important to point out that the people who are putting on these games deny their citizens the right to worship as they choose and to elect and criticize their leaders. They execute thousands of people every year, often immediately after trial with a bullet to the head. They are occupying Tibet and Xinjinag against the wishes of the people who live there. And in the run up to these games, they kicked people out of their homes to make way for Olympic construction, they violently put down protests by Buddhist monks in Tibet, and they continued their support for the genocidal government in Sudan. They even attempted to sell weapons to a Zimbabwean government that was in the process of beating and killing opposition supporters.

There was a story on ESPN yesterday about how American basketball palyers Kobe Bryant and LeBron James - perhaps the best-known atheletes participating in the Olympics this time around - had promised to speak out against China's human rights record when they got to Beijing. They have been silent so far, arguing that the Olympics are not about politics. Of course they're not. They're about competition and sportsmanship and all kinds of good stuff, I guess. (They're also about a lot of people making a lot of money). But, as you're watching Jonathon Horton's (hopefully shirtless) exhibition performance later on, don't be like Kobe and LeBron. Remember the people that China's leaders oppress and kill. I will. I just wish that our government - post-Iraq, post-Guantanamo, post-waterboarding, post-warrantless wiretapping - had the moral authority to speak up in the way that we all can and call out China's leaders as the bastards and murderers that they are.

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TNG Fantasy Football League

Do you get as excited about football season as some of us do? Do you wish every year that you participated in a fantasy football league with a bunch of other gays? Then join our fantasy football league!

I've set up a league on Yahoo Sports, so if you're interested, drop me an email at mscavanaugh@thenewgay.net and I'll send you the information. There are 12 teams in each league, so if we have more people interested than slots, we'll start a second league.

This could lead to getting together on Sundays at Nellie's to drink beer, watch football and trash talk each other's teams. Sound fun? I thought so.

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2008 Summer Games: One World, One Dream? Hell, Yeah!

Former U.S. flagbearer Joey Cheek is persona non grata in China.

'Twas the night before the Olympic Opening Ceremonies, and though we sadly won't be treated to the sight of America's athletes decked out in Project Runway's "Rings of Glory" challenge ensembles (guest judge Apolo Ohno, media whore), we WILL get to see our athletes flip a mighty bird to Chinese officials by spotlighting the crisis in Darfur. Too bad only one of those athletes is out and gay. At least she is a babe.

One day after the Chinese government revoked former gold medalist Joey Cheek's visa for his Darfur activism, U.S. team captains huddled up and elected Sudanese refugee Lopez Lomong to be our flagbearer. Lomong was kidnapped by Sudanese rebels at age 6, escaped to a refugee camp in Kenya, and in 2001 was sent to the United States as part of a program to help Sudan's "Lost Boys." He became a citizen last July, and made the U.S. Track and Field team by finishing third in the 1,500 meters. In a statement, Lomong said,

"The American flag means everything in my life — everything that describes me, coming from another country and going through all of the stages that I have to become a U.S. citizen. This is another amazing step for me in celebrating being an American. Seeing my fellow Americans coming behind me and supporting me will be a great honor — the highest honor. It's just a happy day. I don't even have the words to describe how happy I am."

While Ohno was Dancing with the Stars, fellow speedskater Cheek was busy co-founding Team Darfur. Himself the flagbearer in 2006, the sweetie Cheek sounded almost as ecstatic about the selection as Lomong. "I was more thrilled by it than I imagined I would have been. It just seems incredibly relevant...Every time I think I can't be prouder of U.S. Olympians, those guys find a way to outdo themselves."

In other Olympic news of relevance to New Gays and old, Outsports is reporting that there are only only 6 openly gay athletes so far at the Beijing Games, a drop from Summer games past. The one everyone's talking about is hunky little Australian diver Matthew Mitcham, but I was just as happy to see confirmation that soccer's inked-up Hawaiian hottie Natasha Kai (right) is indeed a rainbow warrior, and that a Norwegian couple is administering spankings in handball.

The Games are supposed to be apolitical in the manner that collegiate sports are supposed to be not-for-profit. Which is to say, the Games have always been and always will be political. People are people, and we will continue to care about things, to be the products of our times, to need spoken for or to need to speak. And goverments are governments with their own self-interests, and behemoth corporations will run the show, no matter what the IOC pretends. From the Munich Massacre to John Carlos and Tommie Smith's podium black power salute, the Games always serve as a reflection of our times. Boycott? As Norman Chad wrote last week in A Remote Boycott, "I've boycotted USA Today since, like, 1991 — they still publish a 'newspaper' five days a week." So, bring 'em on!

More:

• Lomong Is Chosen To Carry U.S. Flag, Wapost
• In Beijing Olympics, only 6 openly gay athletes, Outsports
• Even G-Dub is getting onboard
• Partners in Grime, Sally Jenkins, Wapost
• SI Olympic coverage
• NYT Olympic coverage
• Wapost Olympic coverage
  

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Homosexual eases into 100 final at Olympic trials

It's not a headline from the Onion's Gay Pride issue, but the result of auto-replace software used by the idiots at American Family Association to make AP headlines more to their liking. "Tyson Homosexual easily won his semifinal for the 100 meters at the U.S. Olympic track and field trials and seemed to save something for the final later Sunday," was the new and improved lead on the AFA's version of sprinter Tyson Gay's fastest-ever (though wind-aided) 100. The right-wing media watch over at People for the American Way grabbed these screencaps, critical evidence in any web Exhibit: Moron case, which show the AFA has also been helpfully renaming Memphis Grizzlies forward Rudy Gay.

In case it isn't clear, the AFA believes the word Gay sounds inappropriately positive, whereas Homosexual casts us in the accurately dim and murky boy-child molesting, disease-ridden, Jesus-taunting, apocalypse-baiting light where we live out our sad and depraved so-called lives. You win, AFA.

More:

• I Feel Pretty and Witty and . . . What? Al Kamen, wapost

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Tonight: Shaw Park Fundraiser

This event preview was submitted by Ben Takai, who is is the captain and cofounder of the kickball team The Easy Tigers.

After a hard night of kickball, three teammates- Brandon Neukam, Ben Takai and Tyler Kalogeros (Pictured, from left to right) decided that their field could use a little cleaning. Neighborhood bar Nellie's decided the boys were right!

Tonight, June 13th at 8 PM, please join these kickballers at Nellie's to raise some funds to clean up the field located at 11th and Rhode Island Avenues, NW. $1 of every Nellies Beer sold will go to fix up the park, and if you're not a beer drinker, feel free to drop a few dollars in the donation jar!!

The money raised will buy new benches, patch up the field, cut the grass and make it a place where everyone will want to play kickball, softball, soccer, and yes, even croquet.

Nellie's is located at 900 U Street, NW.

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PDA Double Standard at the Old Ball Game

A lesbian couple was booted from a Seattle Mariners game because some squirmy patrons complained to the homophobic staff about the couple kissing. Or, a lesbian couple was booted from a Seattle Mariners game because, after being asked to "tone done" their "groping" and "making out," they became verbally abusive to the staff.

It would be easier to believe the Mariners' version of events had the seating host not told one of the women, "There's children in the crowd. It's not fair for parents to have to explain to their kids why two women are kissing."

Of course, that's if you believe the lesbian. In this case of lesbian-said, Corporate Spokesperson-said, I'm going to go with: we all know hetero and homo Public Displays of Affection are treated differently. Personally, I'm pro-PDA regardless of orientation or even attractiveness, but however you feel about that issue (and hopefully it's not as polarizing as flip-flops), I think we've all heard this tired whine before: we shouldn't have to explain your gayness to our kids. I'm calling bullshit on the Mariners.

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Will There Be Lesbians? You May Rely On It

Hebden Bridge is falling down...under a great density of lesbians. NPR reports that the Yorkshire, England locale was "just another dying mill town" before being overrun with strange sisters in the '90s. Today, 1 in 5 adults is of the gay lady persuasion, thanks to the welcoming nature of Hebden Bridgers.

Do you know where else 1 in 5 adults are lesbetarians? At HRC's Mystics Pride Night. There's no time like three weeks from now to finally get your ass to a Mystics game. It'll be like having Guerilla Queer Bar at a queer bar.

The helpful flyer says that $40 gets you a decent seat and entry to the after party, which the players are supposed to attend. Do not get drunk and hit on a player. You will look foolish.

Where: Dewar's 12 Clubhouse, 2nd Floor of Verizon Center
When: Saturday May, 31 from 3:30pm - 10:00pm

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The Gay Gym

Okay. You got me. I'll admit it. I go to the gay gym. And I love it.

I know what you're thinking: Why would a self-respecting alterna-queer gay hipster be caught dead in the gay gym? You might be wondering how I even feel comfortable in the locker room, or whether I skip it all together and just walk home in my sweaty gym clothes. Or perhaps you imagine me wearing really bulky sweatshirts to cover my scrawny body so I don't get to intimidated by all the muscle jocks.

Well, my friends, the short answer is: None of the above. I was always picked last in gym class. I was never naked in the high school locker room. And I couldn't hit a baseball to save my life. But somehow I feel perfectly comfortable at the gay gym.

I think I attribute this odd comfort to a variety of things. But the main reason is this.

Gyms are always very sexualized environments. There's the locker room and the showers. Then the hot guys lifting weights, stretching, bending, making fuck-faces in the mirrors... Really, what gay guy can resist? No wonder gays like going to gyms.

But unlike the at the "straight gyms" where any sexual interest must be hidden, where any flirtation must be covert, any glances must be furtive... Unlike the straight gyms, at the gay gym if you want to look a guy you think is hot, you just look at him. If you want to talk to someone and maybe ask him out on a date, you can walk right up to him and start flirting. And if you want to look at dicks in the shower, chances are the owners of those dicks are looking right back at yours.

How liberating! Where else in this country can you find an environment filled with gay men who are collected at that space without the express purpose of getting wasted and hooking up? If you think about it, the gays have two spaces all to themselves: gay bars and gay gyms. Only in those two locations can you find such high concentrations of queers. And unlike at the bars, the gays are at the gyms for a purpose other than sex.

Sure, there are lots of muscle guys at the gay gym, but I see all different types of guys there, too. From super super skinny guys to guys who are so muscular they can't lift their arms over their heads. From jocks to queens, geeks to pretty boys. It's refreshing to see them all when they're not dressed to impress, sweating and quite possibly in pain. Or even humbled by a weight too heavy or a yoga posture too gravity-defying.

Could I be intimidated surrounded by all these hot guys? Well, as I just said, they're all not that hot. And chances are, even the hot ones have low self esteems. But sure, I could be intimidated, but I'm not. Instead, I'm putting myself out there, into one of DC's few true gay social spaces, and I'm getting a pretty good workout while I'm at it.

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A Field of His Own

This post was submitted by Elbert Ortiz, a native of Austin, Texas living in DC since December 2006.

Image from The Iron Ladies, a movie that tells the true story of a Thai male volleyball team that won the national championships in 1996 with a team consisting mostly of gay men, drag queens, transsexuals and one straight guy.

Growing up gay, there weren’t many role models that I could idolize and identify with in the realm of sports. My involvement in sports was never to be in question as my father declared upon my birth “it’s a quarterback!” as opposed to “it’s a boy.” He was the quintessential little league and Pop Warner dad. At age 8, he replaced the teddy bears on my bed with a football encouraging me to become intimate with it and learn every nook and cranny. Yes, my father wanted me to have sex with a pigskin before I had even hit puberty. To compound matters, volleyball, the one sport I really took to, is predominantly played by women. While all the other boys wanted to be like Michael Jordan, I wanted to be like Misty May.

I was fortunately blessed with athletic and physical talent combined with above average coordination. That enabled me to decently play all the youth sports and escape fairly unscathed, unlike many other young male homosexuals in the face of exclusionary and macho practices perpetuated by players and parents alike. I remember the kid who “threw like a girl” or was too dainty for contact sports. More importantly, I remember the locker room talk and the ostracizing that followed. I subsequently learned to keep quiet in the midst of this bigotry and I developed an irrational fear of exposing myself as homosexual amongst my teammates.

My experiences weren’t enough to taint me from sports altogether. To the contrary, I find myself most at ease on a volleyball court, playing my sport of choice. It’s my meditation, it’s a source of pride, it gives me confidence and helps me to stay centered and in the moment. It can also serve as a social bridge for meeting other like minded individuals.

It was with this latent passion that I was able to compete for my university on the volleyball squad as an undergrad. However, I was shaped by my youthful locker room experiences. To my knowledge, I was the only gay player on the roster and deathly afraid of being exposed. My first year on the team, despite performing well enough to earn significant playing time, I always felt isolated from my teammates and the team spirit. This self-imprisonment affected me in many ways, including my performance on the court at times, and perhaps most sad, it affected my overall self-esteem. My inability to bond with my teammates and to break free of my self-imposed shell lead me to ponder quitting a sport I so loved, and competing for the school for which I had dreamed of playing throughout a good part of my childhood.

However, after the conclusion of my first season and during the subsequent off-season, something very special and empowering took place. My coach was competing on an adult volleyball team in a big amateur national championship tournament in a nearby city. His team needed one more player to complete their roster and he asked me to play. Not only was I thrilled to receive the invitation from my coach, but I soon learned that he was gay as well and the tournament was sanctioned by an organization by the name of NAGVA (North American Gay Volleyball Association) that promotes gay participation in sports, specifically volleyball. While many might begin to think (or fantasize) that the story gets racy here between my coach and I, nothing of the sort ever happened. This beginning of a relationship outside of our team lead only to a father/son type mentorship and we keep in touch to this day.

I remember the anxiety of playing with my coach and what kind of impression I’d leave on him as well as the excitement of being surrounded by other gay athletes all under one humongous hall. When I walked into the convention center serving as the venue, I was blown away. They must have had over 40 courts set up to foster competition in four different tiers of level/experience. They had the top tier courts for players that were out-of-this-world awesome, the second tier for players that were accomplished but not quite at the top of their game or possibly on the slow trek down from their prime, the third tier for players that seemed fresh to the sport or limited by their physical shape, and the final tier for those just beginning the sport or possibly for those at an age where their bodies could handle only so much wear and tear.

What stands out the most in my memories of this exciting experience was watching the competition on the top tier courts. It wasn’t just that I saw trannies and men playing volleyball in spandex without a single hair out of place, but that they were uber physical and competitive. I could see the fire in their eyes that they were in it to win it all the while carrying on without any facades or manufactured court behavior as I had been feeling forced to do on my own college team. I was impressed, inspired, and most of all determined to live up to my newfound gay sports role models.

The next fall, I returned to my team with a new attitude about me. I was no longer withdrawn or holding back who I was from my teammates for fear of any backlash or repercussion. Over the summer, I came out to a teammate who was known for his inability to keep secrets, and during two-a-days in our pre-season, I made sure to disclose my sexuality to anyone else who had not yet heard. Once the initial awkwardness subsided, I went on to forge some of the best friendships in my life and memories that will forever cast my college experience in such positive light.

For those that have ever been in these shoes or behind-the-scenes curious to get involved in team sports but afraid to try, I offer the same empowerment. NAGVA still exists and is very active in this area. This weekend, the Baltimore region of NAGVA is hosting a two day volleyball tournament with pool play on Saturday, a mini-banquet complete with hot jocks and drag queen performances Saturday night at the Hippo, and the conclusion/playoff portion of the play on Sunday. There will be three levels of competition (all but the top tier) with six courts at the Volleyball House in Elkridge, MD. I invite all to come check out the scene, make friends, find a possible team for future tournaments, or fulfill any locker room fantasies you’ve been harboring.

Likewise, DC offers gay volleyball opportunities to the masses and an annual NAGVA tourney as well hosted over the Thanksgiving weekend. Every Tuesday night, there is Gay Social Volleyball at Old Mackin Gym (2200 California Street, NW) from 7:00-9:30pm. There is an $8 fee to cover the organizer’s operating expenses. If you are new to the sport, this is the perfect opportunity to get started as the competition is designed to balance out good players with less experienced ones and promote new friendships. I can’t promise you won’t come across a few impatient or cliquish folk, but the vast majority of attendees are laid back and nurturing. Come find me to say “Hi” and I’ll be more than happy to aide in introductions or give pointers on how to improve. See you there!

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Flaming Football on the Mall

The boys of Flaming Football on the Mall have been catching passes with their tight ends for well over a year now. They meet every sunday on the mall for games of two-hand touch. I haven't joined them since last summer, as I try not to leave my house in weather less than 60 degrees, but it's getting warmer so it may be time lace em' up.

Girls are welcome, and you don't really need to know how to play.

You can check out their facebook page or their website. Details are after the jump.

From Flaming Football on the Mall:
Join Flaming Football on the Mall!

We've been playing for over 1 year, every Sunday on the Mall!

Even if you're not gay - you're invited to play some 2 hand touch (if you're not afraid to get touched) in the friendliest game in town (girls are always welcome too).

Do not be intimidated! We've attracted a few serious players, but we're all here to have fun (we have no structured teams).

We play from 2pm until 4pm every Sunday. Come join when you can, but we prefer if you are there BY 2pm!!!

We have moved to our "winter field" on the National Mall at 14th and Madison Avenue (the North West part of this corner) under the shade of the actual Washington Monument!

Please call or text me for more information (202) 494-0050

We have been playing on the Mall since July 2006! And Providence, RI has also begun their own Flaming Football chapter. Look for "Flaming Football (Providence Chapter)" on Facebook. Start your own Chapter!

You can even visit - www.flamingfootball.org

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Ballin' Girls

Women are still playing basketball, and some small segment of the population is still caring. Let's haphazardly review the women's Final Four from a TNG perspective:

• Geno Auriemma and the Evil UConn Empire are OUT. But we'll still get to watch their freak of a freshman Maya Moore for another three years, cuz this ain't the men's game.


• Tara VanderVeer and the Standford Cardinal are IN. VanderVeer is the lesbian coach most cited in the gay-smearing recruting wars. Represent, Tara! But consider a 21st century lesbian makeover. I know coaches are too busy to feed or dress themselves, but think about it in the offseason. In other Stanford news, star Candice Wiggins (high-fiving cheerleader at right) is cute.

• Poor LSU lost in the Final Four AGAIN. They are officially the Buffalo Bills of the NCAA. You may remember LSU from the Pokey Chatman "scandal" of a couple years back, wherein she was canned for pokin' a former player. I don't wanna sound too pervy, but, those kids are more than of age. As for Pokey, she's been sentenced to coaching in Russia.


• (Not) Gay New Divorcée and Queen of Basketball Pat Summitt is IN, even though Tennessee's badass star Candace "The One Who Can Dunk" Parker has been playing with a separated shoulder. Candace'll be the first pick in this year's WNBA draft, going to L.A., and she was one of People Magazine's Most Beautiful People, which means she must really love fiancé Shelden Williams —>
  

Who will be the champeens? Tune in for Stanford vs. Tennesse, tomorrow night at 8:30 on ESPN.

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Queer Cycling

This image is from a web page reminding us "why cycling shorts should always be black."

We here at TNG firmly believe in fitness. Exercise is good for you. It will help you live a longer, healthier, happier life. Oh, and it will generally result in you looking hotter than you would otherwise. We're all about increasing the amount of hotness in this world.

I've already written about one of my athletic past-times, yoga. Now I have a chance to share with you my other favorite form of exercise: cycling.

Yours truly has teamed up with the gay-owned Bike Rack bike shop at Q and 14th NW to provide a weekly community bike ride for beginner to intermediate cyclists. We meet up every Saturday (weather permitting) at a "civilized" hour (10 AM) and do rides in the 20- to 30-mile range. These rides generally take about two hours, and usually include a break or two along the way.

If you're interested in joining the rides, you'll want to bring a few things:

• Helmet (mandatory)


• Water bottle


• Spare tube or patch kit

You might also want to hop on the stationary bike at the gym and see if you can make it 20 miles in one sitting. While these rides are accessible to beginner cyclists, you'll need to be in relatively good shape in order to keep up with the pack (or at least prevent everyone from waiting for you at the tops of the hills.)

If you have any questions about the weekly ride, feel free to email me. If you're gung ho and ready to roll, subscribe to the Bike Rack's Google Group to keep in touch with the rest of the cycling community, then meet up with us on Saturday. If you are a more experienced rider and want a more challenging ride, check out the Bike Rack's Sunday ride. (8:30 AM, 40- to 50-miles, 16+ mph)

Cycling is great way to get or stay fit. It's a zero-impact workout, so you don't have to worry (too much) about your knees. It's a great workout for the quads, glutes and calf muscles. And riding behind someone with a hot, spandex-clad ass is much more fun than doing squats and lunges.

** Update: The Saturday Bike Ride now has a website/blog. Check it out. **

The Bike Rack hosts weekly bike rides for beginner and intermediate cyclists every Saturday. Meet at the shop, 1412 Q St NW, Saturdays at 10 AM. Rides canceled if it is raining or the roads are wet.

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Lesbians + Football = Awesome

Next Sunday A Different Kind of Ladies Night is throwing a Super Bowl party at Phase 1, and it will be followed up by the new episode of The L Word. Considering that New England sports and ladies are two of my main interests in life, I'm planning to be there, and will be dragging lesbian friends who I supported during last year's Super Bowl when their team (the Bears) was in it. 5 p.m. on February 3 at Phase 1, 525 8th St., SE. $10.

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Homophobic Sports Page Readers

This picture is all over the Internet right now. See anything wrong with it? No, I didn't think so. But here's a response from the Courier-Journal, the paper that originally published the picture of two college players embracing, in which they defend their decision to run the picture in the wake of negative responses from readers. Why is a bigger deal made about athletes who are/could be gay than in other professions? Why are lesbian athletes never called out like gays are? I don't understand the straight male mind, despite having many things in common with it, so I don't understand why some would be uncomfortable simply being around gay men.

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Thoughts on Steroids in the MLB

Like every other big baseball fan out there, I’m avidly following the fallout from the Mitchell Report, the report released last Thursday by former senator George Mitchell, who looked into steroid usage in the MLB.

The report implicated nearly 90 players, with every single team represented. Mitchell conducted 700 interviews with players, coaches, and Kirk Radomski, a former New York Mets clubhouse employee who, until late 2005, was the go-to guy for illegal performance enhancing substances for MLB players.

While it’s great that the MLB decided to really look into steroid usage, there are problems swirling around the report. First, one player, Baltimore Oriole Brian Roberts, was implicated by one witness who said Roberts mentioned that he used steroids “once or twice.” For all the other players named, the evidence is much more substantial, and other players are speaking out about how Roberts’ name has been defamed. There’s also the fact that some players were rumored to be involved, such as Jason Varitek and Nomar Garciaparra, who are on various lists circulating the Internet, but who are not named in the report. What kind of effect will these rumors have on the players? When I heard that these two were named, I was immediately disappointed in both, and also in disbelief, since Garciaparra is not, shall we say, very built.


The second problem is what to do now — can awards like MVP be rescinded, like Ken Caminiti’s 1996 award? Caminiti admitted 8 years later that he used performance-enhancing drugs during that season. What about entire World Series Championships? Only one current Red Sox player, Eric Gagne, was named in the report, but is that enough to strip the Sox of their 2007 title? The Olympic Committee is making Marion Jones’ relay teammates have a hearing to petition to keep their medals, since the track star was stripped of her five 2000 Olympic medals for using performance-enhancing drugs. Granted one player on a baseball team has less effect than one person on a relay team of four people, but the idea is the same.

If the use of steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs is this widespread, how can the MLB keep it in check? And once new technology has become so pervasive, is there anything that anyone can do to stop it?

The drugs that athletes use pose serious risks to their health, and have resulted in deaths, meaning a lot more than records are at stake — why is anything that could potentially shorten one’s life worth doing? And if so many baseball players are using these drugs and the MLB doesn’t throw them out of the league, is there soon going to be no place in major league sports for athletes who don’t illegally enhance their performances? And there’s an overarching question here: have we created a society of unrealistic expectations?

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Quarterback Seeking Tight End/Wide Reciever

A recent study by sociologist Eric Anderson reveals that more than a third of former American high school football players admitted they had had sexual relations with other men.

He says: “The evidence supports my assertion that homophobia is on the rapid decline among male teamsport athletes in North America at all levels of play,” and that ‘Being masculine is not about whom you sleep with…Heterosexual athletes contesting masculinity and the one-time rule of homosexuality’.

Ok, so his sample set came from former football players who are now cheerleaders... I am still using this information as justification for putting pictures of football man candy below the fold (Parker, this is for you).

Jeremy Bloom of the Philadelphia Eagles. Yes, He's a Wide Reciever.


Brady Quinn of the Cleveland Browns stretches before action.


Patrick Kearney of the Atlanta Falcons. I love football pants, don't you?


Colt Brennan may possibly be the best football name ever.


Reggie Bush: New Orleans Saints. Holla!


Now THAT'S a tight end!


Alex Smith of the 49ers takes a dip.

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Death of a God

I haven't been able to get away from the tragic death of Washington Redskins Safety, Sean Taylor. Every day for a week, whether it be television, print, or online, I've seen this story take a prominent position in the news of the day.

It's sad when people die, and it's great that he was much loved among his teammates, was a fantastic player, and apparently a good father. It's also touching how on the first play of the Redskins game this Sunday, the team fielded only 10 players instead of the usual 11 (that's class). However, do we really need to act as if a head of state died? It's not like he's the Pope, people. He was 24, had a relatively short career in the NFL, and other than being able to knock the shit out of people and being a good guy, I don't see why he would get this level of media attention for a solid week.

I don't mean to speak ill of the dead, but I don't think even Mother Theresa got this kind of news coverage. Seriously. At this point I'm waiting for him to rise from the grave after three days, or at least become one of those conspiracy theory icons that people refuse to believe is dead.

My gut tells me that this is probably more about the power of football than any one person. The religiosity of this game and the way that its worship seems to overwhelm the minds of the plebian masses so completely as to undermine the importance of the things that really matter, is scary. I love football, and I've followed the New Orleans Saints religiously since I was a kid, but far too frequently I speak with people who can talk endlessly about football players but have next to no understanding of anything else. I'm at the point that when I see people with flags on their cars, I wince.

This weekend I saw many people wearing Sean Taylor Jerseys or having some insignia commemorating his life (mostly "21", his number). It was heartwarming to see so many people who apparently care a great deal, but something about it didn't sit well in my gut. You see, I couldn't remember the last time I saw anyone wear an insignia for the tens of thousands of civilians our country has killed in Iraq, the monks lost in Burma, or the thousands of lives destroyed in Sudan. Then again, I've never seen a monk stop a running back cold on 3rd and 1 from the goal line.

As disturbed as I am by this, I realize it is inevitable. In a world where we have made sport our religion, it's only fitting that we send off its greatest warriors as one might a God.

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