Inauguration No Vacation
A Republican friend of mine sent me travel information on Puerto Rico last week. Less than $500 will get me round-trip to Puerto Rico + lodging for the entire inauguration. I’m a bleeding heart/fan of the Hope-in-Chief, so my reasons for doing a "peace out" aren’t the same as his, but the idea of a moderate reliving of Hunter S. Thompson’s Rum Diaries is an appealing prospect, particularly during these dark days.
I hear that between 1.5 and four million people will be in the district for the presidential inauguration. Considering the weather, the limits of mass transit, the lack of personal space and port-a-pottys, the strain on food service and human waste disposal, and the ubiquity of alcohol, these numbers forewarn of an epic assholification of the district. Add the threat of terrorism, and I really don’t want to be here.
I know myself, and $500 will turn into $1000 very quickly. Considering all the reading I’m doing about the economy (damn my eyes), all I want to do is hoard money and brace for impact when the dollar plummets, jobs vanish by the millions, and companies go bankrupt by the thousands. As much as I would love to take a ferry to Vieques and get twisted with a bunch of psychotic little Puerto Rican queers, it’s probably best that I conserve so that I can buy leather clothes, solar panels, and rooftop gardening equipment for a post-apocalyptic thunderdome where the only valid currencies are stock in Fox News and Billy Graham bobble-heads. At very least I need to keep the margaritas flowing until jesus returns.
I hope all the doomsayers aren’t proven correct, but at very least I’ll have more money in the bank. Did I say bank? I mean my mattress. Sigh.
Btw, here's the Inaugural Events Master Schedule.
4 comments:
Yes yes... I thought that too. You know what else I thought? Over the next week, picking up hawt guys in this town is gonna be like shooting fish in a barrel.
Yes. Please.
don't take the vieques ferry. take the plane!
Someone recently asked if I would return to DC for the Inauguration. I tried to explain to him that I tried my damnedest to leave DC or to shut myself in my apartment on days like Inauguration and 4th of July.
There are two kinds of people who will not be partaking in the Inauguration festivities and will be leaving before the crush: bitter Republicans and DC residents accustomed to hunkering down for big events. As the latter I'm going to change my spots for the weekend and attend, especially since it is history in the making.
It's also high holy days for the gays (not the new gays of course, but the rest of us) with MAL and it promises to be a time to catch up with the naughty before going to watch the nice on the Mall.
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