The Gender Deviant Shopper
TNG reader Randi submitted this piece.
As I, a biologically female-bodied person, sit here in a size XS, long sleeve, light blue thermal from the men’s section of The Gap, I wonder if people would consider this cross-dressing. The shirt fits my 113 lbs. frame perfectly. Either The Gap is really accommodating of smaller people, or they knew women were going to want to wear these shirts, too. So this brings up the question… why am I able to wear this shirt without encountering negative comments about cross-dressing? When I first bought the shirt I was hesitant to wear it knowing it was a “shirt for a man,” but eventually I said fuck it and wore it to school. No one said anything there. I made the mistake of wearing it in front of my mother, who in her 3rd generation, watered-down, Asian sensibility, immediately asked where it was from and how much it cost. The second mistake I made was starting off with: “It’s from the men’s section…” My mom stopped trying to put me in dresses at age 7 and knows that I prefer pants to skirts and sneakers to ballet flats, but she always hopes that I will someday be more of a “girlie girl.” She shouldn’t wait with bated breath.
Why is it that cross-dressing has the potential to provide women with opportunity, while cross-dressing for men is associated with shame or comedy? To be clear, I’m not talking about drag performance. I’m talking about everyday wear. Maybe it’s because men’s clothing looks more unisex than women’s clothing. A woman can get away with wearing men’s clothes more easily than vice versa. I venture that people would not have a totally adverse reaction to a woman wearing a man’s button down flannel or a necktie but would lose their shit over a man wearing a skirt or ballet flats.
Is it because women’s clothing is more (binary) gender specific? Not everyone looks good in pink, but I would guess that a lot of people think they look fine in blue. Society’s folkways have dictated “pink = girl” and “boy = blue” for so long that pink will never be equated with boy, no matter how hard Abercrombie and Fitch try to make it work. When I was an undergrad, I saw a guy wearing a shirt that had “Tough Guys Wear Pink” written on the front of it. The fact that the shirt comes with its own disclaimer is evidence that pink on a man might generate a few chuckles. Can we attribute this unequal appropriation of colored clothing to the idea that being associated with femininity is an assault on masculinity?
When am I going to find my way to the women’s section of the store? When am I going to stop being able to get away with looking like a 16-year-old emo boy? Am I wrong to even think of this as cross-dressing?
3 comments:
I don't know if I'd consider what you're talking about "cross-dressing" per se. When I lived in Portland I knew a lot of straight men who wore women's jeans to achieve the desired ass-hugging/hipster/rocker look that is so ubiquitous there. I also occasionally wander over to the men's section when I feel like my wardrobe needs an injection of masculinity. In other words, it's more acceptable in the alternative and queer communities to wear "gender-deviant" fashion.
Not to say that there isn't a double standard when it comes to male versus female fashion (i.e. why does women's fashion have so much more variation than men's and why is it okay for little girls to want to dress like little boys but not vice-versa?), but I suspect that the reason for this is rooted in the greater value we assign to masculinity relative to femininity....
Men's clothes, unfortunately, appear more "unisex" because males are still considered dominant, and male things the "norm." So women are more likely to be okay wearing men's clothing than vice versa, because women are adopting the symbols of the dominant power.
For all their flaws, one of the beauties of the Radical Faeries is how they play with gender norms in their chosen outfits. Few do full drag; usually instead they mix women's clothing with men's, or keep full beards, etc.
As far as just the color pink goes, when a man wears it, it can be very subversive (and consequently stimulating!), as I saw with a skate punk recently whose leather belt was covering in pink studs, or even when a jock puts on a bright pink polo shirt as an act, conscious or otherwise, of defiance.
Frankly in the hot months I sometimes wish I could get away with a summer dress. What we need here in the US is a tradition of men's "skirts", like the lungi of Burma.
I'm a big fan of wearing men's undies (it def looks hot on girls, fyi). But when I buy men's underwear from department stores, I always feel slightly weird sifting through the men's panties. Some people might assume I'm buying underwear for a 'boyfriend' until they see me sizing it up to me and trying to figure out if the butt will be too big for me.
Like I said, I'm only slightly nervous when buying them, but when I wear them... well I feel really confident. Almost like I have a secret that's reserved for me and a few others.
I guess it's just having a taste of both worlds. I can have a totally girlie outfit on, but underneath I'm claiming a different side/culture/gender/etc.
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