Any Queer Christian Coming Out Resources?
BlueSeqPerl is a TNG reader, prolific commenter, and proud Washingtonian with a request to fellow TNG readers to chime in about resources for gay Christians.
I was wondering if The New Gay readership knows of any online resources to help queer Christians reconcile their sexuality while maintaining their faith. I know a lot of queers are no longer Christian and for understandable reasons, but I thought I would ask.
My former Catholic youth minister contacted me asking about aforementioned resources. She has a kid dealing with the same issues I was dealing with 10 years ago. With the help of my youth minister and Catholic youth group, I was able to come to terms with both issues: faith and sexuality. The kid in need is from a different parish, so he does not have the same exact resources I had growing up. I will discuss my story below the request.
Please note that I am in no way trying to “save” people. I am just trying to get some more ideas on additional resources to help this kid out.
Resources I Know about
I know of these three groups:
• Integrity, a queer Episcopalian support group
• Dignity, the Catholic version of Integrity
• Courage, a queer Catholic support group that emphasizes celibacy (I know that it is messed up).
I know of couple books that tackle this tricky issue:
• What the Bible Really Says about Homosexuality – An awesome book though some of the author’s arguments are not super strong.
• On Being Gay – This book tackles the issue of faith and sexuality among other gay issues.
* Please note if you are interested in either book, you can pick up a copy at Lambda Rising. On a side note, the store was packed over Inauguration Weekend.
Please let me know if you have any suggestions about other potential resources. If there are resources for other faiths, I think we would value that input as well. I do appreciate your help.
Gay Catholic and OK with That Identity
10 years ago, I came out to my Catholic youth group when I was a junior in high school. I know that sounds like committing suicide, but here is a little background on my Catholic youth group and Youth minister. I feel Catholics fall into two buckets: realistic and idealistic. My group fell in the former bucket. Idealistic Catholics focus on the Church’s teachings at a literal level to guide them, sometimes blindly. Realistic Catholics uses the broad concepts of the Church’s teaching to approach their faith and lives. I find I need Prozac in order to withstand long periods of interaction with the idealistic group.
My youth group was more than fine with my sexuality. They look forward to when I would start dating, which didn’t happen until college. They taught me about Jesus’s love and his many works, and how to adapt those teachings to my life. As a group, we struggled with many things that come with teen angst including sex, drugs, parents, school, and college. I don’t think I would approach life the way I do…Hell, I don’t know if I would be around without them.
I am glad to have my complex identity and appreciate my wonderful support system. I know not all queer Christians have or had the same experience. I just want those who struggle with their faith and sexuality that there are Christians out there who will support you no matter your sexual orientation or gender identity.
17 comments:
Although not limited to gay issues, I recommend two books by Matthew Fox, written before he left the Catholic Church: "Creation Spirituality" and "Original Blessing". John Boswell's "Christianity, Social Tolerance and Homosexuality" is a study of church history, but it was helpful to me nonetheless.
Also, you may want to look into any information coming from the Metropolitan Community Churches. They are queer-oriented.
Thanks, landofthetrolls. I will look into those materials.
I can also recommend the Boswell book that landoftrolls cited, and Boswell's second book, Same-Sex Unions in Pre-Modern Europe. Just keep in mind that both of the books are insanely academic and a real slog.
Although it's out of print, Tom Horner's Jonathan Loved David is a more accessible look at the gay/Catholic connection.
And while I know nothing about it, a friend of mine has mentioned to me in passing that she has been part of something called GCN (Gay Christian Network). Again, I can't speak for it, but I've met a couple of people connected to it and it might be worth looking into.
There's a film called For the Bible Tells Me So that is supposed to be very good.
I worked on some of these issues at Georgetown last year, as the (obviously, Catholic) university was being pushed to ultimately accept the creation of an LGBTQ Resource Center. I wrote an article for a Jesuit higher education magazine entitled the "Integrated Catholic Gay Student" (http://www.marquette.edu/library/collections/archives/Conversations/No34_2008/no34_pesavento.pdf)
This article built off of some concepts that a group of us discussed, drawing from some recent books by James Alison (a priest who was booted for coming out, but a great guy, and a wonderful read), one of his more well-read books being, "Fragments Catholic and Gay"
Hope that makes a good start.
And, believe me, I hear ya on the realists vs idealists. It can be very very hard to "keep the faith" and by no means do I agree with the Vatican on everything, but I've found that enduring through the difficulties, which come from both those inside the Church (who don't think you should be there) and even friends outside the Church (who don't think you should be there), has deepened my faith.
I mean, seriously, the Gospels are pretty darn clear that we're here to support the outsiders and those who don't fit the mold instead of just blindly following the old narrow-minded farts in colorful robes.
Life's a crazy journey anyways.. at least mine won't be boring!
I grew up in a Methodist church (think music/potlucks and a leaning towards the left) and came out to my pastor before I came out to my parents. The conversation went perfectly and, as I hoped, he helped me give my parents some literature to think on. I think the one that was most helpful to them was a well-known piece called "Homosexuality and the Bible" by Walter Wink.
The interesting thing about the piece is that it is certainly for a Christian audience that may be skeptical about the whole thing. He does not try to convince the reader to go join PFLAG. Instead, it tears up all the biblical arguements against homosexuality, and then points the finger at hateful Christians.
The full text is here: http://www.forusa.org/articlesandresources/wink-homosexuality.html
Disclaimer: I have no idea what else is on that site - this is just the full link of text that came up when I did a search.
check out soulforce
HRC has a great resource called Out in Scripture that takes the readings used in the Christian church and talks about how they can help us understand how LGBT people can still fit with the Christian denomination. Here's the link: http://www.hrc.org/scripture/
Thanks, Philip, Domma, Zach, Christopher, Jose, and Mike. I will look into these books, articles, and web resources. I do appreciate your help.
I've found that most happy gays who maintain their faith do so with an underlying belief that their god made them that way and loves them for it. The gays that don't reconcile this belief remain very conflicted.
A friend of mine runs a website that has grown into an organization that hosts conferences, produces other media materials, etc. www.gaychristian.net
I second www.gaychristian.net It's an AWESOME resource and community
thanks, jterry, and anon#1. i will add it to my list. i couldn't agree with you more, jimbo. look at the train wreck, ted haggard, for example.
Check out the book, “Sins of the Scriptures: Exposing the Bible’s Texts of Hate to Reveal the God of Love”.
This book is written by one of the most outspoken liberal leaders of the Church in America, Episcopal retired bishop John Shelby Spong.
... he also happens to deny basically every article of the Nicene creed.
Here are a few good resources:
http://pomomusings.com/2009/01/19/jesus-the-bible-homosexuality-chapter-5/
http://www.reallivepreacher.com/rlparchive/node/633
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0664229395/wwwdrjackroge-20
These are more protestant in nature, but hopefully they're still helpful.
Also, if this person has had to deal with any religious "ex-gay" groups, there's actually an ex-ex-gay group out there helping queers cope with that kind of traumatic experience:
http://www.soulforce.org/
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