Tales Out of School
As a current worker in the three-ring circus that is the public education system, I feel like the proper guide for this tour of recent news stories about kids (some gay) in junior/high school. As will become apparent, though, I don’t always know how to respond:
Family of gay teen slain in Calif. blames school
So: what to think about the parents? the school system? On the one hand, the school has done what most GLBT activist types would support: allowed this boy to express what he feels to be his true gender identity/sexual orientation. On the other hand, imagine this from the parents’ perspective: your son is dead, he’s been killed because of his gender identity/sexual orientation, and the boy’s wearing “feminine clothing” and makeup was surely like waving a red flag in front of the homophobic bulls. But wait: shouldn’t the parents’ anger be directed at murderous homophobes, not the school system? Only the school system has a dress code that it apparently didn’t enforce (although I doubt, from my experience with school dress codes, that it would have addressed the idea of gender-appropriate clothing). Where are we left after all this?
Principal’s outing of gay student roils Fla. town
Yes, Florida, there is a generational divide! This story was actually oddly heartening: the kids rallying around their friends and not letting the administration’s obvious homophobia go unchallenged. 73-year-old local resident Bill Griffin says “We aren’t out to tar-and-feather anyone.” Uh-huh, except for the principal’s obviously inappropriate response at every step of the process. He actually laid hands on students in order to ascertain whether they were violating the (unconstitutional) dress code? Every public educator has it drilled into them as to exactly which situations warrant physical touch and which do not. This falls into the “do not” category.
A Town Torn Apart
As a confessed “bad homo” (I follow sports. And not just when half-nude Olympic swimmers and gymnasts take the floor!), I spend quite a bit of time on ESPN.com. Their “Outside the Lines” series is consistently fascinating. There’s only one line about gays in this lengthy article (the poor boy’s unfortunate misunderstanding about the nature of gay sex), but it’s beyond worth a read. Anecdotal evidence suggests to me that this kind of crap goes on a lot. It just rarely comes to public attention.
3 comments:
I agree, this stuff happens a lot. Bullying in school is one of the old facts of life and the "Town Torn Apart" story is just an escalationg of the violence kids have suffered. Abuse is one of those probablems that is continually brushed over. The Catholic Church is the huge gaping example, but here it is a school or a teacher failing to recognize what was happening in front of them. Sadly, another students wasn't able to help them.
Reading the article, it seems that the coaches feel like victims in a "Boys will be boys" situation.
Yeah, Boys will be boys and it is up to men to be men and stop them.
Good post. Got me thinking...
The Ventura, CA school system is not at fault. The school did not “allow” the student to cross dress, the parents did. Green Junior High simply continued its established precedent of apathy. In addition to ignoring and not enforcing its own dress code, the school dismissed the particular needs of this student by neglecting an opportunity to educate the faculty, staff and student body on gender issues. A school is not liable for how students are dressed when they arrive on school property.
The AP article does not mention the parent’s relationship to their own son nor their level of comfort with his gender identity. That absence is remarkable and suspicious. Parents who “allow” their son to walk out of the house in drag at his own risk hoping no harm will result are mistaken: they have placed their child in danger. Ultimately, the parents abdicated their responsibility to their child.
Finally, the article perpetuates the misguided connection between sexual orientation and gender identity disorder. The parents say their son was “subject to abuse because of his sexual orientation”. Not true: in this case their son was subject to abuse because of his cross gendered behavior. Ironically, the journalist’s imposition of gender dysphoria upon homosexuality is a perpetuation of precisely the same fatal ignorance demonstrated by both the parents and school. Sexual orientation is distinct from gender identity and gender role. Homosexuality, by definition, is same sex attraction. It does not involve a desire to be or behave as the opposite sex.
I agree with Philip: the anger and focus of the parents should be directed at the homicidal bigots who killed their son. I would, however, fault the school for dereliction of duty and hold them accountable.
I see the same institutional lethargy and apathy in Ponce de Leon, FL and Wilson, NY. The Florida high school principal misguidedly confuses personal animus with his job description and the school district permits that fallacy. Social institutions that have a responsibility to lead and educate are rescinding that role, enabling the very dysfunction that impedes their purpose. The result? Children learn to perpetuate bigotry by the tacit approval of persecution and violence they see embedded in the very institutions entrusted with their care.
Regarding Wilson, NY: there is a very clear line between pranks or hazing and a sexual molestation. Again, the school is neglecting a great opportunity to make this distinction clear to its coaching staff, faculty and students. Another “teaching moment” lost.
As a fellow “bad homo” (Gay Card revoked, proud non-member since 1995) I gotta say ESPNs Outside the Lines is a pretty good show but my favorite by far is Cheap Seats.
Thanks Philip for another interesting post. Glad to know there is a good person working the inside of the school system. Persevere.
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