The After Ellen Hot 100 List: Are We Really Still Crushing on Clea Duvall?
After Ellen.com came out with their annual Hot 100 list this week, which means I’ve spent entirely too much time drooling over pictures and dissecting the list with other lesbians. The list is a response to men’s magazines (like Maxim) that name the sexiest women. Since this year’s Maxim list names Marisa Miller (who?) as the hottest woman, AE’s list gives lezzies a chance to celebrate women who don't look like Barbies. But a lot of them still do, and there aren't many non-femmes on the list.
Tina Fey tops the list, which isn’t all that surprising. She ranked highly last year, and those glasses just make her so cute. Last year’s winner, Leisha Hailey, is number 5 this year. The L Word castmate Jennifer Beals clocks in at number 2. Really? In what world is Bette hotter than Alice?
Lesbian or bisexual women (or those who play them) have an edge on this list — every major L Word actress is on here, (are we really so unimaginative?) as are old school lesbian actresses like But I’m a Cheerleader’s Clea Duvall. And it seems like if any actress plays a lesbian in her career, she's more likely to turn up on here (Sandra Oh? hot?)
Oddly, the list also include AE bloggers, which only furthers my desire to get on next year's list (TNG readers, we can do this!).
Hilariously, The L Word's Elizabeth Keener (Dawn Denbo) is ranked #86. Lover Cindy is absent.
Ellen Page, Juno actress and possible lesbian, is #6. Ellen's coming out would fulfill the fantasies of several of my lezzie friends, though I don't find her particularly hot.
Also, Ellen Degeneres (#17) tops soon-to-be wifey Portia De Rossi (#39) by 22 spots. Now I wouldn't hesitate if Ellen wanted to bed me, but I think I'd get a wee bit more excited about the prospect of waking up next to Portia.
I'm happy that lesbi-chef Cat Cora is on the list, (to me, there isn't much hotter than women who can cook) but sort of wish my Top Chef lesbians were on here too. Well, maybe just Jenn and Zoi.
Also a bit weird: Gossip Girl's Blake Lively and Leighton Meester are on here, as is Emma Watson from Harry Potter. The first two play high schoolers (but are in their 20s), and Watson is 18.
Are there any noticeable oversights or absences? Who else would you include on the list?
13 comments:
(1) I have had a massive crush on Cat Cora for ages, and I had NO idea she was gay. How did I miss that boat?? Wow.
(2) Am I the only one who thinks Sigourney Weaver is hot? I mean, come on!
Wow, there are a lot of skinny fem white women on that list. Isn't this list just perpetuating the straight-male-fantasy version of lesbians, which as we all know is usually far from reality. As a gay man, many of the women on the list just look like the same person.
Do we really need a list of 100? Couldn't 10 satisfy? How about a list of 10 who are actually queer? Maybe TNG readers should construct our own list?
Where is Beth Ditto? JD Sampson? Carrie Brownstein? Local QPOC Me'Shell NdegeOcello? Maybe I'm just After "After Ellen."
Carrie Brownstein indeed!
Michael - agreed that 100 is a little extravagant. I have this long-standing theory that too many lesbians settle for whatever they can find, and this list is fo sho proof. That being said - Beth Ditto? Really? Maybe I'm just an a-hole, but great music doesn't necessarily translate into "hot."
Sandra, however, does translate into hot.
Anyway, donde esta lezzie of the summer, Samantha Ronson?
Why not Beth Ditto? She has a pretty face, and not everyone is fixated on waistlines.
What was that joke I learned in 6th Grade? Something comparing "fat girls" to tricycles. They're fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to find out. Har har.
Ohemgee - no fair! You just made me sound like a jerk extraordinaire! TNGers, those are not my words!
@stephanie.
Here's your chance to redeem yourself... What is not hot about Beth Ditto, in your eyes. Attraction is subjective, of course. With the resurgence of burlesque lately, where women of all proportions are taking it all off in the name of art and sexiness, why can't a "big girl" be on someone's list of hot women? You are allowed to reply, "I don't like big girls" and that would be fine. Just own it.
Oh Michael, you are cornering me into an asshole corner!
Okay, I will admit, and am never shy to talk about how I am big fan of the skinny bitch (see: Sam Ron comment above).
So, yes, I guess part of my personal lack of attraction to B- Ditto is her body type. But I'm also not generally attracted to girls who wear a lot of sparkling eye shadow, baby-doll/any dresses, or long hair. That said, I don't mean that in an over-arching way, but just in the sense of if I was composing a list of my favorite hotties, Beth Ditto wouldn't make it.
Anyway, I still have a lot of Beth Ditto love.
Oh Michael, you are cornering me into an asshole corner!
Okay, I will admit, and am never shy to talk about how I am big fan of the skinny bitch (see: Sam Ron comment above).
So, yes, I guess part of my personal lack of attraction to B- Ditto is her body type. But I'm also not generally attracted to girls who wear a lot of sparkling eye shadow, baby-doll/any dresses, or long hair. That said, I don't mean that in an over-arching way, but just in the sense of if I was composing a list of my favorite hotties, Beth Ditto wouldn't make it.
Anyway, I still have a lot of Beth Ditto love.
I'll take Bette and Ellen over Alice and Portia by a hair.
i'm writing in eleanor holmes norton cuz how effing cute was she on saturday?
Oh, Ellen, how your list disappoints...This Top 100 list was the most generic snoozefest I've seen in a while. It was almost like someone grabbed all the issues from the past six months of US Weekly and just picked out all the skinny bitches that people have called a lesbian...
As for Beth Ditto - I don't think it's question of waistline, but a question of how she comports herself. Half the time I see pictures of Beth Ditto, she's practically naked, sweaty, her makeup smeared, eyes rolled back into her head, and her mouth is contorted into some odd lezzie howl. But, when she pulls herself together and isn't flashing her sweaty lovely lady lumps, I'll agree that she is hot.
I also think people get lost in her rocker appeal - she doesn't give a shit what you think or say, she's just going to rock out. But does that make her a Top 100 hottie?
I agree with Stephanie that when you are hot a fraction of the time, you definitely don't qualify for a Top 100 list...
I'm sorry that I won't be more intelligent in this comment. I am writing to simpy say that all future pictures of Jennifer Beals must feature her wearing a pair chaps.
This must be what it feels like to be a gay man,
SZM
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