Thoughts On "Town"

DC's newest gay megaclub opens this weekend. Here are some thoughts on TOWN, thanks to Dave, and Google Chat.

Dave:
town opening is like....more than i feel ready to deal with
me: $12 cover and drinks same price as Halo.
fuck town
Dave:
Yeah
Great
fuck em
friday is supposed to be a bit more chill but sat. is like total house circuit party 35 y/o "party boi"
thing
it makes me itch
me:
like I said, fuck town
Dave:
word
me:
don't make me say it 3 times or my ass might end up in Kansas.
Dave:
lol
me:
or candyman will pop up in my bathroom mirror
with a fucking lolipop and some glowsticks taped to his hook
Dave:
uh huh
with pills for teeth
I see some like horrible drag queen / clown monster thing
i may have to photoshop this
me:
I hear it's pretty inside
Dave:
yeah, there are a couple pics in MW
ill wait a month
i dont like going to things on the first night, i got nothing to prove
i did it with BeBar, which was one of the most annoying nights in recent memory
me:
why?
Dave:
supposed to be invite only
but they passed out seven million of them, Linda Cropp [who i hate] was canvassing the line
which lasted an hour
impossible to get drinks, total chaos, broken glass everywhere
but mainly standing in line for an hour
i live in DC
i dont do lines. its not NY, get over yourself
me:
Town must have lots of friends. That's a lot of space to fill on invite only.
Dave:
oh towns not doin it
this was bebar
me:
I'm not sure I want to deal with the chaos of opening night at Town
Dave:
no way jose
me:
Broken glass and long lines and all. Not to mention, I hear Linda Cropp might be there.
She's one of Ella Fitzgerald's back-up dancers now.
It's gonna be a hot mess.
Dave: hahaha
Yup
if i go out i want something low key
me:
low key in relation to town? Like what, a Redskins game? An air show?
Btw, do those 35 y/o bois still exist? I thought after velvet closed they all went in a K-hole and
died
Dave:
they enter a protective hibernation and reemerge when a new club opens
me:
Maybe they vacuum sealed themselves inside Ed Bailey's underground fortress, waiting to be exhumed to nightwalk the earth.
Dave: they've been underground
Haha
Exactly
they're thawing as we speak
thats why DC has needed so many temps since nation closed
me:
LOL. Maybe we should reconsider and go anyway. I'll bring my camera. We can pretend we're national geographic, reporting on the lost tribe of faggotry.
Dave:
we should wear safari hats, eat mushrooms and REALLY get into it
like carry bushy twigs to hide behind in the bar,
shuffling from trash can to trash can on the periphery of the dance floor
me:
I wonder if young gay kids will look at the magazine and jerk off to it, like young straight boys did with African tribal women. NG was such a hit with young guys who couldn't get their hands on porn.
Boob is boob, you know.
Dave:
the muscle daddies have those
me:
Maybe Parents can read it with their gay kids. "Son, this is what the gay was like long ago, back
before they evolved and started thinking erect."
Dave:
Lol
Haha
scott refers to it as "old fashioned gay"
i refer to it as "a parody of one's own self"
me:
Dave, no one enables my inner cunt like you. I can't wait to go to town with you.
Dave:
Lol
i know we're such haters
me:
I prefer the term, "Social Critic"
Dave: YES
brilliant, i love that

Town opens this Saturday.