Monday, March 09, 2009

TNG Flashback: Is Dating Dead?

The work day is almost over. We hope you use your last ounce of concentration to revisit this year-old TNG article. Originally published by Ms. Cavanaugh on 3/10/2008

I was having a conversation with the best friend the other night about the last dates we went on. Mine was in July. As in I haven’t been on a date in eight months. But in that time, I have had sex with a number of people. (To avoid sounding promiscuous, I will not say the number, other than it is more than five but less than ten). Does this seem right? Chances are if you’re a single person in any city, the same is true for you too.

I entertained the notion that maybe I’m just easy. But surveys conducted among friends show that the same is true for them too. People can’t remember the last dates they went on, but they remember their last three one night stands. Something about this really doesn’t seem right to me.


So is dating dead? Do we all just hook up and not need to go on dates or learn about each other? Is there no need to form more meaningful connections? Have people lost the desire for more than just sex? When I go out to bars, no one asks for my phone number, but they ask me to go home with them. When I do go, it’s because I know that it’s a random thing and wouldn’t turn into anything anyway. One time I gave someone the choice, and he picked just taking me home. I went, but it was not good for my self esteem. When I went out this weekend, someone I talked to for awhile assumed that I was taking them home, and this assumption made it game over for me.

Maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic, but some night I actually want someone to ask for my phone number, call me, go on a date, and THEN kiss me. After this weekend, I've decided to set this limit for myself: no sex without a date first. I'll check back in with you when I haven't had sex in 6 months and am ready to lose my mind.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

As a young, gay male with a seemingly refreshing (ie: the desire to actually date) view on dating, it seems very difficult to even get past the first few dates. I think you should keep your eye on the prize and settle for no less.

Anonymous said...

haha i've set a similar rule for myself, and its been about 5 months as a result. I don't like this rule any longer, but do have less awkward/weird self-esteem days as a result. Shitty trade off..