Each Other's Mothers: The New Gay Interview

I first saw Each Other’s Mothers by accident. I was going to see some opening band at the Black Cat, Each Other’s Mothers were the headliner but I didn’t know anything about them and didn’t want to be out too late on a school night. I pretty much abandoned this plan as soon as they started to play. Queer ladies playing smart, danceable punk rock in a totally unconventional way.

They’re headlining this Wednesday’s Phasefest showcase, so last week I called up EOM guitarist Kathi Wathi and beat around the bush about her band’s math rock sound and queer visibility in the punk scene, among other things.

TNG: How’d Each Other’s Mothers get together?

Kathi Wathi: We’re all from New York and grew up involved with music and punk. Allison (the bassist) and I have been playing in all girl bands since we were fifteen. We’d even played with Angie’s (the drummer) band in high school, but didn’t know her at the time. Allison saw Rachel fiddling on a guitar at a party, and was like, “Oh my god we need her!” We were pretty much on the hunt and adamant for having only girls play together, and there are only so many out there.

TNG: So it’s important for you guys to identify as an all-girl band?

KW: Yeah, absolutely. I feel like it’s always been pretty hard to find [all girl spaces] but we’ve been creating it as we go. We get really excited to play with other girls. If I ever book shows, I always make sure there are plenty of women in the line-up. So yeah, I guess we got together because we were all part of this scene of women making music with other women.

TNG: You guys are a four piece, so who’s Sophia/Dorothy/Blanche/Rose?
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KW: I don’t know who those people are!

TNG: The Golden Girls!

KW: Oh my god, ha ha--I’ve never once seen an episode of the golden girls. A lot of my dyke friends are like, “You’ve never seen Golden Girls??” So I get the sense that it was pretty dykey.

TNG: How’d you guys get your name?

KW: We were named by a really good friend ours. We identify with the name because we’re all best friends, and really love each other like we’re each other’s mothers. So that’s basically what it is, our unconditional love for each other. Not to get all cheesy!

TNG: Who are your influences?

KW: We all come from a punk, hardcore, emo background. Specifically for this band, our influences are Q and Not U, Fugazi, Black Eyes—a lot of D.C. bands actually. I guess like the math-ier side of post punk? And then punk bands like Algernon Cadwallader, who are from Philly, and a lot of our friends’ bands. It’s hard to say exactly what our sound is.

TNG: Yeah, like I think you guys sound math-y but then I’m always like, what the hell is math-rock exactly?

KW: Yeah, that’s a question we get a lot. When we played during lunch at Willie Mae Rock Camp for Girls (NYC), they have Q and As with bands after their performances, and the questions are always like, so what IS math rock? And I find it hard to define. I enjoy a little math with my rock, but I can’t say I really know how to read music or really understand how to distinguish different time signatures—I’m not good at that stuff, but I know what something odd feels like. Rachel especially is really like the math rock fan—she’s really into Make Believe which is a really math-y band. I like to mix it up, and that’s the hybrid we bring to writing songs collectively.

TNG: How do you write songs?

KW: We all connect in this way that I never have with any other band. We kind of have our own language. We’ll be playing together and be like, okay, do a “dee-dle-ee-dee” like five times and go into that after the second “fwumph”. it doesn’t make any sense, but I think when you’re like really in it, really in the zone and connecting with each other . . . It happens in a number ways, sometimes just like a jam—I don’t like to use that word, but—

TNG: Oh no, you guys are totally a jam band!

KW: Haha, yeah, totally! Yeah, I guess we’ll just be fiddling around and then Angie’s really good at picking up with anyone she’s playing with—she’s really good with on-the-spot kind of stuff. Rachel and I will put together a basic song structure and then the rhythm section will just kind of build on that, or vice versa, we’ll build on top of the rhythm.

TNG: So you’re like a jazz math rock jam band.

KW: Sometimes the way that I write, specifically, is I think of what would sound funny or interesting. So whether something sounds punk or jazz-like I’m more into, "Ha ha that’s ridiculous! Let’s put that in here." I don’t really know anything about writing punk or jazz, but it’s funny.

TNG: You guys are definitely doing some weird shit with guitar sounds. I saw one video where you’re playing your guitar with a water bottle.

KW: Playing my guitar with a drum stick, or a water bottle, or a whistle—when I saw Black Eyes for the first time, they were using broken cymbals on the ground and stomping on cymbals for added percussion, and the guitarist/singer was using this metal rod to make different noises with his guitar, and I was like, that’s perfect! So I guess I can say that I ripped off Black Eyes. At then at rock camp, a handful of camper bands ended up using drum sticks on their guitars, or being all instrumental, or having gang vocals the way that we do in one of our songs. So I’m definitely not opposed to spreading the joy of playing your music or your instrument in a nontraditional way. If it sounds cool to you, do it.

TNG: You came down to D.C. this summer to do a workshop at our rock camp—how much does your work with Girls Rock influence you as a band?

KW: Willie Mae is so important. In 2006, I worked the first session of rock camp, and then Rachel joined in on the second session and we got to coach a band together. And we’ve just been obsessed with rock camp ever since and talking about it nonstop. This year, all the Mothers did the first session at Willie Mae, and it was a really, really great feeling, cause I think that was exactly what we all needed when we were growing up. Being able to play for the girls, coach the bands—Willie Mae is like the heart of all of us.

TNG: It’s especially cool that you all were an example for these girls of a band playing in this weird style, with improvised sounds, and not traditionally trained musicians.

KW: Right, especially with Girls Rock—I’ve worked at co-ed rock camps before and it’s a world of a difference. Girl’s camps are so much more about empowerment through music and not going by these straight, white, male standards of what good music is—you know like if you can’t improvise on this or solo like that then you’re not an exceptional musician. Whereas we feel like, yeah let’s create different ways to play music and feel good about what we’re doing. That’s exactly how we came into Each Other’s Mothers—like, so, what are we going to do? Whatever sounds good and feels good to play. I feel like that’s one of the core values of rock camp for girls.

TNG: Do you feel like there are queer visibility issues within the punk music scene?

KW: We play a lot of punk shows, and they tend to be hetero-dominated. I find it vital for Each Other’s Mothers to have a place in queer music communities—especially because I feel like it’s the kind of music I don’t see a lot in queer music communities, and I wonder about that.

A friend of mine is an editor at a dyke magazine, and they were putting together their music issue and she asked for some suggestions and I made it a point to mention bands who aren’t really involved in the queer music scene for whatever reason, but are all girls and some are queer-identified and are fucking awesome--like Taigaa!. A lot of lady bands I see in mainstream queer magazines I’ve never actually heard, and I think that’s a problem—women or queers being seen but not heard. Like one just off the top of my head, The Cliks, have you seen them?

TNG: I used to see their video on LOGO all the time, but no, I’ve never actually seen them perform.

KW: There can be a mysterious lack of community, as far as the queer music scene goes. I’m like an aging riot grrl, and I feel like what was going on in the early- and mid-90s was so amazing, and I wonder what it is that doesn’t really allow for that sort of queer, punk, girl music scene these days.

TNG: I wonder if a lot of it is the sort of expectation that we will hear about queer lady music through television—like as the featured band on the L Word or on LOGO? Like this is a screen for legitimizing queer music. It’s very retroactive queer MTV or something.

KW: Yeah, and then the bands are so stylized. And meanwhile, there are so many amazing girl bands around right now, especially in New York—it’s definitely a choice, to be on LOGO or in a mainstream queer magazine—it just sucks that that might be the only way these bands are seen.

TNG: So what’s next for Each Other’s Mothers?

KW: We have a demo out now, and our plan is to record a full-length sometime in November. We’re all in other bands, so it’s a little hard to coordinate time for recording, and I’m actually out of all those demos, so really we only have the show experience to offer at this point!

See Each Other’s Mothers this Wednesday, Sept. 10, at Phasefest 2008, along with:

Turboslut (D.C.)
Trophy Wife (D.C.)
Mr. Moccasin (Bmore)
junebullet (First Ladies DJ Collective, D.C.)

Doors at 7 pm / 21+
$10 / tix at door or in advance
Phase 1
525 8th St. SE