TNG Zack Recieves a Message from "Fist Boy" and "Super Cum."
Prank calls: They're not just for middle schoolers anymore. I woke up Saturday morning with a most unusual phone message, marked urgent, which I have transcribed for you below the fold. Whatever my two filthy-mouthed callers may think, I am not interested in any of the below acts. Especially ones that may lodge shoelaces in my lower intestine:"Hey there you filthy slut, you fucking beast animal. Anyway, met you last night and you said you wanted to be doublestuffed, maybe fisted even. Double fisted. One fist, one ankle. All the way up to my knee. Inside your pulsating, cum-drizzling whorish ass. I'm gonna let you talk to my sidekick, Fist Boy. Come here, Fist Boy. Tell this little nellie bottom what we're going to do to him. [Audible giggling in background.] You got Fist Boy giggling, he is giggling at the thought of your nellie, pansy ass being able to take both of our dicks. Yeah, you think you're up to the challenge? Are you, Hulk-a-maniac? Fist Boy and Super Cum are going to fucking double penetrate your ass!!! So get ready! RAAAAAA!!!!!"
As horrifying as it was to receive this message, typing it out here has given me some insights. First, I was at Nellie's the night before I received it. This might explain all the references to my being "Nellie." Secondly, the Hulk reference and the animal noise at the end leaves little doubt as to the identity of the caller: It is clearly Macho Man Randy Savage. Oh yeah!
But if its not Randy, any guesses as to who it was? Or why they are so interested in fisting me? That is an act I've never felt the desire to partake in. And if I was curious, I doubt an anonymous phone message would be enough to let some strangers put their feet in my ass.
And to Super Cum: You need to work on your dirty talk. "Cum-drizzling ass" may be the grossest thing I've ever heard. Dicks drizzle cum. Asses don't. In my experience, people who think that's what sex talk sounds like have never actually had sex.
7 comments:
sounds like a friend playing a joke on you OR someone who doesn't like you.
My favorite part of this is that he marked the message as "urgent."
You accidentally gave out your real number instead of a fake one and this is what you get. That is why I just don't give out my number.
You can't criticize someone's dirty talk because it always sounds stupid unless you are engaged in some sort of act.
In defense of "super cum", youre ass could theoretically be "drizzling cum" if you had just finished being the bottom in a bareback gangbang (case in point-http://www.treasureislandmedia.com/TreasureIslandMedia_2007/xcart/product.php?productid=16152) The only thing I find offensive about this is that the call wasn't even remotely humorous. A good crank should engage people on the other end of the line and draw them in first before levelling the punchline for maximum discomfort on part of the victim (see any crank yankers skit-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgE4yuPGmJU)
I wish I wrote this e-mail.
totes michael's 4 year old nephew and pals.
Zack,
Regarding cum-drizzling asses: sometimes the difference between gross and hot is just whether you're looking at it before or after your orgasm.
Post a Comment