Confessions of a Property Manager

My first job out of college was working as a property manager at an apartment builidng near Logan Circle. One aspect of this position is assisting tenants throughout the day. This service is usually meant for apartment maintenance and consultation. Some people, however, take the word assistance, and shorten it to “assistant.”

While sitting at my desk, after watching a homeless man pee on my window, a tenant walked in and asked me what parking space she had. She had been a tenant at the building for 3 months, and had her parking spot assigned as soon as she arrived. For respectful purposes, let’s call her Denise.

As I was getting out the parking list to answer her question, she stopped me abrubtly “Ok Yeah thanks, I have to go so I don’t have time to wait for you to look.” “All right.” I said putting the book back in my drawer. As Denise rushed out of the office, she paused, then turned around to add “Oh and once you find my parking spot, could you draw a diagram of the indoor parking lot on a piece of paper and slip it under my door? It’s really confusing down there, and the spaces are not clearly numbered.”

Instead of elaborating on how our parking lot only has 20 spaces, in chronological order, clearly marked with thick dark paint, I just stared and smiled, hoping she would trip over her kitten heels as she hurried out, too important to know how, or where to park her vehicle.

I got out a piece of paper, planning to draw an impeccable rendition of the downstairs parking lot. One with shading, cross hatching, sketches of each car in the lot, even the piping that ran through the ceiling. I took out the parking list and looked for the tenant’s name. There she was. First one on the list. Denise. Parking space…Number One.

Not only is parking space number one the first space in the lot, it is directly in front of the door as you step into the garage. It is impossible to enter the garage without stepping onto space number one. The area is clearly marked on the wall in black paint: #1. The door to the garage functions as the only entrance and the exit way to and from the building. I tried to imagine the scenario that would have made Denise unable to find her spot. Maybe she uses a secret entry way that directs her to other spaces such as number 8 or number 19! I pictured Denise entering the garage in disarray, and running off to another secret exit way, never crossing paths with mystical space number one.

When I got back into my office, I wrote Denise a note.

“Hello Denise:
Your parking space is Number One. This space is directly in front of the door to the garage. As you enter the parking lot, look slightly to your right. There you will see your space and the number “1” written on the wall in dark paint. If you need a diagram, please do not hesitate to call or email me with any questions or concerns.”