Part Impossible Dream, Part Internet Porn, Part Serving Dish and Part Syringe: A Gay Baby Success Story

There are several ways for gays to acquire a baby, popularly known, but not in this space, as a gayby (which sounds too much like scabies). We can go egg shopping. We can adopt in states not named Florida. We can pay a lot of money to a sperm bank and cross our fingers. We can accidentally get knocked up (not recommended). But one of the cheapest and easiest ways, not to mention one that gives you choice in the small matter of whose genes you're propagating, is to team up with a good and willing male friend. I am lucky to know all parties in one such success story, and the kind donor agreed to chat with The New Gay.

TNG Jenny: May I use you anonymously for a TNG post about guys who donate sperm to lesbian friends?

Uncle Name Withheld: Sure. You wanna interview me?

TNG Jenny: That'd be great actually.

Uncle Name Withheld: Shoot.

TNG Jenny: Tell us about your relationship with the lesbians prior to the impregnation event.

Uncle Name Withheld: I knew my lesbian baby mama since college. One night, we were doing acid together, and she said that she'd need sperm for a baby one day. I volunteered. Just eight or so short years later, a little bundle of joy was conceived, part impossible dream, part internet porn, part serving dish and part syringe.

TNG Jenny: I know many lesbians are hesitant to use donors they know, because of possible legal troubles down the road. Why should these ladies trust you? Were documents signed outlining your rights/responsibilites or lack thereof?

Uncle Name Withheld: I guess I should also add that we were roommates for two years also, during which time I got to know her wonderful partner. I would not have done such a thing if I had not believed they'd be perhaps the world's most responsible parents. It irks me to hear someone even suggest otherwise. It makes me fighting mad, actually. Like throw chairs and shit. I'm very protective of my fake gay family.

TNG Jenny: Heehee

Uncle Name Withheld: We signed legal documents making certain I would have neither resposibilities nor rights.

TNG Jenny: And you feel good about that? Would you describe your relationship to the child as Uncle-y, or more just the offspring of your good friends? Also, what if she someday wants a different kind of relationship with you? Have you talked with the parents about that?

Uncle Name Withheld: Good questions, one and all. First, definitely uncle-y. I think she calls me Uncle Name Withheld sometimes. Which is really a mouthful for a two-and-a-half-year old.

TNG Jenny: Shall I call you "REDACTED?"

Uncle Name Withheld: But she manages it masterfully, because she's got an astounding ability with language for someone so young. She'll likely be the next Don Delillo by the time she's 10. I like 'name withheld.'

TNG Jenny: You seem proud. I'll call you Uncle Name Witheld

Uncle Name Withheld: I am proud of her. I am more proud of J&B [the moms], as they are amazing parents. She's nothing to be all that proud of just yet — she still shits her pants and rubs food in her hair. Nobody's proud of me for that still. We have discussed the possibility that she will one day want some kind of different relationship with me, and none of us are averse to that at this point, though there are certainly no plans in place. That's definitely a take-it-as-it comes sort of thing — sort of like your lesbo friends asking you to come in a dish for the purposes of conception.

TNG Jenny: it sounds like a win-win-win-win

Uncle Name Withheld: We've all fulfilled a biological imperative, albeit in an unexpected way. I was, of course, chosen because I'm a certain kind of personality as well. I'm not the parenting kind, but Ii can uncle like nobody's business. Those two are definitely the parenting kinds, so it made sense.

TNG Jenny: Thanks for your insight Uncle Name Withheld. Parting thoughts?

Uncle Name Withheld: That's it? Ok.

TNG Jenny: is there more?

Uncle Name Withheld: Hmmm.... It's not something one goes into lightly, even if one is slightly drunk when it goes down. I would suggest that anyone who does it carefully weigh the kind of person you are, the kind of people you're getting into it with, and the kind of people you all believe you'll become. Definitely consult w a lawyer. Don't go into this shit without a contract and mind your business in your subsequent relationship with the parents and the kid — this is not your child.

TNG Jenny: Thanks, man. You're a boon to TNG and also to lesbians.