The Indie Rock Fag Stalks Neko Case

"The Indie Rock Fag" is TNG co-founder Zack's new weekly column. Please be kind to it.

Original illustration by Ryan Blomberg.

Disappointment, Neko Case be thy name! The flame-haired Americana chanteuse with the unreal voice put out her newest studio album, Middle Cyclone, two days ago. Which means she has two sold-out DC dates booked at the 930 Club for April. Which means that I have been told, once again, that she does not have any time in her schedule to be interviewed by me. Granted, she is one of the best-loved singers in American and I'm just some kid in a t-shirt fucking around on a computer. She doesn't owe me anything. But I have seen her — either solo or with her other band, The New Pornographers — 4 times already and tried to interview her every time. Usually this just involves pestering her publicist with emails, but at last Septembers Austin City Limits music festival I took a more active role and waited for her for three hours in the press tent, just in case. She never showed.

Though my interview requests for the current tour have once again taken the form of email flurries, I am starting to realize that all my tenacity is verging on a darker name. So if I'm going to stalk Neko Case I might as well articulate some of the reasons why. You can check out a full list, along with a Neko Case mixtape, below the fold. All songs not hyperlinked are included in it.

1. Her Ridiculously Obtuse Lyrics: Who would you rather spend an hour at dinner with: Boo Radley or Andrew Dice Clay? Someone who puts every facet of their personality on public display might make for good tabloid fodder, but doesn't leave a whole lot of mystique to unpack. On the other hand, Neko's lyrics are so elliptical that they beg to be pored over like some tattooed, PBR-drinking scholar of the talmud. "Margaret vs Pauline," "Deep Red Bells" and "Things That Scare Me" seem to touch on the injustices of the American class system. "Maybe Sparrow, "Fox Confessor..." and "The Tigers Have Spoken" use animal imagery to, maybe, make deep points about love and relationships. And who knows what the hell "Star Witness" is about? I personally think its a retelling of "An Occurence At Owl Creek Bridge" with a car accident, but I could be wrong. Thats why I'd rather ask her myself and get a straight answer.

2. I Owe Her An Apology: About a year ago I blurted out something insensitive at the most recent DC New Pornographers show (April '08, if you're wondering) and Neko called me a douchebag. I pretty much deserved it, but have never had a chance to say I was sorry. Doing something jerky and not clearing the air drives me crazy. If I snap at my boyfriend about something inconsequential in the morning I can't enjoy myself until I can track him down on gchat and apologize. I still feel bad about something mean (yet warranted) I said to my college roommate when I was 19. It would be nice to be able to say to her "Hey Neko, someone you've never met and have never given a thought to feels bad. How would you feel about assuaging him?"

3. I want her to sing at my wedding: One of the most perfect days of my life so far — October 27, 2007 — culminated with a near-magical New Pornographers concert. It might have been the weed n' whiskey combo I ingested before hand, it might have been the halloween costumes and close proximity of my boyfriends' hand. It might have been the fact that no one called me a douchebag. But when Neko belted out "Go Places" (a song which, granted, she didn't write) I was struck so fully with the size of her voice that I wanted to harness it to power my house and end war. Barring that, I just want a handle on what makes her so compelling as an artist and a semi-public figure. And once that happens we'll become best friends and she'll wear a seafoam green dress to my nuptials and belt out the world's most ethereal covers of "Precious and Few" and "Every Breath You Take." (A song which is itself about stalking. See how I come full circle?)

4. I Like To Pretend She's A Lesbian: The first time I saw Neko solo (August 16, 2007, if anyone is counting) my friend Rachel pointed out that there seemed to be some sexual tension between her and her backup singer, Kelly. It was probably just the overactive imagination of a lesbian and gay man who were too far back in the 9:30 Club to really pick up nuances, but since then its been fun to look for sapphic tinges where there probably are none. What exactly is the relationship between Margret and Pauline? Did Neko have a brown-haired lady that "fed" her when she was a "baby?" Why does it seem so incongruous to her character in "People Got a Lotta Nerve" when she sings about being a "man-eater? More than anything, the opaque nature of her songwriting just reminds me of the secrecy I used to practice when I was concerned the whole world would infer my sexuality from a simple turn of phrase.

If I actually got to ask her this, though, chances are she's probably just say "Fuck you, I'm no lesbian. I've forgotten more about sucking dick than you ever knew." But a guy can dream, right? Its for that reason that I actually haven't read her new interview with the New York Times. All it takes is one mention of a boyfriend or husband for the dream to get shattered.

5: I Want To, Damnit!: It's just that simple. I've worked my fingers to the bone sending interview request emails. Made my neck and left shoulder sore by pinching a phone between them on the times that I tried to call her publicist while also typing up a post. I got a very mild sunburn waiting around in the Austin City Limits press tent to see if she's show up. I ate too many sandwiches because I had nothing else to do there, for Christs' sake! Who does a guy have to blow around here to get an interview with Neko Case? Ahem. Sorry for that. What I meant to say is that she is a talented artist and intriguing, enigmatic figure and I would be honored to pick her brain.

So there you have it. Any tips about how I can either make this happen or get over it? Anyone out there in TNG-ville have a similar obsession?

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