W.W.S.D. - Not So Fancy Footwork

WWSD is an advice column for TNG readers posted every other Wednesday. Do you have a question for Summer Camp? Send it to her at wwsd@thenewgay.net.

Dear Summer,

I'm not a very good dancer. I like to dance, but I might as well be standing on a street corner swinging twigs over my head when I'm letting my body move naturally to music. Sometimes a combination of beer, weed, and resignation lets me relax enough to boogie, but it's rare. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is a great dancer. Often, he'll want to dance and I won't. So I end up standing against a wall watching him have a good time. Or he'll dance with me, at my awkward pace, instead of with people who can actually get down. Any advice? Should I take lessons? Should we confine our nightlife to bridge and boxed wine at home? Please let me know.

Two Left Feet and No Balls

Dear Two Left Feet,

Thanks for your letter. Though I'm a huge fan of wine that comes in square containers, there should be more to nightlife than stay-at-home card parties. We gotta boost your confidence and get you on the dance floor. Dancing in clubs can be very intimidating. Interpreting music and expressing it through free-form rhythmic movements can make one feel very vulnerable. And sometimes look like a fool!

Luckily, I don't suffer from this affliction because I trained at the Dionne Warwick Solid Gold School of Danse, but most people aren't so lucky, including you! So, it looks like you're in a pickle! But one that is easy to overcome, and Summer Camp is here to help you.

Does this look familiar? Do you recognize the choreographically challenged dancer? Look at him! Not too coordinated, is he? Kind of looks like he's having a seizure. I can't stop laughing at him.

He looks ridiculous. And based on your (WTF) tree branch on a street corner description, I'm guessing that you look ridiculous when you're dancing. But that's okay. It's all about attitude. You gotta sell it like a hooker and act like your pathetic twig-swinging jig is the shit!

When I need inspiration, I often turn to pop culture (and gas-huffing). Pop culture holds a mirror up to real life and makes my problems seem surmountable. Pop culture is filled with powerful stories of bad dancers who go on to conquer the elusive dance floor.

Have you seen the movie, Can't Buy Me Love? There's an emotional scene in the movie that features Patrick Dempsey aka McDreamy from Sleepless Doctors in Seattle or something...I can't remember the name of the show cause it's STUPID! In the climactic scene, he gets his entire high school student body to do a dance based on an African Anteater ritual that he saw on TV. The dance was kee-razy, but everyone did it. Because he brought it!

Or how about Cameron Diaz in Charlie's Angels (which, BTW, is an underrated movie). The actress who people love to hate, or hate to love, dances like a fool on Soul Train. But notice that she does it with pizazz and panache! It worked for her, and it can work for you!

Or how about the infamous "steel-town girl" on a Saturday night, lookin' for the fight of her life? You know that in the real-time world no one sees her at all, they all say she's crazy! But still, she found a way of locking rhythms to the beat of her heart, changing woman into life. When all was said and done, she had danced into the danger zone, where a dancer becomes a dance.

The point I'm trying to make is: Don't take it seriously. Get out there and let loose. Have a good time. Be a maniac on the dance floor.

It sounds like your bf is a good guy, so I'm sure he'll support you. Granted, shrugging off self-consciousness is really hard work that takes a lot of effort, but just like Debbie Allen said in the opening credits to the TV series Fame, "You got big dreams and right here is where you start payin'...in sweat!"

Hope to see you sweatin' on the dance floor!

xoxo
Summer

P.S. If you're the kind of guy that prefers to learn via lessons, I made this video for you. I took a instructional video and updated the music a little bit. Enjoy!

P.P.S. Don't forget to become a fan of Summer Camp on facebook.