In The Ladies' Room: A Valentine's Day Lesson in Giving and Receiving

This week, TNG Events Planner Amelie explains how Valentine's Day can get stressful once you realize that you're not the only one hoping for chocolates and flowers.

When I came out my freshman year of college, one of the things I was most looking forward to was Valentine's Day. Though I can walk the walk and talk the talk of a progressive woman, at the end of the day, I love some romance and some flowers. So you can imagine my disappointment when my freshman year equaled no Valentine, as did sophomore year, junior year and senior year.

But finally, this year I had a Valentine. Only there's one thing about Valentine's Day that I forgot to think about: I had to get someone a present, not just sit there and receive one.

In reality, getting a present for one's significant other shouldn't be a huge a big deal. Some flowers, maybe some chocolates; things like that say romance. Unfortunately, while I like to be on the receiving end of romantic gestures, I'm not that good at producing them. Unless they're food related, of course - romantic steak dinner? No problem. Romantic Valentine's Day gift? A little trickier.

It all started with my girlfriend and I casually talking about what kind of flowers we liked. I couldn't remember any names, and neither could she. We moved on and finished watching Ace of Cakes. But then a few days later, the following exchange took place.

Ladyfriend: I like orchids. What about you?
Me: Yeah I like orchids. They're nice.
Ladyfriend: No, what kind of flowers do you like?

At that point, I realized she had not meant, "I like orchids, do you like orchids? Maybe we should get some orchids to decorate my room," like I had originally thought. She was planning. And suggesting. For the V-Day. It suddenly became clear that my original idea of giving her a nice homemade card and the completed sticker-by-number unicorn mosaic I started for her when I was bored one day was not going to suffice. I knew she was going to make a really sweet, romantic gesture, and I wanted to be able to do the same.

On TV, people make Valentine's day seem easy. You go to the flower website, click buttons, and your loved one gets flowers. It is not this way in real life. You have to think about things like:

1. Are these flowers going to be ugly in real life? Do they just look pretty on the interweb?
2. Will these flowers be delivered by 12:30 pm, when my ladyfriend leaves work?
3. Is it worth it to pay $24.00 extra for delivery when I am short on dollar bills?

In the days leading up to Valentine's day, these questions were running through my head like horses at the fairgrounds. And stressing me out big time. Which is why I called a local florist a few days in advance to see if they would be open on Valentine's Day. That way, I figured, I could get the flowers that day. The florist could help me, and I could hand-deliver them. After confirming this plan and its romance potential with some friends/members of the TNG staff, I moved forward.

And, I must say, things went almost perfectly. The florist was very nice. After I awkwardly said I was getting flowers for my girlfriend, not my mother or boyfriend as she had offered, she gave the wide-eyed "OH-you're-gay-I'm-tolerant-that's-wonderful" nod and proceeded to ask me all about what colors and flowers she liked until my head was spinning. Finally I think I said "purple and yellow" to colors (which I made up)and then, I heard her say "orchid." After that I was set. Orchids, in a bunch. No vase. Some decorative leaves would be lovely, thanks. How many dollars? Here's my debit card. Farewell, flower shop, I'm off to surprise my lady!

In the end, all the stress was worth it. She was very happy, and very surprised. But I did learn an important lesson: just like Christmas, Valentine's Day is more about giving than receiving. It's not just about you shoving chocolates down your face as fast as you can. That's what you do February 15th, when all Valentine's candy is half-price at the CVS.