Dear Belly
Dear Belly,
We need to talk. I realize that we are getting a little older, but I’m a little disappointed in your inability to bounce back. In the past, I was able to consume just about anything without seeing sign of it around my mid-section. Lately, that hasn’t been the case.
I realize that you may be trying to tell me that I’m not pulling my weight, so to speak, and that I should spend more time in the gym and less time on the couch with my bf eating cheese and drinking wine. Consider the message received. Granted, you still look pretty good, but I wanted to have this talk with you, just so that we’re on the same page. I was at yoga the other day and noticed that you weren’t anywhere near the shape you were in two years ago. I hate to say it, but you looked almost...pear shaped. Also, I just switched our gym from the one downtown (the one with all the straight people and burnt out 9-5 types) to the awesome new Vida gym on P Street, whose predominately gay customers make me feel like we’ve been a little lazy. This concerns me, belly, so I want to make sure you understand that if I’m going to take it up a notch, you need to do so as well.
I really want us to grow older with grace, and come to an acceptance of slowing metabolism and the foolishness of tying our identity and worth to a fleeting aesthetic standard that no man can ever fully maintain. We’re better than this, and I’m willing to work with you to transition well, despite the pressure of our community. That being said, I think we can do great things, belly. I want us to run, jump, and have great sex for a long time to come, and do it to the standard I have set for us. The last thing that I want is for you to bottle up hard feelings, and at some point just give up and become like those other bellies that I see on so many other guys. Nothing against those other bellies (they might be quite happy), but I know what you’re capable of, and I want you to reach your full potential. You will be much happier, trust me.
I’m glad we had this talk.
Best,
Ben
3 comments:
hey ben,
one caution, just make sure you are being healthy in your work on your belly. your post seems a little contradictory. I know that this post is tongue-in-cheek but on one hand you talk about the nature of your age and its effect on your belly. Then you talk about being surrounded by gays who are all worked out and feeling increased pressure to conform (how I read it, not necessarily what you said.)
I have been debating offering to write an article here telling the story of something that happened Monday but realized it would be more of a rant than anything else.
I was at a club with some friends. I have lost almost 50 pounds healthfully in the past 13 months. I am now a 32" waist, down from a 40". Some guy who was a friend of a friend touched my belly which admittedly has a little loose skin (since I weigh now what I did in the 7th grade...) and said that I should consider going to the gym. Believe that one?
Luckily, I LOOOOVE me. I made the change for health, and wish the same for you. The towering expectations of some men are just ridiculous. Good luck working it out!
...a fleeting aesthetic standard that no man can ever fully maintain.
I think a healthy layer of bodyfat over muscle is very attractive, makes the muscle look fuller. It also makes you stronger. Don't confuse a little belly, which can be sexy, with being overweight.
...if I’m going to take it up a notch...
Be careful. You're in that window. Don't get sucked into the low self-esteem gym addict thing...which keeps places like Vida Fitness in business. Just workout to be healthy.
And, if you do not mind my saying so, you are a very good looking man. A fact that will alter little by a marginal change in overall bodyfat.
This is almost certainly connected to your smoking cessation (assuming that is still proceeding as planned, which I hope it is...). When you quit smoking, your metabolism slows down -- sometimes quite a bit, depending on the individual.
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