Too Picky: O RLY?

I like being single, this I admit. Mostly, I like it because I like having my options open and don't know if I trust myself to ever feel settled. Like most adults, however, I have my moments of singledom-weakness where I gush out to friends about how I worry that I will never find someone to be with, and that I will grow old sipping PBR alone and signing my name solo on jealousy-stuffed happy anniversary cards. Whenever I throw these pity parties, I almost always get the same response: "Stephanie, you could have a girlfriend; you’re just too picky!" Always, I disagree. While some people seem to relish in the accusation that they are "too picky," I take umbrage at this suggestion as it implies that I am somehow acting foolish. Yes, I am picky; however, I don’t think that I’m being too picky, nor do I think that being picky is some abnormal behavior that should be avoided.

If not somewhat choosy, what else would my quest for companionship look like? Am I supposed to open my arms to every podunk lesbot that walks past me on the sidewalk? Should I make room in my schedule for every lady sporting a faux-hawk and a leather cuff? If so, then, yes, I suppose I am too picky.

I see things differently, though. Just like straight people get to pick and choose from all the thousands of fish in the sea, I, too, should be allowed to shop around the fish market (no vag-pun intended). Just because a one-finned, three-eyed goldfish happens to be a lesbian and in my twenty mile radius doesn’t mean I should like her. I’d usually rather just swim alone. In fact, even if a pretty little lez-trout flutters on past, if we have nothing in common, I'm not going to be interested.

It’s kind of like how people are always telling me about their friend that they’d really like to hook me up with. The following is a dialogue that happens approximately once a month in my life:
Friend: I have this friend I really think you should meet.
Me: Oh, why? Is she funny? Is she cute? Does she like education? public policy? running? sneakers? Matchbox 20? Sparks? Amy's frozen breakfast burritos?
Friend: Hrm, I’m not sure what she's into – but she’s gay!

Oh, really? Because I know this guy that maybe you should date, too – you know that nice loudmouth on the corner; I'm not sure what he's into aside from street harassment and crack, but he always hollers at me on the sidewalk, so I know he likes girls. You like boys, right?

Point being: I am not going to be physically and/or emotionally attracted to about 85-90% of the lesbians I meet, just like straight folks aren't attracted to every member of the opposite sex they meet, or like gay men aren't attracted to every man they pass while walking down U Street.

At times, the fact that I stick to my guns on this issue can make for some lonely moments. Sure, I could possibly fix this by just going on dates with my friends' friends to give myself some short-lived dating validation. However, I honestly feel that I'm too busy to hassle with pointless crap dating; further, I believe that if I do ever stumble across a girl I really care for, the "wow, this is what I waited for" feeling will more than make up for the craptastic missed opportunities I failed to fill the gaps with.

Basically, I like to read non-fiction books; however, I would never just go into a bookstore and buy any random book in the non-fiction section. That doesn't make me an overly picky consumer does it? When it comes to dating, I don’t think I’m too picky. However, I guess if being too picky means having standards and preferences, despite being a lesbian - guilty as charged.

PSA: Coupled people, please, stop gratuitously telling your single friends that they are too picky. After all, it may be that you're just desperate.