Go To The Wedding!
This post was submitted by "Andrew."
I read Michael’s post questioning whether he should attend his uncle’s wedding or Homo/Sonic and came to an immediate and simple conclusion: Go to the wedding!
There will be other TNG events, but the good nephew thing to do is to go to the wedding.
Besides, I thought, what good will come of the gays boycotting straight weddings? We want to have our own weddings, ought we not support the institution of marriage to further lend credence to our desire to marry?
It was at this point my thought journey abruptly veered into a completely unexpected direction. I thought about the notion of boycotting something you want but cannot have – and whether this is generally an effective tactic.
I’ve had occasion to sit on the bus on which Mrs. Parks sparked a most famous boycott. It was an amazing experience that led me to think deeply about the awesome power of objection – a power Mrs. Parks clearly understood.
That boycott ultimately worked very well. 381 grueling days of objection yielded the end of segregation on public transit and began to turn the tides of race relations in the United States. By no means have we reached the desired end state of racial harmony, but I would like to think that 53 years later, we’ve made substantial progress.
Considering all that, and the numerous other instances of objection that have given way to social change, I wonder: Why we don’t object more?
You might object to the Defense of Marriage act and countless state and local laws prohibiting same-sex unions. I definitely object to those things. But are we raising our objections loudly enough? Has anyone among us ever gone to the great personal sacrifice that Mrs. Parks and her peers experienced in our quest to procure the right to marry?
I haven’t.
But let’s think about this: Ministers who support gay marriage stop performing ceremonies and compassionate churches refuse to host them. Florists and caterers who have gay friends or sisters stop providing wedding services. City clerks and judges who believe in the right of every person to marry stop signing marriage licenses. If all these people and the gays themselves said “no” and brought the wedding industry to its knees ... maybe we would make some positive progress.
Stop using the buses and see how long the system survives unchanged.
6 comments:
your examples of protest all involve people who aren't queers. It's gay people themselves who need to play the role of Rosa Parks. However, I can't think of any situations where your hypothetical would be relevant, as such. Unless of course, you want to do a sit-in at the dc marriage license office.
There aren't queer ministers, florists, caterers, city clerks, or judges?
In his post, he referenced straight people in these roles, but for the sake of discussion, do you think that gay ministers, florists, caterers, city clerks, and judges would stop their support of straight marriage, knowing it will be the end of the job/career/business? If you were one of these people, would you?
Most gay men won't even give up their manhunt account, and that company funds a presidential candidate who denies our most basic rights and threatens to appoint supreme court justices that can roll back the few rights we have won. I'm not convinced we're got that kind of fight in us. At least, not on this issue.
Andrew:
Marriage is more than an "industry." This is why refusing to provide someone flowers on their wedding day is not effective. It is not the caterers/florists/ect that need to be targetted (although it is great that many companies are taking a stand.) If anything, the mariage law already limits their market in the first place. If all they care about is money, as you suggest, one would think these companies would want gays to be married if only to give them more of a profit. Bringing them "to their knees" isn't the issue. Gay rights are more than "market value."
Plus, people are taking a stance against marriage laws by....getting married. I think you begin to raise an adequate point, but then lose it by stating cliche' examples and not following through with more concrete examples.
I'm not knocking the idea, but wasn't this the plot of a kinda cheesy TV-movie with John Stamos on A&E?
@ Ben -- In your second comment, your point about us not having the cojones to do it is more or less what I was going for here. I think we spend a lot of time wanting this right but .. manhunt accounts being an excellent example ... aren't really willing to go that extra mile for it. Myself included! Sure, I vote for supportive candidates, and in my own wedding planning seek supportive institutions and individuals ... but I haven't gone out of my way to stand up and say "This is a fundamental right from which I am excluded. I won't tolerate that."
@ "Anonymous" -- I accept and agree that marriage is much more than an "industry" but there is a very capitalistic side of it as well. I'm merely wondering here whether "bringing them to their knees" as you say wouldn't make a point we're thus far unwilling to make (to Ben's earlier statement.)
And sure, there are gay people who do all these jobs ... I was hoping their support would be obvious. Maybe not?
Interesting thoughts, I appreciate it all. My goal was to think about this in an intellectually stimulating forum and I appreciate the thought you've all lent it!
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