Billy Mays+Allison Sitting in a Tree...Selling Stuff

I am addicted to infomercials. If it’s catchy, on TV after 10pm, and semi relative to my life, I’m hooked. It doesn’t matter that I don’t steam chicken on the regular, or require a master bit drill for my one bedroom apartment. You better believe I have every oxi-clean product, and those green bags that keep my veggies “fresher for longer.” If Billy Mays grew breasts, well, there’s just no telling what kind of ugly porno we would make together.

Since my several frequent infomercial purchases through out the year, I’d like to share with you which products work well, and which ones are like bad lovers you wish you’d never met.


Mighty Puddy!

Mighty Puddy is the best thing to come into my life since my waterproof vibrator. Living in an apartment with concrete walls, trying to hang up posters and curtains just creates random, useless holes in my wall. I tried Mighty Puddy since it was only $9.95 at Linens and Things. Now, Mighty Puddy holds up my curtains, posters, hooks and covers various holes in the wall. My cat event jumped on my curtains and tried to climb to my ceiling…the curtains stayed intact. I give Mighty Puddy a 10/10.

The Magic Chopper

Since living alone, the only thing I cook for myself is “stir fry” (Uncle Ben’s 90 second brown rice with veggies. And soy sauce.) Chopping vegetable really isn’t hard or that time consuming, but now my 10 minute activity turns into a 1 minute chopping extravaganza! It’s good for when I make my lunch for the week, then get Chipotle anyway. Magic Chopper gets 8/10.

Debby Meyer Green Bags

I like these bags because they are reusable and make me feel like I’m reducing my carbon footprint by at least .1%. I don’t really know if they work, or if I really care that my vegetables can stay fresh for a few days longer. Right now I have a zucchini in my fridge that I will report back on later. Debby Meyer Green Bags get 6/10.

The Steam Buddy!

The Steam Buddy is currently rocking my socks off! Whenever I try to iron, I somehow create more wrinkles. The steam buddy is lighter than a hair dryer, and comes with a creaser! I treat it like a magic wand, poofing my wrinkles away. The steam buddy also poofed away a fight I was having with my girlfriend by creating a great "I'm sorry my cat peed on your face while you were asleep" gift. The best part about steaming is that you can de-wrinkle while your clothes are still hanging up. Steam Buddy gets 10/10.

All the items above are located in the "As seen on TV" section of CVS, my new favorite corner.

To report on next: The Topsy Turvy, The Handy Switch, and maybe The Swivel Sweeper (if I save up).