Protein Shakes: Muscle Magic or Horse Sh**?

I’ve always laughed at people who drink protein shakes. “Snicker, snicker,” I would think, “look at that fool trying to become the next Terminator, equipped with nothing but too many calories and a YMCA membership.” Sometimes the people I laughed at would, indeed, eventually buff up, but I always accredited this to obsessive gym tendencies and not to the chicken breast shakes they were having each morning, noon and night. Then, last week, I was watching an episode of MADE on MTV, and some chick who was training to become a body builder was eating something like 20 eggs a day. Even though eggs are really the only thing I’ve missed since becoming vegan, it made me sick just to watch this girl stuffing all those hard-boiled sources of protein into her face and I couldn’t help but wonder – Do you really need that much protein just to add a little muscle to your body? Are protein shake drinkers really a member of some wisdom club that I've just foolishly been refusing to join?


Anyway, yesterday, I finally broke down and bought a quasi-protein shake. Mind you, I bought this not because I want to build more muscle, but rather because I am one of the laziest vegan cooks you’ll ever meet, and if I don’t buy a meal at Stickyfingers or Whole Foods, then chances are I’m eating a microwaved Amy’s burrito or salsa straight out the jar (I like to call this vegan chili) for my meal. For a while, I’d been sporadically buying individual cans of Spiru-Tein (one of the only vegan-friendly protein/energy shakes) to keep me energized throughout the day, especially now that I gym it up almost every day. However, I’ve decided that buying the shake mix is the much more economically efficient way to go, and plus, now I can add my own flavoring should I ever get around to buying fruit while I’m Whole Foods buying dinner or beer.

After buying my protein mix, I decided to do some research on whether there are actually buffing-up benefits to imbibing protein in mass quantities. According to this article on MSN Health and Fitness, not so much. This author indicates that most people get enough protein through their normal daily diet, and that if you go over the recommended daily allowance, you’re not necessarily doing anything to help build up more muscle. In fact, if you don’t use up all the extra calories you take in through the shakes, like with other calories, your body will just store it as fat. Furthermore, for those who really pound down the protein, slurping down too much can actually be detrimental to your health, as high-protein diets can lead to bone loss and kidney damage.

Given all this information, I'm back to calling horse shit on protein shakes. For now, though, I will continue drinking mine since I'm mostly doing so out of kitchen laziness and a desire to have energy that’s not supplied by a nutrient lacking, lightly-carbonated can of Red Bull. So, even though I'd probably appreciate a little more muscle in the should-be abdominal region, the results of the protein shake article don’t sadden me, as I never rested by six-pack hopes a single daily shake. However, for those who are disappointed that a poorly chosen protein shake may not be all that’s holding you back from a super-fit physique, don’t worry, there’s always the Hawaii Chair.