TNG Zack is STILL an Asshole
What is it about The New Pornographers that bring out my dark side? After the Canadian pop group's 9:30 Club show in October, I accidentally felt up a strange woman because I thought she was a female impersonator with fake breasts. But last night, I did something less illegal and way more public. Something that had the two lead singers of my favorite band hailing me by well-deserved epithets.
First, vocalist Neko Case (who had stayed home sick the previous night) apologized to the crowd for missing the show, which fell on frontman Carl Newman's birthday. She said "I'm a dick" and I yelled "No you're not." To that, Carl responded to me with "You, sir, are an asshole" and the whole place cheered.
A minute later someone yelled to Carl that the keyboard player, his niece, was hot. The guy's exact words were "Your niece is hot." Carl replied "She'll always be 16 to me." I was unable to stop myself from yelling, very loudly, "Even better!"
At that point, Neko called me a douchebag.
The best voice in contemporary music, every syllable a spider's silk harpstring plucked by a unicorn's hoof, compared me to a feminine hygiene product in front of 1,000 people.
You. Are. A. Douchebag.
She was right. At that moment, I once again became the kind of guy I hate. I was "That" guy. The guy yelling obnoxious things at a rock show. The guy so excited to be listened to that he forgets how important it is to have substantive things to say.
Let this be a lesson to everyone:
A) Voices carry across the 9:30 Club better than you think.
B) The occasional dick in your male mouth doesn't give you the right to make gross jokes about women.
C) There is a clear and important difference between good and bad attention.
Neko, Carl and especially Kathryn: I'm sorry.
11 comments:
this is unfortunate. but i don't understand why carl newman would call you an asshole for telling neko case she is not a dick. and, while your joke about the niece was probably in poor taste, why does neko case need to comment? i think the new pornographers sound like typical snobby canadians. i don't like their music at all and think they should leave our country.
OMFG! That was you???!!! My female companion and I were among the people who clapped when neko called you a douche. I would have had no way of knowing you were a newgayblogger. We were all upstairs saying, "how did that guy get in?" Let's face it-it wasn't a drunkfratboy type of crowd last night. I thought for sure you were just some nasty hetero puke. HI-larious! I rather enjoyed the call and response dynamic of the show, truth be told. Was anybody downstairs for the pirate-themed birthday party post-show? They gave away treasure chests with candy and pirate hats. BTW-I have a set-list for the show if anybody's interested...
that was fuckin perfect. just hilarious.
and parker: the only reason the vast majority of us snobby canadians are in "your" country is for your money. believe me, it's not for the charming people, as you've just proven. you guys have sooo much money. just rollin' in it. but now that even that is going to shit many of us will be leaving. you get your wish. enjoy your wars (present and undoubtedly future)! prick.
I always knew you had it in you.
Is it me or is the word DB making a come back?
And I am the only one who hates it?
i don't want to make a joke into a real debate, but who cares. adam's not here: canadians are amongst the worst people on the planet because all they ever do (in my experience) is make fun of america and start overrated indie rock bands. thanks for proving me right. i don't have a problem with people criticizing the u.s., but it's a little pathetic that canadians have nothing (or next to nothing) else to do. enjoy being worthless for the rest of your existance. prick.
somebunny needs to smoke a maple leaf and chillax.
Zack,
You sir, are awesome. I feel that much cooler now that I know someone that was yelled at by an indie-rock band. Good show last night, I have to say (you and TNP).
thats nothing. once me and my best friend got drunk at a le tigre show in philly and were trying to get everyone around us to take their clothes off...we were "those people". well right before le tigre comes out gloria steinem, the well known feminist, appears and the crowd hushes up. my bff unknowingly doesnt realize this and while gloria starts talking all you see is this one jackass waving a shirt high above her head screaming "TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRTTTTT!" it was over for us after that and it was a LONGGGGG time before i returned to philly because of the shame!
ps - canadians > americans imho.
That is rich. Hey if it makes you feel any better my drunk ex friend fell out of the balcony during the X concert at the 9:30 and my favorite song Delta 88 was being sung. Of course i stayed and listened to the song. Hence X friend. He was ok, just a little blood from his ear.
John in Seattle
'Douchebag' is, indeed, among my favorite words. I dare say it eclipses 'asshat' and even the almighty 'fucktard'.
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