Lez Be Friends

This post was submitted by Stephanie, who should probably have her own TNG account by now for all the posts she's submitted.

I have a theory: Most lesbian events are under-attended because many lesbians can’t find someone to drag out with them (there is no lesbian equivalent to the fag-hag), nor do they feel comfortable going to lesbian events alone. Sure, there are other factors: the natural inclination to stay home petting the dogs; Adult Swim; and sports games that we need to rest-up for. However, my own recent experiences and conversations with other dykes make me believe that my theory has quite a bit of validity to it.

Take this scene: On Friday night I decided that I really did want to see what the inside of Phase 1 looks like, so I decided to suck up my gay-litist aversion to lesbian bars and head on over to Slut Night. Naturally, I asked my usual right-hand lesbian friend to come along with me; and then, when I found out that she already had plans, I told myself that maybe a night in playing video games wasn’t such a bad idea anyway. However, a message on Facebook reminded me that there was another lesbian friend from college whom I wanted to catch up with, so I texted her about going out. Since she was enthusiastically up for the event, I braved the rain and took a cab over to Eastern Market. Unfortunately, however, my friend and her girlfriend were running late, so I ended up making small talk with the few people I knew there, and then just sat and people-watched in the corner while I waited. Eventually, I found myself bored, cashless, and craving a box of DOTS more than any of the women around me, so I texted the friend and told her I’d have to catch up with her another time and headed out.

I don’t blame my lack of fun on the event - dykes all around me were having what appeared to be a good time. The truth is, though, who the hell ever has fun hanging out alone in a bar/club on a Friday or Saturday night except, perhaps, for the most extreme kind of loner and/or alcoholic?

I know from conversations with other D.C. dykes that I am not alone in this annoying lack of lesbian friends. I mean, I don’t work for a gay non-profit, nor do I have time for a sports team, and I didn’t move here with a girlfriend; this all being said, my lifestyle, like that of my gay girls, isn’t particularly well-suited for meeting other queer ladies.

While I’m not quite at the point where I would respond to any of the craigslist calls to form L Word-modeled social groups, I do think that I would like to be a little more proactive about fixing the pathetic situation so many of us face. I mean, gay girls are generally pretty fun to hang out with - no matter how much we age, we don’t seem to lose our ability to drink, dance, or see the potential for fun in a variety of Nerf games.

So, homo-sisters, how about we suck up our awkwardness for a bit and try venturing out to places even when we have no one to use as our social crutch; then, once out, try to introduce ourselves to new people (this is the part I failed at on Friday). Seriously, no one really looks over at the person alone at the bar and thinks, “HOLY SHIT – THERE’S A LOSER!” Maybe this Wednesday I’ll wear a name tag to BeBar’s weekly dyke night. If you feel uncomfortable being alone, you can come and introduce yourself. If you don’t see a name tag, just look for a person wearing a cardigan and/or sweater vest and sagging skinny jeans while mocking the fancy furniture, and come over and say hello. Seriously, see you on Wednesday.