401K Fierce

TNG is taking a much needed break from Dec 19-Jan 4. TNG will return with new content on Jan 5. Until then, please enjoy this post from the past year. Original publish date: 11/21/08

TNG contributor and commenter, Joey Bahamas, who describes himself as a 22-year-old black, gay, Bahamian, Marxist, Aquarian, activist, writer, scholar, sartorialist, bohemian, and drunkard living in DC, contrasts his own fiscal definition of fierce with that of the modern gays'.

Every other Friday I fight a war; this coming Friday will be no exception. For the most part, by the time I get my non-profit pay check it’s already spent—a prime example that (in this world) good deeds often cost more than they pay. The war is fought over what’s left after Verizon, the gym, my landlord and every other service rendering, product providing creature that has weaseled its way into my monthly budget. I am left with only two choices: I can be fierce or I can be responsible. For a long time fierce has won out, but no more.

So much of who we are as gay men has to do with image. Maybe it’s because for extended periods in many of our lives we did everything in our power to make the world believe that we were something that we were not. I’m talking to those of us who did everything in our power to look, act and be straight. Old habits die hard, so focusing on image may just be something we’re use to do doing. Or maybe as men we are just more naturally inclined to give greater importance to how something or someone looks. In short, maybe we’re naturally superficial. Whatever it is, I think we can universally agree that gay men can be very image obsessed, and that such an obsession has repercussions throughout our lives.

“Gym-rats,” the “no fats, no femmes” movement; these are obvious ways image obsession has manifested in our community. Beyond the gay enclave, Tyra Banks and Christian Siriano have led a modern day crusade to make the term “fierce” a part of the mainstream, and even the straights don’t believe that you’re a real gay unless you’re “fierce”. Image is so important to us that some of us go to great lengths to create superficial realities of who we are, despite our inability to afford those realities.

Think about it. How many of you know a gaggle of gays crammed into a studio apartment in Logan or Dupont Circle just so they can say they live in Logan or Dupont Circle? Or, what about that friend that spends hundreds of dollars at the club on the weekend but can barely pay for lunch during the week? Then there’s my favorite, you know, the label-queen with the newest garments that can’t seem to scrape up enough money to leave their parents basement?

This is something I’m seeing pretty regularly with gays my age, the 18-25 group (just to be clear). From the house kids, to the club kids, to the 14th and P kids; dinning at the best restaurants, being at the choicest clubs and wearing the most expensive pieces are what some have their sights on, leaving much of the rest of their lives out of focus. Being fierce is expensive, and for some of us it’s out of reach.

Personally, this signals a desperate need for us to take a look at how and why we prioritize things in the gay community the way we do. Fierceness or the act of being fierce, has a unique and—in my opinion—dangerous focus on the present, particularly for those who can’t afford it. Looking good, being seen at the hottest spots, and living in the most exclusive neighborhood has a lot to do with the now, and can leave little time to shape, plan or fund one’s future. With unaffordable health care and housing, strained Social Security and Medicare systems, and without the protection of marriage, growing older for LGBT people can be a scary and treacherous road to travel especially if we can’t afford to protect ourselves.

That’s really what my every-other-Friday fight is about. Who will get the last few coins I have left post bill collection? Will it be Barney’s Co-Op or my 401K? In recent days I have taken the responsible path and continued to siphon most of my money into my savings and 401K accounts at the cost of my wardrobe and social life. In honor of this bold new step toward my best interest, I’ve decided to fight for my own little piece of the “fierce” brand. I think the queen that saves should be considered just as fierce as the queen that shops. And, I believe that the size of my 401K is more an indicator of my fierceness than the size of my bar tab. So, on the days I can’t afford to be fierce-fierce, I’m “401K fierce” because honestly I couldn’t see not being fierce every single day.