8 Days of Queer Judaism, Day 2: Palatable Christmas Songs

This is part 2 of an 8 day series on Chanukah from the gay Jewish perspective. I really can't do this all by myself and would love submissions from the TNG readership on the gay, bi, lesbian and transgender Jewish experience. You may email them to me at Zack@thenewgay.net)

This might seem like an odd Chanukah post but this time of year, and its terrible preponderance of schmaltzy Christmas music, has a way of making a guy acutely aware that he cares not a lick about about the reason for the season. I love the weather and the festivity, but if I hear one more sleigh bell coming from a mall speaker I'm going to lay down on Rudolph's runway and let myself be trampled.

A couple days ago, Rachel Beckman wrote an awesome article on feeling torn between a Jewish identity and the undeniable joy that comes from "All I Want for Christmas is You." Shitty Christmas songs are here to stay and I am not going to insult our readership by suggesting that Adam Sandler's "Chanukah Song" is a suitable alternative. Rather, I wanted to present some secular Christmas songs that don't suck. Its not a Kol Nidre dance remix but it might make you feel less left out to find some seasonal music you can actually enjoy.

Top five beneath the fold:



1. Wham, "Last Christmas:" Ben's right, George Michael gets too much shit. This song would rock if it was about Arbor Day. I dare you to only listen once.



2. The Kinks, "Father Christmas:" Who here doesn't want to mug Santa? This song acknowledges that you can ask for whatever you want, but we're all really looking for cash.



3. The Pogues (with Kirsty MacColl): "Fairy Tale of New York:" This only sounds traditional and is surely the only Christmas song in history to feature the phrases "You're an old slut on junk" and "You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot." If only more would follow its lead. (And bonus points if you can name which equally depressing movie plays "Fairy Tale" over its opening credits.)



4. The Waitresses, "Christmas Wrapping:" Though Blondie's Rapture should make you rightfully leery of 80's white girl's rapping, this songs is pretty awesome. It fulfills everyone's (somewhat secret) desire to spend Christmas by themselves and maybe meet someone cute in the supermarket checkout aisle. (And sorry about the homemade video- there was no official clip on YouTube.)



5. The Raveonettes, "The Christmas Song:" Michael would probably kill me if I included "Do They Know Its Christmas" instead this. Leave it to the Swedes Danes to sound detached while singing about St. Nick. (and again, sorry about the weird video.)